STARGATE: EXPLORER

by Lady Grey
Alpha/Beta by Jude

December 24

Aboard the Gaia

A long, black object on Daniel’s bed caught his eye as soon as he entered his quarters; it appeared to be a diving suit.  As he leaned closer to examine it, Claire’s faint, unamplified voice carried to him from her sleeping shelf above his bunk.

Automatically he turned to look at her.  Rather than zooming around in the air, the Sky Clan female stood by her tiny bed, stark naked and stunningly female.  Daniel jerked his head around and immediately put his back to her. 

He cleared his throat. “Claire, put something on, please.” He wrapped his arms about himself, looking all around the room except in her direction. “We’ve talked about this before.  I’m not supposed to see you naked.”

Her voice was faint, but he realized she was calling him, so he moved closer, backing up without turning around.  “I said, I am here to teach you how to wear the s’resh,” she shouted. “You must watch, to learn how to put it on and use it.”

Well, crap, he said in his head.  That meant he was going to have to get naked in front of her, too.

“Can I leave my underwear on?” he asked with a sigh.

“No.  You also cannot fly, since your body type is too heavy for our flight gear.”

Daniel sat down on the bed with a sigh of frustration and began to undress.  “Can’t one of the Sky Clan guys show me how to do this?”

“It makes a difference?”

“It does to me.”

She huffed an impatient sigh and rolled her eyes, a wonderfully human gesture. “Very well, then. Watch as I put on my s'resh, and then I will send someone else to train you.”

That was a little bit of a load off his mind.

He tried to remain completely objective and not notice the details of her body as he studied Claire don her own tiny black outfit. The seams appeared to magically seal once she fastened them into place, but it took quite a bit of tucking and adjusting for her to get everything fitted just right. Putting on the s’resh looked like a complicated endeavor, and he could understand now why the fairies didn’t take them off except when necessary.

Later, when Sky Clan Jack arrived, Claire had left his quarters to work with Colonel McFarland on her s’resh training. Daniel stripped down and walked through the complicated dressing process with the little pink-haired male.  Once Daniel had the uniform on, Jack showed him all the accessories built into it.  Daniel was pleased to note that this unit, made specifically for him, didn’t have the same power requirements without the wings; it would run on tiny replaceable external energy cells, which were fastened down the outer sides of his legs, looking like shiny little obsidian discs.

The s’resh fabric was filled with a network of tubular veins filled with water, which would act as insulation, as well as emergency field supplies. Communication modules were implanted on the chest, along with controls for personal shields, portable lighting, an on-board computer, and data storage. The gauntlets on the arms provided additional controls and weaponry, and at the small of his back, Daniel’s s’resh also had a pouch that would carry the portable DHD.

This garment, unlike his other clothing, did not carry the haloed inverted "V" glyph that was stitched into all his other Furling-made attire, so he asked about its absence.

"This will be your uniform when traveling among your enemies," Jack explained. "You should not advertise your identity, and some might recognize the mark, so we thought it best to leave it off."

That made sense, and Daniel was glad they'd thought of it.

He finger-combed his hair back against his nape and fastened it into a short ponytail with a silver clasp, covered with black enamel, to keep it out of his way and off the collar of the uniform.  He wondered how he looked. The Furlings were fastidious but not vain; they didn't use mirrors to check their appearance; in the months he'd been with them, Daniel had only seen glimpses of himself when passing shiny glass or other reflective surfaces. He supposed he must resemble a Goa'uld Super Soldier, but less bulky, and with no ugly helmet.

Once he became accustomed to the weightless fabric against his skin, he felt as though he were completely naked.  A glance downward at his personal bits enhanced that image; the garment looked painted on.

“Um, Jack, do you think I could get a little something added to cover… certain parts?” he requested, gesturing toward his crotch, then reaching back and checking out the very obvious cleft of his behind with his fingertips. “Oh, dear.”

Jack rolled his sky blue eyes and sighed. “Truly, I do not understand your people's obsessive need to hide your bodies, friend. All your males have the same organs; there is no mystery there.”

“Your males don’t have the same equipment?”

“Not all of us, no,” Jack told him. 

With a crooked grin, he demonstrated the next procedure. "Activate your helmet, like this." The smooth, shiny dome snapped into place like a hungry mouth devouring his head.

Daniel obliged, fitting the tall, flexible neck of the garment into place and following the sequence of commands that made the device appear like magic. The featureless black visor shielding his eyes revealed a lighted display on the inside, along with a perfectly clear, unobstructed view of his quarters. He could hear Jack’s voice as if the Sky Clan male were right at his ear.

In order to give Daniel more than enough information to answer his question, the alien proceeded to pull up a wealth of biological information on the various Furling genders, the data scrolling up on the inner surface of the visor. Jack used the experience as a launching point in how to operate the computer and communication systems, and by the time they had finished the instruction, Daniel was certain he’d never know everything he needed to be a competent s’resh operator.

These people were so technologically advanced and biologically unique, he observed privately, he had no idea why the Furlings had taken such a liking to the human race. 

December 25

The Next Day

Dressed in a hoodie and sweat pants, Doctor Carolyn Lam fell into her deliciously warm bed just after midnight, exhausted from three days of cramming technical instructions into her mind. The technology in Gaia's infirmary was absolutely mind-boggling; she felt like a child compared to her alien hosts. Her brain overloaded daily, forcing her to take frequent breaks just to try to absorb the new information she was learning.

Eventually she’d have to be able to operate the diagnostic machines in order to understand the test results and biological information on both human and Furling patients.  Right now, though, she was just tired.

For an hour or so, she tried to sleep, but there was too much going on in her mind, so she gave up. Rising again, she pulled on a pair of socks and some running shoes, and headed for the gym. After a brief workout, she stopped by the galley to pick up some breakfast and then to the dining hall for a break and pleasant surroundings while she ate.

She loved this room. The domed ceiling was brightly lit and resembled a sunny sky, complete with artificial clouds rolling across it. Live potted plants in long containers lined the walls, adding their own oxygen to the room, along with a multitude of exotic floral fragrances. It was always so peaceful there, and conversation never rose above a pleasant murmur.

Carrying a bowl of fruit, a small pastry, and a cup of soothing tea, Carolyn spied a familiar face at one of the tables and strolled up to say hello.  “Mind if I sit down?” she asked.

Obviously having been interrupted from some deep thought, Daniel glanced up at her with intense blue eyes. He sat up straight and closed his journal on the pen with which he’d been writing. “Please,” he said, gesturing toward the bench across from him.

“Cool outfit,” she told him, pointing to the tightly fitted black outfit he was wearing.

He glanced down at his chest self-consciously, then back up at her. “It’s a s’resh,” he explained. “We’ll be using these instead of BDUs when we go off world. I have to learn how to operate my clothes now.”

“It looks very, um… useful. And sounds complicated, as are most things Furling.”  She arranged her dishes in front of her and picked up a spoon to stir the Furling equivalent of honey into her tea.  “I guess I won’t be needing one of those suits, since I’m not on the away team,” she observed.

“Yeah, you’ll be staying on board the ship.” He took a bite out of a sweet bread. “How are those tests coming?”

She knew he was just being conversational. “I haven’t really gotten started on analysis yet,” she admitted. “My God, I can’t believe how complicated some of their technology is! The Furlings are really an amazing people.”  Carolyn leaned forward on her elbows, conspiratorially lowering her voice. “Did you know the Mountain Clan are all male?”

“Yeah, I had a recent Furling biology lesson,” he said, tearing into another bite while the first was only half-chewed. He leaned closer, too. “They have several genders, Carolyn, not just two. It’s kinda hard to tell who’s what, though I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you watched their mating process…es. Like I told you, they have no concept of privacy.”

She chuckled at the idea, but then suddenly sobered as she remembered her Furling trainer’s introduction to the memory recorder. “Daniel, they want me to download everything I know into their database, but I have information I can’t share with them. Military secrets. Privileged medical information.”  She hesitated before adding in a harsh whisper, “Private stuff.”

“Yeah.”  His expression suddenly cooled, and he slumped in his chair, avoiding her gaze. “Don’t we all.” There was a trace of bitterness in his voice, and he wouldn’t look at her. He tore off another bite of the sweet bread and stuffed it into his mouth.

Carolyn didn’t especially enjoy the view of his enthusiastic mastication, but he was a guy, after all. Then what he’d said finally registered, and the light bulb went on over her head. “You mean, they did that to you? They got in your head?”

“When I first escaped from Zeus and came back through the Furdani gate, I hadn’t even met any of them yet, but they had most of my life recorded before I even knew what they were doing,” he told her. “They did it while I was sleeping, and then later when I was sick, after that lizard-bird thing got me. Haven’t you kept up with the reports I sent in?”

“Frankly, no. I’ve been a little busy. I was planning on looking over your previous data during down time here, but I haven’t had a moment to myself yet.”

She was still working on identifying that disease that had appeared shortly after General O’Neill and Daniel had returned from Furdani, infecting pretty much everyone at Alpha. The Furlings' noxious taimin tea had provided a cure for the disease, which they had named Virus A; the medical department had been very busy keeping up with the demand for the tea, as the sickness had inexplicably spread to other worlds. The Jaffa were apparently immune, thanks to their symbiotes or Tretonin, but humans were not; the illness’s effect was being felt everywhere.

She didn’t know what to say to Daniel’s revelation. She was shocked that he’d allow such an intrusion, but if he hadn’t been privy to what they were doing, he couldn’t very well have objected.

“It’s part of their culture,” he went on, still not making eye contact. “I understand why they do it, and I know, if I’m going to learn about them and live among them, it’s a sacrifice I have to make. That doesn’t mean I’m happy that literally everything I do is subject to their scrutiny. I’m getting used to it, but I still don’t like having Claire fly in for a chat when I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Oh.” She sat up very straight. “No one's barged in on me.”

“Yet.” He rose from the table, carrying the last of his snack in one hand, the journal in the other, carefully placed in front of his crotch as though he were suddenly naked. “You can bet they will, as soon as someone thinks they have a need to speak with you at what will likely be the most inconvenient time possible.” Without waiting for any answering comment, he strode away, his long legs carrying him fast.

She looked down at her plate, suddenly not hungry anymore.

Then he was back at her elbow, lightly touching her shoulder for just a moment. “Look, Carolyn,” he said, giving her a sympathetic stare, his expression softening with regret at the way he’d spoken to her, “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I've just got a lot on my mind.” He smiled. "See you at Remembrance tonight." Then he was gone again.

Doctor Lam sighed and leaned against her hand, elbow on the table, closing her eyes for just a moment. She shook her head, amazed and saddened by the twists and turns the future had brought them both.  She took a nibble of the fruit, then decided she wasn’t hungry after all, so she got up to return to her quarters.  She hit her bunk again and, after a little tossing and turning, managed to get a few hours' rest.

It didn't register till she checked her messages that it was Christmas Day.  She'd been so busy since her arrival, she'd barely had time to think about the approaching holiday, and now it had arrived. The thought brought a sudden rush of grief, as she realized this would be her first Christmas without her family… without her world. There would be no gaily wrapped presents under a sparkling tree, no carols piped into every available audio device, no sentimental cards in bright colors and shiny foil inks.

She and Daniel and the few other humans on board were surrounded by aliens who looked at this holiday as an interesting custom from another world and didn't understand the depth of its meaning, or what it was intended to celebrate, despite the mercantile misappropriation of the last few decades. On this ship hurtling through space, it was just another day.

Swallowing a lump in her throat and blinking back tears, she opened a message from Daniel that appeared on the holographic viewer on her desktop. The tiny figure smiled at her, but his eyes were sad. "Merry Christmas, Carolyn," his image said softly. "Don't forget about Remembrance tonight, deck two in the big assembly hall. There's a homework assignment before you come. Instructions are attached. Sorry I didn't give you more time to do this, but I've been kind of… distracted."    

Doctor Lam read the attachment, and with a sigh of resignation, started working on a letter to her late parents. She didn't really understand the point to all this. They were dead; they couldn't possibly read a letter, but this was a Furling custom, and when in Rome…

Typically, no documents were ever printed on Gaia, but the directions indicated a copy would be delivered to her just prior to the Remembrance ceremony that night, at the door to the auditorium. Daniel wasn't specific on the details, just indicating that she should check in at the data center at the door like everyone else, and she'd figure it out.

The day passed quickly, and at the appointed time, she shut down her workstation and headed down the corridor to the second deck, making her way with the rest of a growing crowd toward the cavernous assembly hall.

Just before she entered, she saw what the Furling crew were doing and cued up her file from the system, taking the printed copy from the paper delivery port. It looked like a fine, translucent parchment with her letter written in an elegant, perfect English script, embellished with metallic accents and lovely artistic flourishes decorating the corners of the page. She stared at it as she ambled forward with the rest of the crew entering the chamber, taking the time to appreciate its beauty.

"Carolyn! Over here!"

She lifted her head as she heard Daniel's voice, and nudged her way through the throng toward the center of the room, where he stood with Teal'c, Rose and Scout.

"Merry Christmas," said Rose, reaching out for a quick hug.

"Indeed," agreed Teal'c.

"Thanks, and Merry Christmas to you," she returned with a polite smile. "Though it really doesn't feel like…" She shrugged and looked at the floor, her throat tightening as a memory of her father lifting her up to put the star on the tree flashed through her mind.  She'd been about eight years old, and that had been their last holiday as a happy family. After that, he'd been away on various unaccompanied tours of duty, and then her parents had divorced.  She'd grown to understand his role in the military once she grew up, but she'd never really forgiven him.

She looked at the letter again, and the lovely text blurred with tears.

The instructions had said to write down everything she wanted to say to whomever she had lost. Now the words seemed trite, though they had certainly been difficult and heartfelt at the time she typed them into the file.  There was so much more she wanted to say now, but her parents would never hear it, because they were gone.

A melodious bell-like sound began to toll, the vibration pulsing through her body like a gentle puff of breeze, then echoing up her legs from the floor. The buzz of conversation hushed instantly, and Scout stepped from their group to the center of the room. A circular section of floor lifted him upward, so he could see the entire assembly.

He began to speak, his fine voice amplified to fill the room, but Carolyn didn't understand a word of the alien language.

Daniel started to translate, his gaze fixed on the speaker, keeping his own voice low for the three humans who needed the interpretation.

"Today is the day of Remembrance," he announced softly. "We will not forget those who have been lost. We celebrate our love for them, and speak to them with our hearts. In this way, they will live forever, for love does not know time or the limitations of death. Love is eternal, and we thank our creator for this, the greatest gift of all."  The podium lowered, and Scout stepped down to the floor again.

As soon as he'd rejoined his party, a shallow bowl-shaped fixture began to lower from the ceiling.  It was about twelve feet in diameter, but only about a foot deep, a shiny golden dish floating freely and descending slowly to give the audience time to move back.

Scout put a hand on Rose's shoulder and handed her his parchment. "It's the custom to share our words with one who is living.  It’s not mandatory, but I'd be honored if you would read mine, friend Rose. Daniel helped me write part of it in English. I'm still learning your written language." 

Colonel MacFarland smiled up at him and nodded. "Same here, hon." She gave him a small square paper. "And here’s mine, to my son."

Carolyn watched as they began to read, their emotions evident on their faces. Both were deeply moved, and afterward, they approached the dish together. They exchanged letters again, then both gently tossed their own parchment into the golden bowl. The pages sailed over the wide circle and settled to the bottom, instantly vaporizing into a spray of amber-edged brilliance, sparks traveling upward in random curls of light. 

Others followed suit, depositing their letters into the dish, watching the paper vanish, and then turning away to make room for more to approach.

"Our words go out to those whom we have lost," Daniel added, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust, energy to energy, blending with the souls of those who are all around us.  That's the last part of the speech Scout made, but I didn't get it until now. It's a beautiful sentiment."

He turned to Teal'c and handed over a small scroll. "That's a letter to my parents," he explained.

The Jaffa gave him a paper with a brief paragraph written in hieroglyphs, probably by Teal'c's own hand, in his native language. "My letter is to my late wife, and to Master Brata’c."

Then Daniel turned to Carolyn with a little trepidation in his eyes. He held out his hand to her and, clutched in it was a thick roll of the parchment paper. "I'd be honored if you’d read mine, Doctor. Just the last few lines, really, because the rest would take too long, I guess." He shrugged and ducked his head. "Maybe I didn't really get the right idea what this Remembrance thing was supposed to be about."

"Okay. Sure."

She took the paper and unrolled it, glancing at the bottom of the page, which read, "You will never be forgotten, and I am so incredibly sorry for letting you down."

Her gaze wandered upward, where she saw several columns of script on the page, each bearing a small name. Many were ones she recognized from Alpha, as well as from Stargate Command. Her own name was there, as well as her father's. She unrolled even more, scanning the list without reading every single entry, because doing that would have taken hours -- maybe even days.

The President of the United States was listed, along with all the other world leaders. Figures of modern history, peacemakers, doctors and scientists, educators and artists each had their names on the list. Others she didn't recognize, but the paper kept going as her astonishment increased. She held onto the sides of the scroll and let the ends drop, unrolling all the way, snaking across the floor.

"Who are these people, Daniel?" she asked, frowning up at him. "There must be thousands of names here!"

He stared at the floor for a moment, then turned his misty gaze toward the incinerator and crossed his arms over his ribs. "That's everyone from Earth that I could remember," he told her. "I set up a search parameter and had the ship's database scan all my recorded memories for the names every person I've ever met, weeded out the duplicates and those whose lives I knew would be recorded in history. Some I added back just because… well." He shrugged, unable to express his grief with mere words.

Carolyn gaped, glancing from the lengthy, detailed list to its author and back. "This must've taken…"

"Months of work," he finished for her, nodding. "Yes. But I wanted them to be remembered today."

Scout reached for a length of the paper on the floor and picked it up. "You didn't misunderstand the purpose of Remembrance, el-Dani. This is elegant proof of your grasp of the concept." He patted Daniel on the shoulder. "Are you ready to send your message now?"

Daniel nodded. He helped gather up the long coil of paper and, with the aid of his friends, pitched it into the golden bowl. A long spout of flame-bright light licked upward, and the crowd gasped in awe as it burst into a sparkling cloud.  The dust fanned out quickly over the assembly and settled in a shimmering rain, coating people, clothing, walls, ceiling and floor in glittering ash.

"I have the feeling this isn't going to wipe off easily," Daniel observed, passing a hand over the black leathery sleeve of his new s'resh.

"It will be everywhere for days," Scout assured him, "a beautiful reminder of this ceremony."

He turned toward the exit, leading the others away from the incinerator, making room for more of the crew to deposit their letters to the lost. "When our young ones are away on the Hunt to become adults, wandering the wild lands on the day of Remembrance, they write on leaves and cast them into a fire. We obviously can't do that on Gaia, so we're using the method practiced in the temples of our cities. The paper is specially constructed for this ceremony."

"It's beautiful," Carolyn observed. She gazed down at her glimmering skin and noticed that the cloud was thinning as they moved toward the door. The ventilation system would carry the ash all over the ship. "Is this stuff safe to breathe?"

"Of course," Scout told her. "The ash causes a mild euphoria and sense of well-being, but it's harmless."

"I hope there aren't any emergencies before this stuff wears off, then."

"If so, the effects will be nullified by the body's reactive chemistry. No worries, Doctor. We are quite safe." He smiled at her. "I hope you enjoyed your first Remembrance, and that it will bring you a little peace." Then he patted Daniel on the shoulder. "And you especially, my friend."

"Fond Remembrance," said Daniel, glancing up at the elder, then turning his pensive gaze back to the floor as they made their way through the crowd.

Carolyn watched as the group split up to go their separate ways, scattering down the corridors, but before Daniel ambled out of sight, she called to him.

His head came up as he turned to face her. "Yes?"

"I know it's not exactly…" She stopped herself.

Way to go, Carolyn. Remind him of how miserable he is, and on this day of all days.

Remembrance was an interesting observance, sure, but she and Daniel were human beings, damn it! They had their own customs and traditions, and she didn't want that to be forgotten.

"I just..."

She couldn't get the words out, but someone needed to say them. There had been no card, no gifts or tree, no reminders of any kind, and she felt the loss keenly. She lifted her chin and squared her shoulders, but just then, Daniel smiled at her.

As if sensing her need, he said softly, "Merry Christmas, Carolyn."

The wall inside her came down and she felt herself relaxing for the first time since she'd arrived on the ship. She grinned back. "Merry Christmas, Daniel. Thank you."

He just nodded, a trace of sadness lingering in his eyes, then turned and continued down the corridor, disappearing into the crowd.

"God bless us, every one," she murmured to herself, quoting Dickens’ Tiny Tim as she headed back to the infirmary for more study. Everywhere she looked, the ship and people had taken on a faint sheen of gold, giving it an almost magical appearance, something right out of a fairy tale.

A couple of Sky Clan people flew by, turning in mid-air as they called to her, "Merry Christmas, Doctor Lam."  There it was, the phrase she'd been missing all day, echoing up and down the hall on the lips of the Furlings.

"Fond Remembrance," she returned.

It almost made her feel at home.

End Chapter 20

Merry Christmas to all

from Lady Grey and Jude
 

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