14 October

Three Days Later

“Carry the one…” Jack murmured aloud as he mentally tabulated the figures on the budget report before him. He always did the first two tallies in his head before triple checking with a calculator, just for the mental exercise.

A lot of what he had to do in his new job was boring as hell, but it brought a fat pay check and much-needed administrative assistance to General Hammond, and Jack knew the man had enough headaches to deal with these days. It also kept Jack apprised of how things were going with the stargate program, so he wouldn’t be totally in the dark about developments off world. And there was always the excitement of working with the trainees, teaching new groups of snot-nosed kids what it meant to think outside the Earth-bound box.

He finished the tabulation and picked up his water bottle for a drink just as the klaxons went off, announcing an incoming wormhole. Jack quelled the instinctive reaction to run to the gate room and see what was happening. He wasn’t part of that anymore, and if they needed him for anything, the people in the control room knew where to find him.

The phone rang a moment later.  He reached for it as he closed the folder on the budget report.

“O’Neill.”

Hammond’s voice was carefully modulated. “Colonel, your presence is requested in the gate room.” There was a note of stress in that formal address that brought Jack to his feet instantly.

“Be right there, sir.” He hung up the phone and left his office at a jog, moving down the long corridor toward the elevator. He glanced into Daniel’s office as he passed and saw his lover hard at it, lights low, lamp on his desk burning, head bent over books and papers while his pen scrawled across a notepad in front of him. He paused in the doorway and gave a soft knock, just enough to make Daniel look up. Jack flashed him a smile filled with love, which Daniel returned. 

“Something going on?” he asked, sitting up straighter in his chair.

“Hammond wants me downstairs,” Jack told him quickly. “I’ll let you know what’s up when I find out.” He winked, gave Daniel a small wave, and headed on his way to the elevator.

The sight of Daniel always brought Jack an instant of peace, and he carried that with him down to the 28^th floor. The elevator doors slid open and he stepped out into the corridor, which was rapidly filling with people in simple homespun clothes, mixed in with SGC personnel in white lab coats – the emergency medical staff. Tension rose inside Jack as he recognized the faces of some of the aliens exiting the gate room.

They were Edorans.

Janet Fraiser pushed past him and hurried into the gate room, her face composed and professional.

Jack saw that many of the Edorans were dirty. Some were bleeding, holding broken arms close to their bodies or limping on makeshift crutches. Fear inched up inside him, squeezing his stomach. He searched among the Edoran faces for those who’d been closest to him while he’d been marooned on their world so many years back, but far too many were missing.

He looked for a woman with curly honey-brown hair but didn’t see her, not even when he stepped inside the gate room.

“Laira!” he called, standing on tiptoes to look over the heads of the milling crowd, vaguely aware of the gate shutting down after the last of the refugees came through it. “Laira!”

“Jack!” called a raspy male voice. “Thank the ancestors! We have found you.”

Whirling around at the summons, Jack made eye contact with Paynan, the gruff old man who had reluctantly befriended him during his stay on Edora.

Paynan stood off to one side, holding a small child in his arms. There were tears streaming down his filthy face and a ragged cut on his scalp, crusted over with dried blood. The little girl he was holding wasn’t moving, just lying limply across his shoulder, her eyes wide open and staring.

Jack rushed over to his friend. “Paynan, what happened?”

The old man shook his head. “We do not know. Your people, the miners who stayed among us, they called it ‘earthquake.’ Our village is gone, Jack. Gone. Swallowed up in a great cleft in the ground.” He began to weep openly, his whole body shaking with grief. “Laira is gone with our village, my friend. I am truly sorry, for I know you were close to her.”

With a sinking feeling, Jack went to the old man and put his arm around Paynan’s shoulders. “Here, let me take her,” he suggested, reaching for the little girl. Jack transferred her to his embrace without really looking at her, and she didn’t protest. He hugged Paynan, rubbed his back, oblivious to the sweat, blood and grime. “Garan?” he asked. “Natha?”

Paynan shook his head. “They and their two children are dead. All so young. So many of us, Jack. All gone.” He gestured to the few dozen people spilling out of the gate room into the corridor beyond. “We are all that is left of Edora. The ground… it just… took everything. Our world no longer wants us, my friend. So we have come here. You will know where we should go now, yes?”

Jack could see the shock, disbelief and enormous grief in the old man’s eyes, mixed with trust and a faint glimmer of hope. Jack’s own mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what had happened. “We’ll send rescue parties, Paynan. Medical teams. We might find more survivors.”

With a sigh, the old man just slumped over, head and arms hanging in utter defeat. “We have already saved all who were left. The miners, they helped us dig out those who still lived, and to bury the others. Your people will be coming soon. The mines were not affected. Just our village. Edora is no more.”

Janet Fraiser appeared with her penlight, shining it into Paynan’s eyes, checking the cut on his head, asking him questions.

Jack turned away, looking at the Edorans, remembering those who had been his closer friends during his stay there. Only a few were in that number. His heart squeezed up inside him.

Laira was dead, along with her son, Garan, his young wife, Natha, and the children they’d had together in the four years Jack had been gone. He assumed they’d married, since they’d had a family together. He wished he’d been able to see them with their little ones, but just the thought of it now was painful, knowing they had died so young, and that Paynan had seen it with his own eyes. He’d probably helped pull the bodies out of the debris and bury them.

Jack started to turn back to Paynan, but Janet told him to stand still while she examined the child in his arms. His attention fixed on the little girl for a moment, felt her regular breathing, the dead weight of her against his body. She was filthy, her curly hair matted and streaks of grime cut with tear tracks across her cheeks. Her clothes were caked with dirt, and her bare arms and legs were an even brown, just the color of the Edoran soil.

He reached up and put his free hand on her back, gently rubbing her, offering what comfort he could, leaning his head against hers, not caring how dirty she was or how funky she smelled. Her hair was just past shoulder length, honey-brown and curly under the dirt, and it tickled his nose and chin.

“There doesn’t appear to be any physical injury,” Janet stated. “She just looks like she’s in shock.”

“She is,” agreed Paynan. “The child watched her mother die in the ruins of her home. She was still sitting with the body, holding her dead mother’s hand, when we dug her out a little while ago. She has not spoken since.”

Jack’s guts wrenched as he imagined the child’s suffering. His voice was deep and soft as he spoke. “Oh, God. Poor baby.” Jack felt Janet’s hand patting his shoulder, and he turned around to face the old man, still rubbing the child’s back, trying to cuddle her closer.

Paynan’s brown eyes were brimming with tears, burning a hole in Jack’s. The Edoran suddenly looked much older, the lines in his face deepening into a grimace of terrible, unbearable grief.

“I am sorry, Jack,” he said, sniffing. “Laira was a proud woman. She chose to keep the child to herself and bade us all not tell you about her, should you return.” His gaze dropped to the floor. “It is both blessing and curse that you did not, for now you must take up your role as father and raise your daughter in your world. She has no one else.”

Jack stopped moving. For a moment, he couldn’t even think. Couldn’t breathe. His heart was suddenly in his throat. His eyes locked on the old man’s face, trying desperately to process, to deny, but his mind was a jumble, and he couldn’t quite make sense of what he’d just heard. 

Daughter.

Paynan had said this child was Jack’s daughter.

Laira had never told him, never sent word, because she had to have known it would bring him back against his will to live in her world, in a life he didn’t want, with a woman he cared for and admired, but didn’t love.

The smell of the child was strong in his nostrils, unpleasant with sweat and dirt and dried urine, but underneath it was something familiar, something that smelled like…

Laira, and her home.

Paynan’s watery eyes shifted to the child in Jack’s arms. He reached out and patted her back, lifted his chin and made eye contact with Jack again. “Yes, Jack. She is your child, and Laira’s.  Her name is Jakaira.” Then he moved away, following the rest of his people out into the corridor, leaving Jack alone with Janet… and his daughter.

Janet moved around in front of Jack and looked up into his face.  She smiled, her eyes filled with compassion, understanding instantly what a shock this was to Jack.  “She could probably use a bath, maybe something to eat,” Janet prompted gently, her eyes warm and sad as she looked up at him. “I know this is hard, Jack, but you need to shake it off and concentrate on her for the moment. The rest will sort itself out later.”

He took a deep breath. After a moment, coherent thought engaged, the trained military tool adjusting to circumstances and selecting options. He nodded and hugged the child tighter for a moment, his large hand protectively splayed across her small back. “Of course. And a thorough medical exam,” he said softly. “She’ll need that, too, right?”

Janet nodded. “Along with catching her up on vaccines. This is her world now, and she’ll need to be able to live safely in it.” She gave Jack a hopeful smile. “Take her to the infirmary and one of the nurses will help you get her cleaned up. Then why don’t you take her to the commissary for something to eat, and see if you can get her to talk to you? We’ll do the rest when she’s had a little time to adjust.”

Jack nodded numbly.

Daniel.

“Will you… call Daniel and ask him to meet me in the infirmary?”

She shook her head, her eyes solemn but kind. “I’ve got my hands full at the moment, Jack. Why don’t you ask one of the nurses to do that for you, or just go by his office for a few minutes? We’re not in a big hurry here. She’s home now.” Janet patted the child’s back and walked away, following the crowd out of the gate room.

Jack looked up into the control booth and watched Sergeant Davis give him a grim nod, but the general was nowhere to be seen. He turned and started to follow the Edorans and the medical staff out into the hallway, almost bumping into Hammond as he stepped through the gate room door. From the look in George’s eyes, Jack knew he’d heard everything.

“Take whatever time you need, Jack,” Hammond assured him, patting his shoulder. “Anything any of us can do to help, just let us know.” The general’s blue eyes shifted to the child on his shoulder. He smoothed an errant lock of her hair back into the rest of her wild, dirty mane. He smiled. “Welcome home, Jakaira. I’m sure you’ll be very happy here, now that your daddy has you with him.”

A chubby arm moved, and then the other. The little girl moved back in Jack’s embrace, both hands pressed against his chest, so she could look her father in the eye. For a long time, she just stared. 

Jack’s eyes roved over her face hungrily. Jakaira was the image of him. She had his intense brown eyes, his thin lips, his long face and slightly cleft chin. There was very little of her mother in her, except for the color and curl of her hair. He wondered if she had his dimples, and ached to see her smile.

His heart shattered in his chest, sharp-edged shards of joy cutting his insides to ribbons. He smiled at her, his eyes filling with tears that ran freely down his face. He lifted one hand to touch her cheek in abject wonder, laughter bubbling up inside him to spill out of his mouth in sobbing little gasps.

“Oh, God, she looks just like me,” he keened softly.

“Yes, she does, Jack,” said George gently. “She’s beautiful.” 

Jack wrapped his large hand around the back of her little head and pulled her close, kissing her dirty cheek and nestling her head against his face. He wept openly, thanking God in the privacy of his soul for this blessing, unable to quite believe it was real.

He had a child! He was a father again, and tragedy had brought her to him, just as tragedy had taken Charlie from him. Jakaira was damaged now, and would need his help and his love if she were to recover.

“I love you, baby,” he whispered into her hair, swaying with her in his arms. “Daddy loves you, and you’re safe with me now. I’ll keep you safe, I promise. I promise.” 

A hand at his back pushed him gently down the corridor toward the elevator. Hammond walked at his side and pressed the button for him while Jack stood and rocked and cuddled his baby girl. His daughter, Jakaira.

He thought about Laira as he stepped into the car and nodded his goodbye to the general. He’d slept with her thinking he would be marooned on her world for the rest of his life, and the very next day, he’d deserted her. She’d gotten her wish to bear a child of his blood, and had never told him. Perhaps, if he’d gone back, if he’d kept his word, she might have.

But then, if he’d kept his word, he would have known. He would have seen her rounded belly with his own eyes and understood. Only he’d never gone back. He’d broken his promise, because some part of him had known the possibility was there for a child. And he’d left her behind, never looking back in the four years that had gone under the bridge, because that wasn’t a life he wanted.

The doors slid closed and for a moment his finger hovered above the button for level 21, the infirmary level. Instead, he pushed 18. He had to tell Daniel, had to show Jakaira to him, had to give him time to make his own decisions about what this meant. Jack had the responsibility of raising Jakaira, and he wouldn’t abandon her to the care of anyone else.

Daniel, however, wasn’t bound by the same ties. Jack was afraid he wouldn’t want the burden of a child in their home, especially one that wasn’t his own. If that were the case, he wouldn’t ask the man he loved to stay with him. It wouldn’t be fair; but then, nobody had a heart as big as Daniel, and Jack was hopeful he’d be okay with it. 

Jack stepped into Daniel’s office and closed the door behind him. He turned around to see Daniel sitting at his desk, his head lifted, pen being laid aside. There was concern on his face as he caught sight of what Jack had brought with him. 

“Edora,” said Jack hesitantly, answering the unspoken question in those worried blue eyes shifting between him and the bedraggled child in his arms. “An earthquake. Bad one.”

Daniel’s gaze shifted to the child whose face he couldn’t see, then back to Jack. “How many survivors?”

“Not many,” Jack answered, his throat tight. “Laira…” He shook his head. He couldn’t say the words. His throat had closed up.

Daniel stood. He reached for his cane and came out from behind his desk. “I’m sorry, Jack. Are they in the infirmary?”

Jack nodded, swallowing hard, shifting his grief aside to give necessary information. “For now. I’ll be going there in a minute, but I wanted you to know.” He cuddled Jakaira closer. “Daniel, this is… my daughter, Jakaira. Mine and Laira’s.”

At Jack’s words, Jakaira twisted around a bit, turning solemn eyes on this new stranger. 

Color leached quickly from Daniel’s face. His eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped slowly open. He turned his gaze to the little girl and stared at her for a moment.

“She’s yours, Jack?”  Daniel swallowed hard and then stepped a little closer.  He slowly reached out a hand and brushed one of Jakaira’s little hands with one finger, as if to verify the reality of her presence.  “She’s beautiful,” he whispered.  “Just like her mom.”  He glanced at Jack’s worried face.  “She looks just like you, Jack.” 

She moved her hand away as she turned to hide her eyes in her father’s shoulder again.

Daniel’s face took on a determined set. Behind those burning blue eyes a decision was made and chiselled into stone. “Are there any other children who need homes?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion, eyes radiant behind his glasses. “We’ll take them, too.”

“Oh, Daniel. I love you so much!” Jack was never more fiercely proud of his partner than at that moment. He reached out with his free arm and Daniel stepped fully into his embrace, pressing his face close to Jakaira, kissing her shoulder, patting her gently.

“Let’s go find out. But first…”  Jack turned around so that he had his back to Daniel, while Jakaira would be able to see him as she peered over Jack’s shoulder.

“Jakaira, I want you to meet someone very special to me. His name is Daniel,” said Jack gently.

She lifted her head again, and Daniel smiled and waved at her. “Hi, Jakaira,” he returned. “Your daddy and I live together, and we love each other very much, just like we do you. We’re glad you’ve come to live with us.”

“Yes, we are,” Jack added emphatically, patting her back. “Jakaira, can Daniel be your daddy, too?”

“I’d like that,” Daniel told her. “I’d like that very much.”

Jakaira didn’t answer, just continued to stare at him with those Jack O’Neill eyes that saw everything and took it all in.

Daniel came closer, his movements slow and graceful, and stroked her grimy cheek with his fingertips. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “I know all this is scary and very different from your home on Edora, but I promise you’ll feel better soon. We’ll get you clean and feed you, and then you can take a nap, and we’ll both be right there with you the whole time. Okay?”

She nodded, a little weary sigh slipping out of her.

Daniel shut down his office and turned the lights off for the rest of the day, his work done for the time being while he helped take care of their family.  The two men walked toward the elevator together, both of them petting and talking quietly to the little girl in her father’s arms, doing their best to make her feel loved and wanted, and at home. 

Daniel watched the freshly bathed child in Jack’s lap, her bright, intelligent eyes moving all around the noisy commissary, watching everyone, missing no detail. Daniel could see so much of Jack in her, but she was so weighted down by her grief that she was obviously having a difficult time dealing. She mindlessly munched on the buttered bread in her hand, looking around at her strange new world, and Daniel’s heart ached for her. 

He knew exactly how she felt.

Memories of his own childhood surfaced, but this time, instead of being pushed back into the dark corners of his mind, he stepped into them, trying to remember his thoughts and fears immediately after losing his parents, when he’d been thrust into the alien world of foster care. All of that came rushing back as if it had happened yesterday, fresh and raw, gleaming in Jakaira’s brown eyes.

“Jack,” he said softly, “put your arms around her. Hold her gently. Just being in your lap isn’t enough.”

He watched Jack do as he’d asked and saw the relief in Jakaira’s face. She leaned back against Jack’s chest, resting now as she ate, but she didn’t look at Daniel except to glance at him in passing.

He needed to fix that. He needed to let her know that he understood what she was feeling, even though he was a grown-up. For that, he would have to talk to her.

“Jakaira,” he called quietly.

She looked at him, then back down at her plate. She tugged distractedly at the neck of the oversized black T-shirt that Jack had given her to wear after her bath, since there were no child-sized clothes available on the base. 

Daniel’s voice was soft and warm. “When I was a little boy, something happened to me, just like what happened to you, so I know how you feel.  My mommy died real suddenly, too, when I was just a little older than you are now.” 

This time, her eyes moved directly to his face and stayed there. She stopped chewing and just stared at him. Jack had one of his big hands wrapped around her belly, the other moving up and down her arm, petting her gently. He bent down and gave her a kiss on top of her head, and Jakaira’s face relaxed a little more. That was just what she needed, to feel that she was loved, protected, understood, and safe.

“I’m so sorry about your mommy,” Daniel told her honestly, unable to stop the tears gathering in his eyes. He blinked them away. “I know you feel scared and lonely and lost, but you’re not lost. You’re with your daddy, Jack O’Neill.” He pointed over her shoulder, indicating Jack, who kissed her hair again.  Daniel tried to smile a little. “I know your mother told you about him, didn’t she?”

Jakaira swallowed. She looked down at her plate, then back up at Daniel. She put her food down and moved her hands to her lap below the table. Then she nodded, her slightly damp blonde curls bouncing.

“Your mother wanted your father to take care of you, so that’s why you’re here,” he explained patiently. “This is a whole new world, different from Edora. Do you understand that?”

She shook her head.

“Well, it is. Soon your father and I will be taking you to our home. You’ll see wonderful new things like cars, trucks, and airplanes. Those are machines we use to take us places really fast.” He smiled. “And when we get to our house, you’ll see a small box with moving pictures that talk. It’s called a television, or TV for short, and it’s lots of fun. It tells us stories and brings us news from far away places, and teaches us about things we don’t know. Do you think you’ll like that?”

“Daniel, is all this really necessary?” asked Jack uncertainly. “You might be scaring her.”

Raising his eyes to his lover, Daniel shook his head. “We’ve been to Edora, Jack. We’ve seen what it’s like there. If we take her out to the truck and put her in it without explanation, that’s what will scare her. Hearing about it now will make it easier. There’s a lot we have to teach her, and doing it this way will help soften the blow. Trust me on this, okay?”

Jack nodded. “I do, vidámo.” He reached up to touch the little girl’s soft, clean hair in wonder.

Daniel turned his gaze back to Jakaira, who was still studying him. He smiled at her again and wondered what she was thinking. He crossed his arms on the table and leaned his chin on them, bending down so he could look her in the eye. “There are a lot of people here, aren’t there?” he asked.

She glanced around the commissary and nodded. She stuffed the last of the buttered bread into her mouth, took a big drink of milk and turned around on Jack’s lap, swinging her legs off over his thighs. She seemed to be looking for something, so Daniel asked her about that.

Jakaira didn’t answer.

“What do you need, baby?” asked Jack, leaning over to make eye contact.

Her little face screwed up, her need obvious, slowly building up into panic.

“Tell me what you need, honey,” Jack prompted again.

Jakaira’s eyes filled with tears.  She slipped down off his lap, reaching up to clutch his hand, her eyes moving all around the room, seeking but not finding.

“Um, Jack…” Daniel stood up, watching her body language, the way she squeezed her legs together and wriggled. “It occurs to me that I have no idea how the Edorans referred to going to the bathroom. Do you know?”

Jack cleared his throat. “Make waste,” he said quietly.

“Makes sense,” Daniel said, turning his gaze back to Jakaira. “Do you need to make waste, Jakaira?”

Her blonde head bobbed emphatically.

Daniel glanced up at Jack, reached down and took her hand and started to lead the way out of the commissary. “We call it going to the bathroom,” he informed her conversationally. “Or going potty. That’s what parents teach their children to say here. Can you say that, Jakaira?”

She seemed to ignore him, her eyes darting to and fro, looking for the familiar outdoor toilet facilities that her people had on Edora, and not finding one. Daniel knew that had to be upsetting her, but he couldn’t help that. She’d just have to learn about the wonder of modern toilet facilities when she saw one.

“Take her into one of the men’s rooms with stalls,” Daniel suggested. “She may be a girl, but you’re her father, and you’ve got to do this.”

Jack’s walked with them out the double doors and down the corridor until their destination registered.  Jack’s face flushed crimson. “I can’t take her into the men’s room.  She’s a girl!”

His glance fell on the child, now starting to dance as she walked, her legs drawn together from the knees up. “Now, Jack, unless you want to clean up an accident.”

“Oh, fer cryin’ out loud!” he groused. “You come, too, then.”

“What do I need to come for?” Daniel stopped outside the restroom door.

“Because I said so, now move your tight a—“ Jack coughed, suddenly aware of his little audience. “Move your butt, Jackson. You get to run interference and chase all the men out of there. And when you’re done, you can help me figure out what to do with her.”

“Do with her?  I don’t know anything about kids,” Daniel argued, aware of the heat rising in his face as he pushed through the restroom door. “Especially little girls.”

Picking up Jakaira, Jack settled her in his arms, covering her eyes with his hand as they entered the men’s room. “You seem to be doing just fine with this one,” Jack returned irritably, glancing around for an open stall door. “Now, let’s get this over with, shall we?”

An hour later, Daniel was on his way to their house to put fresh sheets on the guest room bed. When Jack arrived with his daughter a little while later, they put their heads together and made a list of all the things they’d need for a little girl, then realised neither of them were equipped to know what all a little girl required.  They’d bought the necessities for overnight and a few days after, but for wardrobe help and other sundries, they’d need a professional, someone who knew the territory.

That prompted a telephone call to Sam, who arranged to take the afternoon off and promised to bring Cassie along as soon as she got out of school. Had Janet not been tied up with the Edoran refugees, she’d have been right there with them.

Jack and Daniel were still making lists, examining the guest room and planning ahead when the two women arrived. Cassie greeted them with hugs and kisses, and then squatted down to be eye level with the child. She smiled and gave a little wave.

“Hi, there. My name is Cassie Fraiser, and I’m from another world, just like you are,” she said gently. “And I promise, you’re going to love it here. It’s hard to get used to, sometimes, at first anyway, but there’s so much fun stuff to do and see, you won’t mind the yucky stuff.” She made a face and stuck out her tongue, trying to tease a grin from the little girl.

Jakaira just stared at her. She turned big eyes up to Sam and reached up with one hand.

Sam bent down to her, and Jakaira touched her hair in wonder.

“Hi, Jakaira. I’m Samantha Carter. You can call me Auntie Sam, if you want.”

The little girl drew away, ignoring her words, and padded over to the living room window, looking out at the colorful garden.

Sam looked disappointed as she straightened.

”Give her time, Sam,” Jack advised.

With a slow, serious nod, Sam took a seat on the sofa with Daniel, while Cassie and Jack took the chairs, and then the new team began planning for Jakaira’s transition to living on Earth.

After a few minutes of initial discussion and accompanying list-making, Sam took Jack shopping while Cassie and Daniel introduced the child to books, music and the wonders of television. Jakaira wouldn’t let Daniel out of her sight except when he had to go to the bathroom, and even then she stood outside the door, knocking on it and trying the doorknob until he finished.

As the day went on, he did his best to explain everything to her, anything he touched that he knew was different from her homeworld. The refrigerator fascinated her, and she spent several minutes opening and closing the door, feeling the radiating cold and then shutting it up inside the mysterious machine.

He made sandwiches, simple fare like they had eaten on Edora, wondering aloud to Cassie if Jakaira would ever learn to enjoy the typical American child’s fare, like pizza and hot dogs.

Since Cassie was an alien herself, she gave him some valuable input on that as they ate dinner, and helped Daniel plan the introduction of new foods and other experiences. Jakaira just watched them and listened, making no attempt to offer opinions of her own.

Just as they got through eating, Jack and Sam returned from the various stores, their arms loaded with boxes and bags.  They began unpacking all of Jakaira’s new things into her room, putting her clothes into the closet and bureau, showing her the toys they’d selected and making her the center of attention until she began to yawn and lean against things wearily.

The ladies took their leave with fond thanks from the new fathers, and Jack and Daniel escorted Jakaira to her newly outfitted room to tuck her into bed.

Jack took Jakaira into the tiny guest bathroom and set her on the counter to brush her teeth, relating to Daniel how he used to do the same thing with Charlie when he was that age. Then he took Jakaira back to her bedroom and read her a story that Sam had picked out.  Before he finished it, she was sound asleep against his chest. Carefully, he arranged her on the sheets and covered her up with a kiss on her hair.

He got off the bed and stood gazing down at her, while Daniel watched from his post in the rocking chair nearby. When Jack left the room, Daniel was right behind him.

Out in the hallway, Jack turned around and put a hand on Daniel’s waist. “You go on to bed, babe. I’ll be there in a minute. I bought some nightlights, and I just need to put ‘em in the sockets so Jay can find her way through the house in the dark.” He kissed Daniel lightly on the lips and disappeared down the hallway toward the living room.

Daniel went into their room and prepared for bed, slipping beneath the cool sheets. He clasped his hands behind his head and thought about all the day had brought them. This was a life-altering event, and it would undoubtedly change a great many things in the way they moved through their days… and their nights. Daniel had never been a parent before, so he was clueless about what they could and couldn’t do, even in the privacy of their own home. Jack would have to guide him in that.

He watched his lover come into their room and disappear into the bathroom for a few minutes, and then, as Jack started to undress, he went over to the bedroom door and closed it. Then he turned the lock. He took off his pants and underwear and tossed them into the bathroom hamper, then came to bed naked.

“I was wondering how this might affect our love life,” Daniel murmured as Jack got into bed and pounced on him, the bed bouncing for a moment.

Jack gave a little growl, delight in his eyes as he looked down at his naked lover.

“Takes all the spontaneity out of it, for one thing,” Jack told him, reaching down to nip Daniel’s nipple and draw a gasp of pleasure from him. “Gotta remember to lock the bedroom door before we do anything.” He started to suckle that nipple, his fingers dancing lightly over Daniel’s smooth belly and moving steadily lower.

“And unlock it when we’re done,” Daniel added before his mind stopped working. “Mmmm…”

Jack lifted his head and stopped moving. “Oh?”

Daniel could see Jack’s eyebrows rising. “Well, yeah. If she wakes up in a strange place, she’s going to need access to you right away. Which also means if she wakes up, and we’re in the middle of doing each other, Jakaira gets priority. Okay?”

Daniel felt Jack’s hand smooth firmly down his belly to take possession of his rising cock, making him shut up, all coherent thought suddenly gone.

“Okay.  We’ll talk about it later,” Jack whispered as he used his hand to slowly pump him.   “Love you, Daniel.”

“Jack.” Daniel reached up and embraced him, bringing him down into a kiss that set Daniel on fire.

Jack was a father again, and Daniel found that incredibly sexy. He would get to see a whole other facet of the man he loved. There was still so much Jack kept shuttered in the depths of his soul, things he never talked about, and fatherhood was one of those things. Charlie was a painful subject, but having Jakaira with them would revive that again in all its pain and joy. He would see Jack being tender and playful with his child, and that would be a beautiful thing, indeed.

Daniel imagined it, visualising Jack taking her to the park, teaching her to ride a bicycle and play hockey. Emotion rose and spilled over inside him, and he clutched at Jack, wrestling with him for dominance, pushing him back against the bed.

He nipped and clawed his way down Jack’s body, devouring his cock like a starving man. He heard Jack whispering his name, begging for him to slow down, take it easy, but Daniel was beyond restraint now.

Jack’s hands were in Daniel’s long hair, trying to hold him back yet not hurt him. He groaned and arched his back off the bed, gasping with pleasure. Daniel ran his right hand over Jack’s belly and thighs, cupping and squeezing his balls, knowing exactly how Jack liked to be touched and doing it all. By now Jack should be moaning loudly, but he was only making soft, smothered grunts, keeping quiet to avoid waking Jakaira.

Using a prearranged signal, Daniel tapped Jack on the thigh and a moment later the tube of lube dropped onto the bed between Jack’s legs. Daniel grabbed it, flipped the cap open with one hand and then let Jack’s glistening dick slide out of his mouth. Breathing hard, he balanced on his left elbow, shook his hair back out of his eyes, transferred the tube to his left hand and squeezed some of the clear gel onto his right fingertips. He closed the cap on the tube and dropped it beside Jack’s thigh, then leaned back over his lover’s body, nibbling along the length of his straining cock.

“Love you, Jack,” he breathed against that hot, slick flesh. A nudge of his right hand made Jack bend his left leg and Daniel pushed his slippery fingers into Jack’s ass to the sound of a ragged gasp of pleasure. Daniel placed a row of wet, sensual kisses along the length of Jack’s throbbing erection, listening for the wonderful grunts and gasps that came from his passionate attention.

Hungrily, Daniel swallowed Jack whole, relaxing his throat while his fingers probed, seeking and finding Jack’s prostate. Daniel rubbed it while he sucked and licked his love’s cock, sensing Jack’s control gradually vanishing.

Jack arched his head back, eyes closed in bliss, one hand threaded through Daniel’s hair and the other clutching at the sheets at his side.  “Need to come,” he moaned in a soft voice.  “Please, Danny,” he added helplessly. 

Daniel hummed in agreement, his fingers plunging deeper, adding a third and then a fourth, stretching him wide. Daniel matched the rhythm of his mouth to that of his fingers, deepening his thrusts until Jack lay helplessly clutching at him, his body rigid, almost there.

“Daniel!” he gasped in a desperate whisper. “Oh, God!”

Jack’s hips thrust him fiercely down Daniel’s throat, almost choking him. Jack curled up, his head and shoulders coming up off the bed as he came, eyes wide open and staring at the sight of his lover’s mouth around his cock.  He poured sweet fire into Daniel’s mouth, his ass clenching in spasms around Daniel’s fingers. He flopped back against the bed as the pulses began to ebb and Daniel held his head still, using just his tongue to swirl around the sensitive head of Jack’s cock. His fingers still stroked Jack’s prostate, and he was rewarded with a startled gasp and twitch as another strong wave of pleasure shot through his lover’s dick.

“Jesus, Daniel,” Jack panted in a whisper. “I came already. You can’t possibly want more.”  He chuckled hoarsely. 

Sucking off and swallowing the last drops of come, Daniel finally let go of Jack’s softening cock, withdrew his fingers and slithered up beside his lover. “Of course, I want more,” he rumbled huskily, nibbling on Jack’s shoulder. “What are you in the mood for tonight?”

With a soft, breathless little laugh, Jack sighed, “You gotta ask?” He turned his head, struggling to pry open his eyes and focus on the man hovering above him. With a groan, he rolled slowly over onto his left side, putting his back to Daniel, who sat up and groped in the bed for the lube.

He slicked himself up and pushed into Jack hard and fast, holding onto his hip and pulling Jack back against him.

Jack swore again, his eyes closed, head thrown back as this new pleasure pulled him back under its hypnotic current.

Daniel devoured him with his eyes, memorising all the wonderful bulges of firm muscle, the forest of curly silver hair covering Jack’s chest, belly and groin. He took in all the scars and the evidence of his slow advance into late middle age and saw only beauty. The way Jack moved against him, the additional little twitches of his cock as Daniel thrust into him, the softly sensual moans he made, all evidence that Jack loved what Daniel was doing, how he was touching him. Jack was giving himself up to Daniel, giving all of himself, and to Daniel, as always, there was nothing more arousing than that total surrender.

The tight, wet heat of Jack’s body surrounding him was bliss itself. Daniel wanted this to last all night, but he was already getting close, pressure building in his balls, focus narrowing to his cock. He let go of Jack’s hip and plastered himself against Jack’s back, holding Jack hard against him with one hand flat against his chest. He could feel Jack’s heart pounding against his palm and closed his eyes, curling over Jack’s shoulder.

“Fuck me, Danny,” Jack rasped softly. “Wanna feel you come.” Jack’s hand covered Daniel’s, squeezing. “That’s it, just like that.  Love you. God! Love you so much…”

Daniel’s whole body seized up.  With a startled cry of pleasure, he jerked against Jack’s ass as he came, the pulses radiating out all through him, dissolving his bones, stealing his breath and his mind, leaving nothing in its wake but his fiercely beating heart. His head fell forward, resting his forehead against Jack’s shoulder.

It took several moments before Daniel could open his eyes, lifting his head so he could look at his lover. He was still embedded in Jack, who had turned his head on the pillow and was eyeing him over his shoulder. His dark eyes were black and heavy lidded, sparkling with peace and satisfaction, the slightest little smile playing around his lips.

“Have I told you lately how damn good you are in bed?” he asked softly, that smile dawning bright and beautiful on his face. His smile faded. “Or how much I need you?

Instantly Daniel felt his heart swell. “Almost every night, Jack,” Daniel reminded him as he sank down behind him onto the same pillow, brushing his tangled mane out of his eyes with an impatient swipe of his fingers. He placed a small kiss on the nape of Jack’s neck. “But I never get tired of hearing it.”

Jack lifted Daniel’s hand and kissed his palm, gently, sweetly, returning it to his chest, and dropped his head against the pillow with a sigh. He held Daniel’s hand against his sweaty chest, rubbing his thumb over the back of Daniel’s wrist.

The two men rested together, listening to each other breathe, content and sated.  Daniel kissed Jack’s shoulder and ran his nose along his hairline.  His shrinking cock slipped out of Jack with a small rush of hot semen.  “Love you so much.  We’re gonna be okay, you know.  Everything’s gonna be all right.  As long as we’re together, we’ll be fine. All three of us.” 

Jack tensed in his arms, remembering his little girl, lying asleep in the next room. “I don’t know if I can do this, Daniel,” he murmured. “I screwed up once in the worst way possible, and I don’t know if I could survive—“

“That wasn’t your fault, Jack,” Daniel cut in adamantly. He pushed back a bit and then urged Jack to roll onto his back so they could see each other better.  He propped himself up on his elbow to look down into Jack’s face, smoothing Jack’s damp hair away from his forehead, and looking deep into his eyes in the dim light of the bedside lamp.   “Listen to me. What happened to Charlie was a horrible accident.  It was stupid and tragic, but you didn’t do anything to hurt him on purpose. You would have given your own life for it not to have happened.”  He held Jack’s chin in his hand, looking down at him with every morsel of conviction he could muster.  “And do you honestly think, now that you’ve seen Jakaira, that you could just hand her off to anyone else to raise?”   

Swallowing hard, Jack shook his head, rolling it back and forth against the pillow. “No. I couldn’t do that. She’s mine.”

“Then we’ll find a way,” Daniel assured him fervently. “I know you’re scared, Jack, but your daughter needs you, and I know you want to be there for her.”

“Yeah.” Jack lifted his hand to press his palm against Daniel’s cheek, threading his fingers into Daniel’s wild, sweaty mane and combing it back from his face. Daniel leaned into his touch. “This is different, in every way possible. I have a daughter, Daniel. I don’t know how to raise a daughter. And she’s traumatized by what she’s been through. I know that, and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” Daniel promised. “We’ll get help for her.”  He sat up and looked down at the bed, picking absently at wrinkles in the sheets. “I’ve been in her shoes, so I know something about how she’s feeling. The difference between Jakaira and me is that she has you.  I had no one.  That’s why it’s so important to be there for her if she wakes up, because she’s lost right now, and she knows she’s connected to you. She just doesn’t feel it yet. But she will in time.  Don’t worry.”

Daniel knew Jack was watching him, aware that Jack would understand that Daniel was allowing the memories of his parents’ deaths to come back and fill him up, to shatter him all over again, because he needed that connection to be able to relate to Jakaira. And he knew Jack loved him even more for opening himself up to that pain, for the sake of Jack’s child.

Jack sat up, reaching for him, but Daniel was already moving, getting off the bed and searching for his sweat pants, hurrying because he knew she was coming. Even as exhausted as the child was, her sleep for the first few nights would be broken up by nightmares that would make her relive the terror all over again. He glanced at Jack, just sitting there in the bed, but before he could urge his partner to get dressed, a little knock sounded on the door.

Jack bolted off the bed and had his pants on in a flash, racing for the door. “Just a minute, honey!” he called, hurrying over to jerk open the door. He bent down to pick up his daughter and hold her close.

She was crying, hiccupping silent sobs and holding onto his neck for dear life.

Daniel dutifully fetched T-shirts for both of them while Jack comforted Jakaira, then Daniel stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower.  He took Jack’s place on the bed with her afterward, sitting up beside her and reassuring her while she settled down. In a few minutes, she was fast asleep again, right between their pillows.

Shortly afterward, Jack was showered and dressed again and got into the bed with Daniel and Jakaira.

Once they were both on their pillows and still, Daniel gazed over at Jack, lying with his hand on his daughter’s ribs. In the low light from the bedside lamp, he could see his lover looking back at him over the top of the little girl’s head.  Daniel smiled, his gaze moving from father to daughter, taking note of his stamp on her and how beautiful she was.

“I love you, Daniel,” Jack whispered. “Thank you for accepting her into our lives.”

“Thank you for letting me be part of raising her, Jack,” he returned, his heart filling up with emotion.

“How could you not be?” asked Jack simply. “You’re my other half. The brains of the outfit. And I honestly believe this is just like everything else in my life.  I couldn’t do any of it without you.” 

“You’d find a way,” Daniel assured him, “but thanks for the vote of confidence. Now, let’s all get some sleep. I have the feeling our lives just got a whole lot more complicated on a lot of levels.”

Jack smiled and closed his eyes. “You have no idea. But you’ll be surprised at how easily it all comes to you, too.” 

Daniel didn’t point out that Sara probably did most of the parenting and nurturing while Jack was off God knew where with his Special Ops teams. Now he would be at home most of the time, and they’d be sharing parental duties, but there would be times when it would be just Daniel and Jakaira, and that worried him. He wasn’t a nurturer by nature. He tended to get absorbed in his work and forget about other people. That had ruined his love life more times than he could count, and while children tended to be more forgiving, this would not be an easy thing for Daniel to learn.

For Jack and his child, however, he would put forth the effort and make Jakaira a priority.

Daniel looked at both of them a little longer before turning off the bedside lamp. He sighed and closed his eyes, hoping he could be as good a friend to Jakaira as Jack would be a father. Neither of them were quite prepared for this, but they’d learn because Jakaira needed them.

And whatever she needed, he and Jack would provide. That was what parents did for their children. Daniel’s eyes opened and he looked down at the mop of curly hair illuminated by moonlight coming in through the slats of the window shutters, and the low glow of the nightlights Jack had put in the bathroom, bedroom and hallway. His heart swelled as he realized what that meant.

Not only had Jack been granted a second chance at fatherhood, but Daniel was also getting an opportunity to try it for himself.

Daniel Jackson had just become a father; something he never believed would happen to him.

Tears seeped from his eyes as he closed them. He was exhausted, overwhelmed, but full of hope.  He reached out blindly, trying to hold his emotions inside. His fingertips touched Jack’s knuckles, and he trailed down those long, rough fingers to press lightly against Jakaira’s little chest, moving in and out with the motion of her breathing.  Daniel sighed, content to be touching her… and then Jack’s fingers parted and slipped downward, easing between Daniel’s fingers, holding him and his daughter at the same time.

“Family,” whispered Jack. “That’s what we are now, Daniel. We’re a real family.”

“Yes,” agreed Daniel softly. “We are. I love you, Jack. And I love Jakaira, too, because she’s yours.”

“She’s yours, now, too, you know. I hope you’ll like being a daddy. I think you’ll be great at it.”

Daniel’s throat closed up, keeping him from telling Jack that he was certain he would love it, so he just squeezed Jack’s hand and nodded. He closed his eyes, his fingers still laced with Jack’s around Jakaira’s ribs, and he drifted off to sleep, smiling through his tears of terrified joy. 

**21 October**

One week later

Daniel sat in the waiting room, holding tightly onto Jack’s hand, rubbing his thumb in random patterns over Jack’s knuckles. He glanced at Jack in the chair beside his, back straight, eyes aimed at the door where Jakaira had been taken through almost an hour earlier. He’d barely moved from that position since the child psychologist had taken her away to examine her.

It had been a week since the child had come to live with them, and aside from sobs when she cried, Jakaira hadn’t made a sound or spoken a word, no matter how they’d tried to get her to talk. Janet had done an additional check to rule out any physical causes for her muteness, but found nothing. She’d referred them to a child psychologist at Peterson AFB, and they’d brought her here. The psychologist, Doctor Stella Novotny, had told them she would need to observe Jakaira at play and have her complete some tests before she’d be able to give them any answers, and so they waited, separated from their daughter, both of them tense and worried about what they might hear.

Looking around the room at the other parents, Daniel saw that all of them were male-female couples, and that many of them were staring at the two of them holding hands. This was a military base, and homosexual relationships were unwelcome, but Daniel didn’t care. They were both civilians now and Jack needed him, needed this contact and support, and there was no way Daniel would deny him that for appearance’s sake.

He turned his gaze to Jack’s face and murmured, “S’gonna be okay, Jack. She’s strong, you know, just like her father.”

Daniel could see how worried Jack was. That echoed in Daniel, because both of them knew there was a problem. Jack’s stony expression didn’t change, but without blinking or looking away from the door that led to the treatment and exam rooms, Jack lifted their interlaced fingers to his mouth and kissed Daniel’s knuckles, then set their hands back on the arms of the chairs.

Message received, Daniel knew. But Jack’s concentration was elsewhere, and Daniel waited quietly with him until at last the door opened and the receptionist stepped through with a polite smile.

“Colonel O’Neill, the doctor will see you now.  Would you come with me?” she asked cheerfully.

Daniel let go of him instantly.

Jack stood up and reached for his hand again. “Come on, Daniel,” he urged gently.

“They won’t let me back there, Jack. You’re her father. Go.” Daniel patted his hand and pulled his out of Jack’s grasp.

His expression hardening with anger, Jack muttered, “It’s not fair. We need you.” Then he moved away and followed the woman into the depths of the clinic.

Not five minutes later, she reappeared at the door to call Daniel back, too. There was a trace of disgust in her face that he didn’t miss, but he ignored it. Let them disapprove of same-sex relationships all they wanted. As long as he and Jack had each other and Jakaira, nothing else mattered.

Daniel took his seat next to Jack in front of the doctor’s desk, putting his cane aside as he sat down. Jakaira was not present, so he assumed she must still be in the playroom with some of the staff for this confidential chat with her parents.  He studied the psychologist and her relaxed, open expression. She was young, thirty-something, with short auburn hair and warm brown eyes, and she smiled at him kindly. He reminded her of Janet.

Jack shot the doctor a smug look, then turned to meet Daniel’s inquiring eyes. “I explained to the doc that you’re as much Jay’s dad as I am, and that you have experience we can use to help her. I hope you don’t mind me telling her about your parents.”

With a shake of his head, Daniel answered, “No, of course not. Anything to help Jakaira.”

The psychologist smiled at both of them. “Look, I don’t share the same prejudices a lot of people in the military do, Colonel O’Neill,” she told him. “I think gay and lesbian couples can raise children just as well as single mothers and grandparents and straight couples, so please don’t think my initial reluctance to have Doctor Jackson here with us has anything to do with that. Okay?”

“Thank you,” said Daniel immediately, a wave of relief settling over him.

“Then what’s the problem?” asked Jack.

Doctor Novotny glanced at Daniel before turning her gaze back to Jack. “I think she may not be connecting with you like she needs to, because she’s getting more of what she needs from your partner.”

“But that’s a good thing,” Jack insisted. “As long as she’s getting it, she’ll learn to bond with me eventually. Don’t you think? I mean, she’s only been here with us for a week.”

“Yes, I suppose that’ll evolve in its own in time.” Doctor Novotny glanced down at the drawings on her desk. She was thoughtful for a moment. “She didn’t react to the crayons and paper like any child I’ve ever seen before, though. That was a little surprising.”

“Her mother was foreign and lived in another culture,” Jack supplied instantly. “Simple agrarian society. They didn’t have paper and crayons, or TV or cars or any of that. She’s come to a whole new world here, doc.”

Daniel smiled, knowing how well Jack could dance around the truth. He was good at keeping the government’s secrets, telling the doctor just enough to help her make sense of things, while giving nothing away.

“I gathered that,” she returned quietly. “She’s got a lot of adjustments to make, living in this strange new world with two people she’s never met before, both of whom have suddenly been thrust into the role of parent. I’m sure this hasn’t been easy for you two, either.”

Jack didn’t answer immediately. He turned his gaze down to his lap, his hands clasped lightly together. He made eye contact briefly with Daniel, then looked back at the doctor. “I’ve been a parent before,” he said softly. “My son died in an accident when he was ten. My wife and I divorced soon after his death.”   

“Then you do have something in your past to help you bond with her,” the doctor suggested warmly. “You just have to look for that connection.  Don’t worry or try too hard.  It’ll develop in time, something you haven’t had much of yet.”

She sighed and her expression turned solemn, obviously getting ready to deliver the bad news. “Now, as to her silence, my preliminary diagnosis is hysterical muteness. She isn’t refusing to talk. She simply can’t. She doesn’t remember how.”

Daniel and Jack both looked at her at the same instant.

“This is not always a treatable condition,” she told them, glancing from one face to the other. “Sometimes the mind simply cannot process certain events, and she’s suffered quite a shock. She may, one day, regain her ability to speak. It might happen suddenly, or it might not happen at all. You have to be prepared for either possibility.”

Jack’s swallow was audible. He reached over and laced his fingers together with Daniel’s, holding on for the strength he needed to get through the rest of this ordeal. 

Daniel’s chest tightened as he looked deeply into Jack’s eyes. This was what he’d been expecting, but hearing it said out loud tore him up, and he knew Jack was barely holding himself together, too. He squeezed Jack’s hand, reminding him that they were together, that they would deal with this latest tragedy like the team they still were.

Daniel cleared his throat and, with effort, tore his eyes away from Jack to look at the doctor.  “What about teaching her sign language?” he asked. He knew some rudimentary signs already, some picked up out of curiosity and others from dealing with tribal cultures that used gestures to communicate with other, nearby tribes that spoke different languages. He’d always intended to learn ASL, and now he’d have an excuse.

“That’s an excellent suggestion, Doctor Jackson, which I was going to make to you both,” Doctor Novotny answered. “Jakaira has a lot to learn in her new country. She’ll need some way to communicate her needs, and signing will be an excellent bridge. However, you may find that it will also become a crutch for her. Once she learns signing, she’ll have no need to try to find her voice, and until she does, she’ll always use signing to communicate, because it’s easier than trying to speak. When she’s old enough to read and write, she may have a breakthrough, but as long as she can communicate some other way, she won’t be trying as hard to talk.”

“But if we don’t teach her to sign, she’ll be isolated,” Jack added. “She won’t have any way of telling us what she needs.” He glanced at Daniel, fierce love and determination gleaming in his eyes. “So where do we sign up for classes?” he asked the psychologist.

Doctor Novotny handed him a business card with a name and phone number handwritten on the back. “These people can help you. They have classes the three of you can take together.”

Jack took the card, looked at it, and handed it to Daniel. “So, what else can we do to help her?”

She described a program of therapy disguised as play sessions and gave them some tips on activities they could use to try to prompt her to use her voice. After some additional discussion on the condition and its ramifications, they thanked her and went with her to the playroom to collect their daughter.

Jakaira ran to Daniel, who picked her up, gave her a hug and handed her to Jack. They walked out to their car together, Daniel’s head down in thought, contemplating how they were going to help their wounded, precious daughter, and gearing himself up to learn a whole new language, just for her.

**22 October**

The Next Day

The morning dawned bright and clear, and even though there was the chill of impending autumn in the air, the family decided to have breakfast on the deck rather than indoors.

Daniel closed the patio door behind Jack as he appeared with a platter stacked high with blueberry pancakes and a bowl of freshly hulled strawberries. Daniel hobbled over to his chair, pouring another glass of juice for Jakaira while her father filled her plate, cut up the pancake into bite-sized bits and helped her pour the maple syrup.

Daniel had been on the internet late the previous afternoon, after their session with Doctor Novotny, already looking into websites with information on sign language.  What he’d found had prompted him to go out and buy an ASL CD. He’d stayed up late learning as much as he could so he could get started with her and Jack and help her learn to communicate with them.

 “Jakaira,” he began, drawing her gaze to his face, “we have people here who can’t hear, and because of that, sometimes they have trouble talking,” Daniel explained. “So we have a whole language made up of hand movements, so deaf people can still talk to their families. Here’s the sign for ‘hungry.’”

Daniel cupped his right hand into a ‘C’ formation and brought it up just in front of his collarbones, then pulled it down a little, to simulate food going down the esophagus.

“Hungry,” he repeated. Then he pointed to Jakaira and repeated the sign as he asked, “Are you hungry?”

She nodded emphatically.

He smiled. Closing the fingers of his right hand together as if he were holding something with his fingertips, he gestured toward his mouth. “Eat,” he said, making the motion again as the child picked up her fork, speared a piece of pancake and stuck it into her mouth. “Jakaira is eating.”

She looked down at her plate, then put her empty left hand to her mouth in a copy of the gesture Daniel had made. She nodded, swallowed, and watched him for more.

Daniel glanced up at Jack and saw him smiling slightly, nodding in approval. Daniel flattened out his right hand and touched the tip of his thumb to his forehead, his fingers sticking straight up. “This is the sign for ‘daddy,’ so if you want to talk just to him, do this to tell him, okay?” He wiggled his fingers a little, like a cock’s comb waving in the breeze.

Jakaira copied the sign and turned to make eye contact with Jack while she did it.

A big grin spread from ear to ear as Jack looked back at her. “Yes, baby. I’m your daddy.” He leaned over to kiss her on her syrup-smeared lips.  “You’re her daddy, too, Daniel,” he observed casually. “What do we do about her distinguishing between us? She'll need to at some point, you know.”

Jakaira stuffed another bite of pancake into her mouth and signed, ‘Daddy eat.’ Then she handed a ripe strawberry to Jack, who thanked her for it and stuffed the whole fruit into his mouth, making appropriately delighted noises. Jakaira nodded in approval and turned back to Daniel. She pointed at him and made the sign for ‘daddy’ again.

“I love the idea of that,” Daniel returned with a smile, which faded quickly as he looked at Jack. “But I have no legal standing in her life. Just like at the clinic, the doctor wouldn’t have let me back there unless she knew there were special circumstances. If there were an accident and I was the only one available to take Jakaira to the hospital, I couldn’t sign any kind of releases or even go with her into an exam room.”

Jack’s gaze moved slowly from his child to his partner and lingered there, thinking, calculating. He took a sip of orange juice, thoughtfully swirling it around in his mouth before swallowing. “Then we have to fix that. We’ll get a lawyer and see what we can do to get you legal guardianship or something, so that if anything happens to me, you’ll raise our daughter. And I want to give you access to my bank accounts, make you executor of my will, do everything up all nice and legal so you’re as much a part of my life as our laws will let you be.” His smile widened as he added, “Including sharing your name. How does Jack O’Neill-Jackson sound to you? Are you okay with that, vidámo?” 

The morsel of food that Daniel had just swallowed while Jack was talking got stuck halfway down his throat, constricted now with emotion. He couldn’t take his eyes off Jack’s expectant face, and just nodded, struggling to compose himself to speak. He swallowed a mouthful of milk to push the pancake the rest of the way down, and when he could manage, he reached across the table, covered Jack's hand with his and returned huskily, “Same goes for me, Jack. I want to make a living will so that, if decisions have to be made about my health and I can’t choose for myself, I’ll leave it to you to do for me. God, I never thought about this stuff before.”

Daniel looked at Jakaira, happily munching away on her breakfast, ignoring their conversation about things she didn’t understand. “Daniel O’Neill-Jackson. I like the sound of that.” He smiled a little, a sense of awe filling him all the way up as he feasted his eyes on the child they now shared. “And our daughter will be Jakaira O’Neill-Jackson, huh?  We’re parents now. That really does change everything, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, babe,” Jack agreed, standing up and bending over the table toward him. “It does.” He leaned over for a kiss that tasted of strawberries with the sweet stickiness of syrup around the edges. “I love you,” he said as he sat back down in his chair.   

Daniel’s mind was whirling, the top of his head spinning from both the conversation and the kiss. Jack always had that effect on him whenever they touched.  He stared into his expressive brown eyes, sparkling now with a touch of playful mischief, and dragged his mind back to the business at hand. He sat for a moment, trying to remember what they’d been talking about, when Jakaira pointed at him and made the sign for ‘eat.’

He remembered the lesson he’d started, cleared his throat and went on, “Some of our words don’t have signs, like people’s names. For those words, we spell them out. Now I don’t know if you can read or not—“

“Daniel, she’s barely four years old,” Jack cut in. “Of course she can’t read.”

He glanced up at his lover, surprised for a moment. “I could when I was three, complete with comprehension,” he announced in a matter of fact voice.

Jack gaped. “You could? Why am I surprised?  Never mind. Go on with the lesson, Doctor Jackson. We’re all learning here.” He waved a hand at Daniel to continue.

Daniel looked back at the child. “Okay, so we have to learn to spell people’s names. This is what mine looks like.” He patiently made the signs for D-A-N-I-E-L, saying the letters as his hands formed the gestures, then repeated it while she copied him.

“Very good!” he cheered enthusiastically. He hesitated, looking at Jack and back at Jakaira. “How about if you call us Daddy Jack and Daddy Dan?”

Jack smiled broadly. “I think I like that, Daniel. Show me the sign for ‘d’ again.”

He did, and throughout their breakfast, they went over many of the signs Daniel had already learned, getting a good head start on their newest language adventure.

**1 December**

Five Weeks Later

Tyler O’Neill set the last of the big cardboard boxes on the living room floor and straightened, smoothing back his thick silver hair. He studied the towering Douglas fir set before the front window, parting several of the branches near the base to look at the root ball in its burlap bag, nestled snugly into a large pot. This would keep the tree alive until it could be planted after the holidays, sometime after the ground thawed but before the sap began to rise.

Stepping back, he cast an appraising eye on its shape, and was pleased with the symmetry. It was a big tree this year, but then the whole family might be home to see it. Hopefully Jack would be able to make it, too. 

Jack had missed the last couple of Christmases with them, and it wasn’t the same without their eldest child visiting.  Tyler and his wife would be calling their son later in the evening, taking a chance he’d be home this time.

By most folks’ reckoning it was a bit early to start with the Christmas decorating, but his wife loved the season and always wanted to make it last as long as possible. So right after Thanksgiving, on the first day of December, the tree went up and didn’t come down until New Year’s Day.

With a sigh, Ty bent down and started opening the ornament boxes. They’d let the grandchildren undress the tree last year, and there was no telling what might not have survived their less-than-careful handling. Most everything looked intact, but the tree topper looked like it had seen better days. He lifted the angel gently from the box and saw that its blonde hair was starting to come out in places. Its dress was wrinkled and one wing had been folded into an awkward crease.

As the O’Neill patriarch handled the precious heirloom, he remembered how Jack had presented them with this ornament the year Charlie was born. That sad memory touched his heart, and he knew he couldn’t bear to part with this piece of family history, even though it was a painful reminder of what they’d lost as well. He’d find a small box for it and put it back into the attic with their other sentimental keepsakes.

Charlie would have been a man now, if he’d lived. He'd be almost twenty years old, in college, no doubt. Ty was sure he'd be all long legs and attitude, with a glistening mane of his mother's blonde hair and his father's intense brown eyes. Ty sighed, missing the boy and wishing things had been different, but accidents happened and lives went on in spite of tragedy. He’d accepted the boy's death ages ago, but it never got any easier, especially on Charlie's birthday and at Christmas.

Ty carefully unfurled the bent wing, arranged the angel's curls so that the bald spots were better covered, and smoothed the wrinkles out of its pristine white gown. When he called Jack to ask if he’d be able to come for the holidays this year, he’d ask his son if he’d like to be the one to replace the angel. If not, it would be a simple thing for someone else to pick one up the next time they were in town. He stood looking down at the little doll in his hands, still missing his grandson and the sound of his laughter.

It had been snowing earlier that day, the sky overcast and dull. Tyler didn’t look outside very much during this season since there was little to see but shades of white, black and gray. As he stood there beside the tree, still holding the little angel, a ray of sunshine broke through the clouds and streamed through the large living room window at his side.  For a moment, for one blessed moment, golden light illuminated the figurine in his hand and made it sparkle and glow with radiant fire.

Tyler smiled, watching the light slowly fade and disappear.

He was a big believer in omens and signs from Above.  This Christmas would be different, special somehow. He was sure of it, just as he was sure of the unseen Presence who had brought him the message. 

“Love you, Charlie,” he said quietly, and hugged the doll to his chest, looking up at the ceiling and, in his mind’s eye, seeing a smiling face instead. “Miss you, son. Look after your father for us. He needs you, most of all.”

After a few moments, he wandered off to look for his wife and ask her where he might find a sturdy storage box for the angel, where it might quietly retire after a life well spent watching over the Clan O’Neill.

**20 December**

Three Weeks Later

“Jack, are you sure you want to do this?” Daniel’s face was drawn with apprehension, concerned about the trip to meet Jack’s family but sure Jack would do what was best for everyone. Daniel yawned as he held his coffee cup listlessly, not quite awake yet, and almost spilling some of the fragrant brew on the kitchen floor. 

“Yes, I am,” said Jack certainly. “I think all of us need to know what’s going on here.”

“You can’t tell them everything,” Daniel reminded his lover sagely, gazing over the tops of his glasses.

“Well, duh! I still want them to meet you both. I want them to know as much as they can know.” Jack smiled