The Garden Series

 

Part IV: THE SNOWFIRE ROSE

 

By Lady Grey

 

 

21 May

The Next Day

 

Jack unlocked the door to his Washington, DC hotel room and stepped inside. Instantly he was aware that he was not alone, something about the feel of the room not quite right. A shadow in the bathroom looked out of place; that was it.

 

He stepped back out into the hall and called into the room, “Show yourself.”

 

A man in a light blue polo shirt, navy blazer and dark slacks moved slowly into view from the bathroom.  He was a little younger than Jack, not so much silver in his hair, with a bulldog-square jaw and intense gray eyes.  “Long time, Wolfman.”  He glanced up at Jack’s short buzz cut. “I see you’re looking the part more these days, old man.” He chuckled. “But you’re still on your toes. That’s good. I expected you would be.”

 

Jack grinned and came into the room, opening his arms wide, and hugged his old friend, clapping him on the back.  “Sorenson, you asshole! How ya been?” He closed and locked the door. “What’s it been, ten years? Twelve?”

 

“Nine and a half,” Sorenson corrected. “Heard you were into some top secret shit before you retired. Pushing papers now for some program that’s not really there.” He followed Jack into the living area and took a seat on the sofa. “I swept the room already, if you’re thinking that direction. Which I know you are.”

 

With a shrug, Jack stowed his suitcase in the closet. “Still can’t talk about it. That’s not why I asked you here, anyway, Chad. I wanted to call in a favor.”

 

“Anything for you, Jack. You know that.” Sorenson’s smile faded and his eyes grew guarded. “Big or small favor?”

 

“Small one for the moment,” Jack answered, his insides tensing up. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this. He wasn’t exactly breaking his promise to Daniel. Just sort of. “Maybe a bigger one later. Depends.” 

 

He reached into the pocket of his black leather coat and pulled out a single sheet of paper, folded into quarters. “Need you to do some backtracking. Records I’m interested in will be at NYU the semester before this guy started at the U of Chicago.  I want the name of his roommate at NYU, and I wanna know where that guy is now.” 

 

“And when I find him?”

 

Jack shrugged again. “I wanna know who he is, if he’s still alive.  What his life is like. What he has to lose. Then I’ll decide.”

 

Chad Sorenson took the paper, unfolded it and scanned the first page printout of Daniel’s personnel record from the SGC, with Daniel’s social security number and academic history. Sorenson nodded. “You could pick up the phone and have the answers to all of that in a couple of hours, Jack.”  He rolled his cool, knowing gray gaze up to his old friend, questioning without saying a word.

 

“No, I can’t. I promised I wouldn’t. But you can, and I need to know what fate delivered to this guy’s doorstep. I need to know where he landed, if he’s still out there.” Jack had been through dozens of fantasies, all of which ended with him delivering justice in the name of Daniel Jackson to that faceless man, preferably with Jack’s own bare hands, but he knew he would never have that satisfaction.  He had promised that to Daniel, and he would keep his word.  In this case, vengeance wasn’t something he could extract personally.

 

But Jack had friends like Chad Sorenson who would be more than happy to do it for him. And if Chad couldn’t take the risk himself, he and Jack knew scores of others who would.  There was satisfaction to be had, if the man were still alive and had anything worth losing.  And if not, then Jack’s conscience would be spotless, but he would also have the satisfaction of knowing more of the details.  Maybe karma had already gotten to the nameless, faceless man.

 

Or maybe karma had an instrument in mind, by the name of Jack O’Neill.

 

He just had to know for sure. For both Daniel and himself.

 

Chad stood up and tucked the paper into an inner pocket of his blazer. “How long you gonna be in town, Wolfman?” 

 

“Five days. Flying out on the 26th.”

 

“Then maybe we can squeeze in a lunch date in a day or two. I’ll call you.”

 

“Yeah. We can reminisce about all that stuff we did together that didn’t happen and that we can’t talk about.” He grinned. Sorenson had been his right-hand man during all of the last work he did in Special Ops. They’d been close, and Sorenson would have died for him in a heartbeat. That went both ways, and there weren’t many people on the planet Jack felt that way about.

 

“Anytime, buddy.” Chad gathered him into his arms for a brief, hard hug, and slapped his back soundly. “See ya in a couple days.”

 

“Thanks, Chad.” Jack let his old friend out and locked up after him, his mind turning back to the mission years back that had gone so horribly wrong, when Jack had disobeyed direct orders to leave Sorenson behind and get his team to safety. He’d gone back alone, risking his life and his career, to save his friend and teammate while the rest of his company followed orders and covered for him. That wasn’t the sort of thing people ever forgot, and Jack knew he could count on Sorenson for anything, just as Chad knew Jack was there for him, and always would be.

 

Jack unpacked, his thoughts moving on to more recent relationships. He headed downstairs to the hotel restaurant for dinner, wishing he could call Daniel just to wish him a good night. Things were still too raw between them, too fresh, so he didn’t feel he could do that.

 

He settled at a table, made his choice from the menu, then remembered he hadn’t turned his cell phone back on since getting off the airplane an hour earlier. He pulled it out of his pocket and turned it on, then started to put it back into his pocket when it rang.

 

“O’Neill,” he answered curtly.

 

“How was your flight?”

 

“Daniel!” Jack broke into a smile all over. He tried to calm himself down, but the grin wouldn’t go away. “It was long and boring, but we made it. I was just sitting down to dinner. How are you doing?”

 

After a pause and an audible breath exhaled into the mouthpiece of the phone, Daniel answered solemnly, “Saw Doctor Stevenson today.”

 

Silence fell between them, and Jack’s smile vanished instantly, his thoughts darkening, filled with the pain they both shared. “How’d that go?”

 

“About like you’d expect.”

 

Jack picked at a speck of lint on his tablecloth, wishing he could be there to put his arms around Daniel. His voice got deeper and softer. “You okay?”

 

“I will be. Thanks for asking.”  Pause.  “I was worried about you last night.  I mean, I think we understand each other a lot better now, but neither one of us is in a very good place at the moment.”  Another pause.  “Anyway, I was thinking about starting a support group.”

 

Jack gave a startled little laugh at the idea, and shut it off right away, one hand nervously rubbing at the back of his neck. “Well, if there’s more than two in it, I’ll have to pass.”

 

Daniel chuckled softly into the phone. “Yeah, just us, Jack. I think we need each other right now, you know?”

 

He thought about that. “I think we always have, Daniel.”  I think we always will, he thought to himself, too afraid to voice it out loud.  He missed Daniel so much right then it actually hurt.

 

“How about if I pick you up at the airport when you get back?”

 

“You don’t have a car.”

 

“Remember the motor pool?”

 

A soft smile curved his lips. “Okay, then.  Great.  I’d like that.”

 

“We could pick up dinner on the way back to your house.”

 

Jack almost agreed without thinking, then realized what the inside of his house looked like. That wasn’t something he wanted Daniel to see. He’d only been in the living room and foyer when he’d come over the previous night, but if he made himself at home and went into the back rooms, Jack would have a lot of explaining to do.  He needed to put things back the way they were before he let Daniel in again.

 

“Let’s take it slow, Daniel. Just friends, here. Besides, I need to fix the place up a little. I don’t want you seeing it the way it is.”

 

“I saw it last night, Jack. And besides, I wasn’t asking you on a date.” Daniel’s tone of voice was obviously slightly cross. “I just thought you might be hungry after a long flight and want to get something to eat on the way home so you wouldn’t have to cook.”

 

“I know.  I appreciate that, I really do.  But maybe we can just stop by Steak ‘n’ Shake on the way or something. I’ll call you later with flight times and stuff. And thanks for the offer.”

 

“You’re welcome. Hurry home.”

 

A pang of homesickness grabbed Jack’s gut. “Bye, Daniel. Take care. Call if you need me.”

 

“I will. Night, Jack.”

 

As he listened for the line to disconnect, he thought about calling him back just to talk about stupid stuff, just so he could hear Daniel’s voice in his ear for a while longer.  Jack missed him like crazy, anxious to just go home, but there was business to take care of, and this was part of his job now.

 

Slipping the phone into his pocket, he checked out the dining room one more time, locating potential threats and keeping watch on them till his food came. He ate as fast as possible, paid the check with his credit card and hurried back to his room.

 

After a hot shower he slithered between the cool sheets in his hotel bed, turned on the television and settled down to rest, dropping off to sleep to the sound of slap shots and a cheering crowd, images of Daniel Jackson romping naked through his dreams, almost like old times.

 

~~**~~

 

**22 May**

The Next Day

 

Daniel stood on the sidewalk in front of Jack’s house not long after sunrise the next morning, Jack’s rolled up garden plans in his left hand, cane in his right.  He studied the gray-haired woman at his side, her face lined and sun-bronzed, her green eyes shrewdly taking in the cleanly swept flower beds filled with rocks and the paved side yard.  He’d liked her from the moment he’d spoken with her on the phone, and hoped she was as adept at landscaping miracles as he thought she sounded.

 

“Think you can do it in three and a half days?” he asked quietly.

 

“The hardest part will be clearing away the rocks and the liner underneath,” said Anna Jensen. “That’s gonna take a big crew and quite a bit of time.”  She paused while her eyes swept over the bleak scene in front of them.  “Boy, he really went after the place with a vengeance, didn’t he?”

 

“Like the devil himself was after him,” Daniel agreed, his heart aching as he stared at the piles of river stones, remembering the carefully trained evergreens that had once thrived there.

 

“Let’s have a look at the plans again,” she told him, her voice grim.

 

Daniel handed them over. She unrolled them and studied the diagram for a few minutes in the brightening light. Her keen eyes glanced from the paper to the yard and back several times.  She turned and walked around the side of the house onto the field of paving stones, her eyes still moving from the plan in her hands to the property and back.

 

“My God, whoever drew this up is a genius,” she breathed. “Given what I know about plants, soil conditions and weather -- which is a lot, I might add – this has to be the most organically stable plan I’ve ever seen. It’s balanced for color and season, and elements are even grouped so that plants more vulnerable to certain types of pests are right next to those the little buggers find offensive. An old farmer’s trick is to plant marigolds with your tomatoes to keep ‘em bug free, and by God, that kind of thought is all over this. Who drew it up? I don’t see a landscape architect’s stamp anywhere.”

 

Daniel had just gotten quite an education in the field of horticulture by way of the woman’s admiring remarks. He smiled proudly. “The man who lives here, Jack O’Neill.”

 

“He got a degree in this?” Ms. Jensen started rolling the plan back up and slid the rubber band down on it to keep it tight.

 

“Not that I know of, but it’s possible. He’s a retired Air Force colonel, and they have to earn a degree in something before they can get that far in the service.” Daniel made himself a mental note to ask Jack about that later. 

 

“Well, tell him if he wants work doing more of this kind of thing,” she waved the roll at Daniel, “I can bring him plenty of business.”

 

“I’ll do that.” Daniel couldn’t help smiling. That could be excellent therapy for Jack, if he were interested. “So, what do you think? Can you have it finished by the time his plane lands on the 26th?”

 

Jensen looked out at the yard and cocked her head. She studied her wristwatch and pursed her lips thoughtfully, obviously calculating in her head. Then she lifted one eyebrow as she made eye contact. “I’ll have to hire extra laborers and trucks to move the rocks, but if we can get that cleared in 24 hours, I think we can get it done.” She hesitated. “And that’s also provided I can locate all the plants not available locally and have them shipped overnight. Which means it’s going to cost you.”

 

“How much?”

 

She gave Daniel a ballpark figure. He nodded and smiled. “More than worth the price,” he told her.

 

Nodding toward the rear yard, he added, “Come with me. I need to show you a couple of areas that’ll need special attention.” He led the way over to the waterfall Jack had built the previous summer, now only a dry, ugly pile of rocks at the base of the trees. Beside it, the stones that Jack had specially carved as the bed for the centerpiece flower were now laid out flat in the dirt, all the space in the center area filled in with flagstones. Weeds were starting to sprout around them.

 

He described how Jack had them set up originally, then walked with her back into the trees. He stood in the small clearing, pointing around them with his cane, telling her what he had in mind and asking her advice on whether or not his ideas would work. They discussed the matter, shook hands, and she gave him a business card for an interior designer who specialized in patios and pool houses.

 

Daniel stood in the trees, imagining the enclosure Jack had talked about so many times when they were together, his heart in his throat. This he would do for Jack, because Jack so desperately needed it. Daniel had been cruel and selfish, albeit unwittingly, and Jack had given his all.  It was time for him to do the same and even though it terrified him, Daniel was committed to the idea, humbled by the depth of Jack’s love and eager to open his soul to the man and hold back nothing, ever again.

 

This place would be perfect for that, once Daniel got through with it.

 

Jack’s confession had brought more than forgiveness to Daniel’s heart. Understanding what had motivated Jack’s betrayal of the man he loved had all but erased the affair from Daniel’s mind. It was nothing more than a bad dream now, and he felt a driving need to patch things up with his lover.  Daniel knew Jack well enough to understand it would take a lot of work on both their parts to get back together.  Jack would be particularly stubborn about forgiving himself for what he’d done, but Daniel also knew he’d eventually find a way past the walls Jack had put up between them, if he were patient and persistent.

 

And no one was more stubborn than Daniel Jackson. He’d made a career out of persuading Jack to follow his lead. It wouldn’t be easy, but the results would be more than worth the time and effort it would take to benevolently bulldoze past Jack’s resistance to absolution. Rebuilding the garden was the first step in that journey.

 

With a big smile on his face, Daniel wandered slowly toward the front of the house, stopping by the deck to write out a check for the landscape contractor. Anna Jensen leaned against her truck in the driveway, cell phone pressed to her ear. Already additional trucks and laborers were arriving, and he watched in wonder as the men hopped down off their rides, got their instructions from their boss, and started gathering up the stones from the front beds, loading them up in the back of a huge flatbed truck. 

 

Daniel smiled, handed over the check and waved goodbye to the woman, got into his borrowed car and headed for the base for a day of fruitful work at the SGC, confident that his surprise gift to Jack was in capable hands.

 

~~**~~

 

**23 May**

Two Days Later

 

The noon sunshine was bright, even with sunglasses. Jack glanced around the crowded, upscale Georgetown café patio, sipping his iced tea and watching the door.  Eventually his patience was rewarded, and Chad Sorenson appeared, scanning the crowd and then making his way to the corner table where Jack waited for him.

 

Jack greeted him with a smile and nod as Sorenson took his seat. “I already ordered you a Dr. Pepper, no ice,” he said casually, pointing to the glass in front of his friend.  “Just like you like it.”

 

The glass of cold beverage was sweating in the warm sun. Chad picked it up and took a big drink, setting it down with a slight, tense smile. “Got what you wanted, Jack.” He opened the leather binder he’d brought with him, pulled out a manila envelope, and handed it over.

 

Without preamble, Jack opened the clasp and pulled out a copy of a college transcript, complete with a photocopy of an old driver’s license photo. He took off his sunglasses to look at the information.  He didn’t want any kind of a barrier between him and what he was so anxious to see.

 

James Turner Waterford, he read. So now he had a name for the fucker.  Quickly scanning the transcript, he saw that Waterford had made good grades and had graduated NYU with a political science degree, minoring in business. 

 

Jack moved the transcript to the back and found a photocopy of a recent news article featuring Waterford’s rise in the New Jersey state hierarchy to the office of governor.  The article even had a photo of the man as he appeared now, expensively dressed and personable, smiling and accepting the accolades of his admiring public.

 

“So, now what?” asked Sorenson casually. “Does he need to be taken care of?”  He took another drink of his Dr. Pepper and leaned forward on his elbows, his eyes on Jack’s face.

 

Jack shook his head. “No.  Believe me, I wish it could be that easy.”  He knew Daniel wouldn’t want Waterford killed, though that thought had briefly crossed Jack’s mind more than once, in many of his self-indulgent fantasies. 

 

While Chad watched him closely, he considered his options, thinking about how damaging the secret he carried about this politician could be to the man’s career.  Only problem was, by exposing what Waterford had done to Daniel, he’d also be exposing Daniel as a victim.  He certainly didn’t want to do that.

 

“I want his skeletons,” said Jack quietly. “Don’t look at Daniel Jackson or anything concerning the time period he and Waterford were roommates, but anything after that will do.  Specifically, be looking for things like attractive young interns at the governor’s mansion, especially good-looking boys who work for him. Check his other college roommates, too, and see if they had any… unusual circumstances during private moments with just the two of them in their room.”

 

Sorenson’s eyes widened, just a little. “Waterford’s married, Jack. Has been since a year after college. Supposed to be a match made in heaven. You telling me he’s a closet perv?”

 

Jack pressed his lips together, thinking, contemplating. He knew Chad, trusted him with his life and had done so on many occasions. He lifted his eyes to Chad’s, knowing Chad would read his expression and the intensity in it as honest hatred. “I’m telling you he’s a rapist, buddy. Very deliberate, very sly about it, so some of his victims might not even realize it happened. If he did it once and got away with it, I’m thinking he may have done it again. If he has, I wanna know. Every name, no matter how far back, except for the one I gave you.”

 

Horror washed over Chad’s face and he dropped his gaze to the table, obviously disturbed. “Jeez, Jack,” he whispered. “You friends with this Daniel Jackson fella you don’t want me looking into? Is that what this is about?”

 

“Secrets between friends,” Jack said with a nod, pinning his old teammate with a steely look that he knew communicated volumes.  “Secrets we don’t betray. Promises we don’t break. I can’t touch Waterford. I can’t have his blood on my hands. But if justice needs to be done…”

 

Sorenson nodded, his expression grave. “Then it will be.  All quiet and legal-like. And right in the public eye, where it’ll do him the most damage.  Sound good?”

 

Jack nodded. “Just make sure it’s cold justice, not revenge.  Daniel doesn’t want revenge. I do, but this isn’t for me.”

 

Chad nodded. “I get that.” He sat back in his chair and accepted the envelope and its contents that Jack handed back to him. “I’m not sure I ever said thank you for what you did for me, Jack,” he said quietly.

 

The memory of that secret rescue grazed Jack’s consciousness.  He’d killed three enemy men to free Chad, one of them right in front of his teammate.  Death had been delivered quickly, efficiently, expertly, and the two of them had stolen away in the dark of night in a foreign land to the safety of their own camp.  Chad had never said the words to Jack, but they’d been there in his eyes.  Neither of them had ever told all the details of what had happened that night.  Some mission details weren’t meant for their commanding officers to know.

 

Those things would always remain just between the two of them. As far as their superiors knew, Chad had escaped unaided, and no one but the two of them knew the whole truth.

 

Dropping his gaze to the envelope in the other man’s hands, Jack gave him a very slight nod. “Yeah, Chad. You did. You’re alive, and that’s all the thanks I need.”

 

Haunted gray eyes looked back at Jack from across the table. Sorenson shook his head and tapped the envelope before slipping it back into the binder. “This one’s for free, Wolfman. Just because it needs to be done. I still owe you.”

 

Jack reached out and patted Chad’s sleeve. “Secrets between friends, buddy,” he said softly, then lifted his glass of iced tea to clink it against his friend’s in a silent toast. 

 

They each took a drink, turned their attention to the menus, and after placing their orders, began to talk about family and friends.  Then they traded old war stories, anything they could talk about publicly.  Those were safe subjects that made them laugh and remember why they had enjoyed working together in the first place.

 

Later, when they parted ways, Jack put Governor James Turner Waterford out of his mind, knowing already that the mission would be accomplished without prejudice, and that cold, impersonal justice would be done.  Chad had no personal stake in the matter, and that alone would keep Jack clean. He’d enjoyed his meal with his old friend and for now he could forget about that bastard who had hurt Daniel so long ago.

 

~~**~~

 

**26 May**

Three Days Later

 

Daniel stood on the deck behind Jack’s house, scanning the view of the blooming garden, the hand-made stream and falls restored to their former beauty and flowing with clean, pure water. He nodded with approval and handed another personal check for the balance of his bill to the landscape contractor.  “Everything looks perfect,” he assured her.  He turned to look at her and smile into her eyes.  “You’ve performed a miracle, Anna. Thank you. I know he’ll be happy with it.”

 

“You’re welcome, Doctor Jackson,” she answered with a satisfied sigh, her gaze turning back to the brightly blooming yard. “And don’t forget to ask your friend if he’s interested in doing this same kind of thing on a contract basis. My clients could use his kind of talent.”  

 

“I won’t forget.” He set a small pot down on the deck railing and reached to shake her hand, then walked her around the side of the house.  He watched her drive away and then went back to the garden, strolling out toward the woods.  The seams between sod sections were barely visible, but he knew in a matter of days the roots would be joining to the rich earth beneath and becoming a permanent, living carpet once more.

 

He followed the remaining flagstone path through the flowers and into the woods, leaning on his cane as he made his way back into the trees. At the back of the property, he studied the place where the tent would be erected, remembering the design sketches he’d seen and approved. The people he’d had working for him really knew what they were doing and had been worth every penny he’d paid.  Several items had just arrived.  The tent was being stitched together, along with the netting that would cover the top and keep the mosquitoes away.  It would take several days for the sewing to be completed, and he’d paid handsomely for the rush job.

 

Once the tent was finished, it would be delivered and placed while he and Jack were away on official business, courting a few new academics for the SGC.  They’d be making that trip in four days, and Daniel was certain he could keep Jack distracted and away from this part of his property for that long. The trees that would serve as the four corner posts of the cloth building were marked with fluorescent pink twine and everything inside the space had been cleared and leveled. Stepping inside, he lowered himself as carefully as he could to the bare ground and looked around, imagining how it would look when finished. Daniel knew tents, having lived in them for much of his life, and this one would be fit for a sheik. 

 

Jack had had such grand plans for this place, he knew. He had wanted it as a place where he and Daniel could go to make love outdoors, under the sun. Daniel turned his gaze skyward, looking up through the canopy of leaves overhead, and letting his mind wander.

 

He could still feel Jack’s mouth on his neck the last time they were together, before their world fell apart, rolling with him on the bed, his hands driving Daniel wild with need. Jack had been so hungry, so demanding, needing Daniel to fuck him harder while his hands twisted up in the sheets. They’d done it again in the shower afterward, and it had been just as desperate and draining the second time. Then the fateful morning Jack had left for DC, they’d made love again, only that time it had been slowly, tenderly, barely able to stop staring into each other’s eyes as their bodies undulated together.

 

It had been as if Jack were saying goodbye, which as it turned out, he had been. Jack had known there was a chance that Daniel would eventually find out about his affair, and of course, he had. That last night and every night they’d been together after Jack had started seeing his girlfriend had been especially intense, and only afterward, after Daniel knew the truth, had he understood why Jack had been so driven and so sad.

 

Tears filled Daniel’s eyes, and he closed them against the view. He missed Jack. Not seeing him, now that he understood Jack’s pain, felt as if someone had cut out his heart.

 

He looked down at the carpet of bare earth beneath his hands. He could have replaced the garden without touching this space, but part of him had realized that it was necessary to complete the design. Only now that he sat in the partially prepared enclosure, he realized he could never show it to Jack as long as they were still estranged. It suddenly occurred to him that maybe it would be better if he just cancelled the order, until Jack had found someone else who could help him plan it the way they wanted.

 

That thought sent a shaft of pain right through him, and he knew instantly what it was.

 

Jealousy.

 

Daniel didn’t want anyone else sharing this place with Jack. He didn’t want Jack sharing his bed with anyone else, either. Jack belonged to him, and he belonged to Jack.

 

His shoulders sagged as the realization hit him fully. That was why he’d added this to the plan, because part of him knew it would convey a message of its own to Jack. Daniel swallowed hard, his mind spinning away with the ramifications of his subconscious gesture, shocking himself for a moment before understanding set in and changed everything.

 

He loved Jack. He was in love with Jack. Jack had hurt him terribly with his betrayal, but that was when Daniel didn’t understand the motivations behind it.  Now that he did, he felt ashamed for the part he’d played in circumstances, and was horrified at the pain he had caused Jack, both inadvertently and intentionally.  Atonement was necessary, and as he envisioned the elegant interior of the romantic hideaway, he knew only one thing would say what he needed to the man he still desperately loved. He needed to give his body to Jack, all of it, without reservation or lingering fear, in perfect trust, and with a love that had become richer for all their problems in the past.

 

Jack would be stubborn about everything, he knew. Neither of them were ready for this. It would take time and professional help for them to recover some semblance of emotional stability, and Daniel knew they would never truly get back what they once had.  It would be different, once they managed to patch up their relationship and limp onward, but Daniel hoped it would be better, deeper somehow, and permanent.

 

He glanced down at his damaged knee and rubbed at it, wiping away his tears with his other hand. He might not be the man he once was, but he was still functioning and contributing to SGC.  He was still a man, strong and healthy, if no longer fast on his feet.  He had to be more careful now, more aware of the potential for falling, and he would equally be more aware of his relationship with Jack. It wasn’t something he could take for granted, any more than he could just get up and walk. This was something he’d have to work at, if he were to keep Jack happy.

 

Daniel knew Jack loved him without reservation; that had not changed. Now it was time for Daniel to be the one to stop holding back, to be strong, because Jack needed that from him. Jack wasn’t far different from the man he’d been just before the first mission to Abydos, and Daniel had to find a way to save him all over again. He lay back against the earth and looked up at the sky, smiling as he daydreamed about how he might do just that.

 

An hour later he rose, dusted himself off, hobbled back across the yard to the car he’d checked out of the motor pool.

 

He started the drive to the airport to pick up his partner and bring him home. To their home.

 

~~**~~

 

Daniel pulled the car into Jack’s driveway and shut it off. He didn’t say anything as he unbuckled his seat belt, already aware of how silent the man in the passenger seat was.  As he got out, Daniel knew without looking at him that Jack was studying the front garden beds, newly replanted with interestingly shaped junipers.

 

He closed the car door and turned to watch Jack climbing out.  Without even a glance at his driver, Jack opened the rear door on the sedan and grabbed his suitcase, then went to set it on the front porch.  Daniel followed him, bracing himself on his cane, keeping several paces behind him.  He was pleased when the door didn’t shut in his face as he followed Jack inside the house.

 

Starting down the hallway after him, though, Daniel was surprised when Jack came to a dead stop and spoke over his shoulder. “Go into the living room and wait for me there, if you don’t mind.”

 

“Oh, sure thing, Jack,” he responded, and did as requested. Daniel went to stand at the mantel, looking at photos of Charlie and touching the spots where Jack’s medals and commendations had once been. He glanced around when he heard Jack come into the room, wanting to see his face when he got his first look out the windows.

 

Only Daniel couldn’t read the guarded expression on Jack’s face.

 

“You put it back,” he said quietly, his eyes widening. “Holy shit, Daniel! You must’ve had an army working here the last few days. What did you do, hijack half the personnel at the base?”

 

“I hired it done.”

 

Jack’s head whipped around. “Must’ve cost a fortune, to get it done that fast.”

 

Daniel just smiled. “I think it was a good investment.”

 

He saw Jack swallow hard, his gaze shifting to linger on the distant view. “Did you do all this from memory?” Those intense brown eyes moved slowly from outside to Daniel’s face.

 

Shaking his head, Daniel took a step toward him. “You threw out the plans, remember? I picked them out of your trash and kept them. The landscape contractor was damned impressed, by the way. Said she hoped you’d think about designing professionally. I promised I’d ask.”

 

“Oh.” Jack wandered into the living room, turning his gaze down to the silk iris still pristine and beautiful in the vase on the coffee table.  He gazed at the thriving potted geranium beside it, dragging his fingertips over the tops of the blooms.  He lifted his fingers to his nose, sniffing the floral fragrance that had rubbed off at his touch.  “I’ll think about it.”  He straightened up, keeping his chin lowered, eyes still on the plants.  “So how much damage did you do to your bank account?” 

 

“I don’t know if I’ll have enough food money till next payday, but I think I’ll make it,” Daniel returned, smiling slightly. “Think you might be able to share a few meals with your poor, penniless friend, so I don’t starve?”  He tried to keep his tone light, still not sure of Jack’s reaction to what he’d had done.

 

“Daniel, I—“ Jack raised his head, and Daniel saw the naked pain there, flickering across his eyes, then smoothed over and gone.  Jack cleared his throat, looking over at the mantel and speaking to it.  “Of course I’ll feed you,” he said in a soft voice.  “You know I won’t let you go hungry, but… Uh.  That was.  Uh.”  He licked his lips nervously.  “Not the smartest thing to spend your last dime on, you know?”  He risked another glance, this time his control holding up as he made eye contact.  

 

“Worth every penny to me,” said Daniel, heading toward the patio door. He undid the lock and stepped out, fetching a small pot from the railing and brought it back inside with him. He handed it to Jack and waited.

 

General Hammond had just returned from a trip home to Texas and brought that specimen back for Daniel, since it wasn’t late enough in the season for them to be out in Colorado.

 

Jack looked down at the little potted plant in his hands. At the base, long, raggedly shaped green leaves stuck out from the central stem. About halfway up, the leaves changed in shape, looking like an array of little pale green hearts fastened to the ends of slender, delicate wands fixed to the main stem. Toward the top, clusters of tiny white flowers bloomed in a lacy cap.

 

“This is Shepherd’s Purse,” Jack observed softly.

 

“Yes,” said Daniel, aware of the significance of that plant far more than all the others, its message hanging unspoken in the air between them.

 

I give you my all.

 

“I didn’t before,” he added, “but I’m ready to now. I love you, Jack. I’ve never stopped, and I never will.  Let’s put the past behind us.  Do you think we can?  I really want us to try.”

 

Jack shook his head. He set the plant down on the coffee table with the geranium and the silk iris. “I’m not sure I can, Daniel. I need to talk to Doctor Stevenson.”

 

Daniel nodded. “I’m not talking about jumping back into bed right now, Jack,” he assured his friend. “That would be pretty reckless, because I don’t think either one of us is ready for that. She wants to have individual sessions with us for a while anyway, but she’s also talked about counseling us both as a couple.” He hesitated. “Whenever you’re ready.” 

 

He watched as Jack bowed his head and stuck his hands into his pockets, meandering slowly toward the open patio door, where he paused a moment.

 

“A couple?” Jack asked softly. “Were we that, Daniel?”  He raised his eyes for a brief glance, the pain of what they’d lost glimmering in the chocolate brown depths.  “We were good together, weren’t we?”

 

Daniel nodded. “Yes, Jack. We were.  Maybe we can be again. I’d sure like to try.”

 

Jack turned away and went outside with Daniel following him, looking down at the freshly laid lawn that replaced the ugly gray paving stones Jack had put down. They wandered down the gentle slope to the stack of stones Jack had built the previous year, listening to the sound of gaily splashing water in the falls as it tumbled over the rocks Jack had placed just so, wanting to get the pitch of the waterfall exactly right.

 

The yard was beautiful. Most of the plants were in full bloom, large and healthy and mature, though others would be blossoming later in the season or during the autumn. Anna Jennings had done a splendid job, and Daniel was pleased with how everything looked.

 

“This is beautiful out here,” Jack said, more to himself than to Daniel.  He bent down and pinched off a yellow leaf that was less than healthy and dropped it into the waterfall, watching it be carried away on the current.  He took a deep breath.  “You know I won’t be able to keep you at arm’s length for very long, don’t you.”

 

That was a statement of fact, not a question.

 

Daniel smiled a little, hopeful. “Yes, I do know that.  I don’t want you to punish yourself, Jack,” he said quietly, leaning on his cane. It started to sink into the soft earth and he glanced around for a stone to set it on, choosing one on the edge of the falls to give him a place to lean a little. “I don’t want to be punished, either. So, yeah, I’m kinda hoping you’ll give up that whole penance idea. That’s why I did all this. So that maybe we could start to recover what we lost. Maybe even make it better.”

 

Wandering over to the stone planter at the center of the garden, Jack stared down at the bare earth. “This is still empty.”

 

“Still looking for just the right thing to plant there.  I’m hoping that whatever is supposed to go in that spot, we’ll find it together, and we’ll know it when we see it.”

 

Jack looked up at him, his eyes warming, but pain etched into the lines in his face.  “That’s a nice thought.”  His eyes roved over Daniel’s features, hungry for what he was offering but too guilt-ridden and scared to accept it just yet.  “I don’t deserve you, you know.  You shouldn’t forgive me, Daniel. I betrayed you. I betrayed us.” 

 

With a shake of his head, Daniel took a few steps closer, resting the end of his cane on the yellowish stone base of the hand-made planter. “If you’d done it because you were in love with her, you’d still be with her,” he argued gently. “But you were in love with me, and I think… I hope… you still are. You slept with her because you were afraid. Because you needed something I couldn’t – or wouldn’t -- give you.” His stomach tightened up. “I’m hoping I can change that. I want to try.”

 

“No.” Jack shook his head, backing a few steps away. “I’ll never be with you in that way, Daniel. Not now that I know. I suspected. That’s why I didn’t push you about it.”

 

A great wave of anguish rose inside Daniel. His left hand shook as he raised it to pat his own chest. “How do you think that makes me feel, Jack, knowing what you went through, and what I did to you?” He swallowed hard, his voice deep and trembling. “Every time I think about that it tears me up inside, that you lived through that brutal, unspeakable horror, and yet were so willing to let me touch you like that… God!”

 

Daniel turned away, wiping at his eyes. “What happened to me was nothing compared to what happened to you, and I wouldn’t even let you stand behind me in the shower. My God.  I’m so sorry.”  He shook his head, sniffling, trying to hold back tears.  He twisted around to look into Jack’s face again.  “I trusted you, Jack.  I always have and always will.  I was just…” He shrugged.

 

“Just scared,” Jack finished for him, laying one hand gently on Daniel’s shoulder. “I know. I understood, Daniel. It’s okay.”

 

“No, it’s not.” Images of violence scorched Daniel’s mind, and he gasped, shutting them off. “God, Jack. I wish I’d never touched you like that. I did this to you. I made you feel this way, brought all that pain back to you and hurt you…” He was crying in earnest now. 

 

Jack came to him and turned him so they were face to face, putting his arms around him, holding him close, whispering in his ear.  “Shhh, it’s all right, babe.  Please don’t cry.  You were loving me, and it was beautiful. Every moment. Every touch. Don’t ever be sorry about that, please?”  Jack’s voice was soft and warm against Daniel’s ear.  He placed a little kiss on his sideburn as he rocked him in his arms a little.  “You didn’t know. There’s no way you could have known, and I didn’t plan on telling you, not ever.  I’m sorry all this happened. I never wanted to hurt you, Daniel.  I was just messed up. Really lost. You know?”

 

Daniel nodded against Jack’s shoulder, hugging him back.  “I love you, Jack.  I want us to be together again. Can’t we try? Please?”

 

Jack’s arms tightened around him. “Since the day we first met, we’ve never really been apart, Daniel,” he murmured.  “Even when you left us to do your glowy thing with Oma. Even when you were on Abydos with Sha’re, part of you was still with me. I could feel it, even then.”

 

“That’s true,” Daniel agreed, a smile spreading across his whole face.

 

“But yeah,” Jack whispered into Daniel’s hair.  “I’d like to try.  I’ve missed you so much.”

 

At those welcome words, Daniel straightened and pulled back a bit, and then his lips were seeking and finding Jack’s.  He didn’t care that they were outside or that the neighbors might be watching.  He didn’t care that they were drinking his tears as their mouths melded together. Jack was kissing him, his hands gently exploring Daniel’s face, neck and shoulders, burying up in his hair. There was no passion in these kisses, just apologies, forgiveness, welcoming each other home with promises for the future.

 

Daniel leaned against him, dropping his cane to put both arms around Jack’s ribs. Daniel’s fingers mapped the muscles in Jack’s back through his shirt, moving up to his shoulders and dusting across the short, silver velvet of Jack’s buzz cut.

 

Daniel pulled back and looked at him, his eyes roving over that short military do.  “I miss your hair and the earring,” he sniffed.  “Silly, huh?”

 

A broad smile spread slowly over Jack’s face and up into his eyes, warming them to an auburn glow. “Not a bit,” said Jack. “I always liked yours long, too. You have beautiful hair, Daniel.” He ran his fingers through the nearly shoulder-length mane in emphasis, playing in it delightedly.

 

“So do you, Jack.”

 

“I’m growin’ mine back out,” he announced, stepping away and lightly catching Daniel’s left hand in his. “Starting now. How long do you want it? Down to my ass?”

 

Daniel bent down to retrieve his cane, holding onto Jack’s hand for balance, letting go when he had the cane tucked under his right hand again. Then he turned to study his partner, head tilted, imagining tresses of various lengths surrounding his face. “I don’t think you can go much longer than where it was. No ponytails. You’re not a really long hair kind of guy. How about me? How long do you want mine?” He ran his free hand over his chestnut mane, as long now as it had been when he and Jack first met.

 

“It’s your hair, Daniel,” said Jack cautiously, his eyes greedily following Daniel’s hand.

 

“I want to please my partner.”

 

Jack reached out for him and laced his fingers with Daniel’s. “Then let it grow. I’ll tell you when I think you’ve reached your limit.”

 

“Deal.” Daniel turned and headed toward the house, bringing Jack with him. “So when can I move back in?”

 

A guilty look flashed over Jack’s face. He got all wary. “Give me a few days, okay? I’ve got a lot of shit to sort through.”

 

“Things to put back in place,” Daniel agreed, thinking of the missing medals on the mantel.

 

Looking down at the new grass beneath their feet, Jack sighed. “Yeah. I guess I went a little nuts there for a while.”

 

That made Daniel wonder what else Jack had done to his house, in the back where Daniel hadn’t yet seen. “What’s good for dinner tonight?” he asked, watching Jack move to the foyer and take up a stance, as if subtly inviting Daniel to leave.

 

“Not real hungry right now,” Jack admitted, shifting nervously back and forth on his feet. The guilty look intensified.

 

Intuition jiggled Daniel’s brain. Jack wanted him to go. He didn’t want Daniel to see something. Something in the back of the house.

 

Pressing his lips together, Daniel tried to prepare himself for whatever he would find and pushed past Jack, heading down the hallway, looking into the rooms as he passed them. He ignored Jack’s protests, intent on finding out what he so obviously didn’t want Daniel to discover. The spare room remained as it had been since he’d retrieved the last of his things, but as he stepped into the doorway of the den, Jack fell silent.

 

The room was completely vacant. The entertainment center, desk, leather recliner and sofa, and other furniture were all gone. Even the bookshelves had been emptied, leaving nothing but the shutters covering the windows.

 

Daniel pushed past Jack to move on to the master bedroom, his stomach churning. He froze in the doorway, just staring at the nearly empty room. Their big, king-sized bed was gone, replaced with a small twin-sized iron cot with a thin mattress. It was made up in ugly, rough-looking linens that looked like they’d come from a military surplus store. The alarm clock sat on the floor beside it, and all the pictures were gone from the walls.  There was no other furniture in the room, and Jack’s suitcase sat just inside the door, where he had put it when they first arrived.

 

The bedroom looked like a prison cell.

 

Which was probably the exact look Jack had been going for.

 

Daniel turned to look at him, standing behind him in the hall. “You’re not staying in this room tonight,” he announced harshly, torn between anger and hurt as he looked into Jack’s embarrassed face. “Where’s your stuff?  In a storage unit somewhere, I hope?”

 

Jack nodded, his face flushed, looking as self-conscious as Daniel had ever seen him. 

 

“All right, then. Tomorrow, you and I are putting everything back like it was.”  He blinked back tears.  Then he reached for Jack and just held him.  “Tomorrow’s a new day, Jack.  A new start for us.  And everything’s gonna be okay.  I promise.”

 

Jack held him tightly, squeezing him so hard he could barely breathe.  Daniel couldn’t remember when anything had felt so wonderful.  “Take me out to dinner,” he whispered after a while.  “I’m broke and hungry, and I don’t want you back in this room until it’s fixed.”

 

They stepped apart, exchanging a long look full of hope and promise.  Jack brought both hands up to hold and pet Daniel. He gave him a small smile, running one thumb over Daniel’s cheekbone.  He nuzzled their noses together and kissed Daniel lightly on the lips.  Leaning their foreheads together, he said, “Okay, Daniel. You win. I’ll do anything you want.  So where do you wanna eat?” 

 

“I want Italian.” Daniel pulled out of his arms, grabbed his hand, and headed for the door. “We’ll unpack later. C’mon.”

 

They held hands all the way to the car and all during the ride to Antonio’s. When they arrived, Daniel asked for a smaller table than the one the hostess showed them, because he wanted to be close enough to touch Jack. He barely noticed the other patrons and didn’t bother glancing at the menu because his eyes were too full of the man he loved.

 

He was falling again, falling hard. He welcomed it and hoped it showed in his face so Jack could see.  When the waiter appeared to take their orders, he listened with a delighted smile as Jack ordered in flawless Italian with a Mid-western American accent.  When Daniel’s turn came, he just doubled the order. He didn’t care what he ate. For tonight, food wasn’t important.

 

As soon as the waiter left, Daniel reached across the table and took Jack’s hand again, lacing their fingers together. They didn’t talk much, just stared at each other, smiling like fools in love. When the food was delivered and their hands weren’t busy with utensils, Daniel made sure he was touching Jack somewhere, part of his mind aware that people saw them, but not caring that they did. He smiled at Jack and laughed at his jokes, letting his guard down completely, taking in the experience of being with Jack deeply into his soul. The freedom of it was incredible, and Daniel had never felt more alive than at that moment.

 

It seemed as if the whole universe had narrowed down to that one table and the two of them. The candle between them was the sun, its light gleaming in Jack’s eyes. Moving the candle aside, Daniel leaned closer, half standing as he whispered in Jack’s ear, telling him how much he missed living with him, sleeping with him, waking up with him.

 

When he sat back down, those brown eyes were ablaze with desire, and Jack quickly looked away.  Apparently, Jack wasn’t ready to feel that way, and Daniel hoped he hadn’t been too forward. 

 

He glanced down at his plate, wondering when he had ordered lasagna. The whole evening seemed to be sort of a blur, and he was far from ready for it to be over. He let go of Jack’s hand and started to reach for his fork.

 

“The food’s great,” Jack said softly, spearing a slice of steamed carrots from his side dish. “You’ve hardly touched yours, Daniel. Here, try some of this. You need to eat more vegetables.” He reached his fork across the table to Daniel’s mouth.

 

There was something so warm and caring about Jack feeding him that Daniel obeyed without thinking, his eyes on Jack’s face. He looked a little embarrassed at having done that, so Daniel picked up his garlic bread and tore off a small hunk. He handed it across the table, repeating the gesture, and Jack grinned slightly before he opened his mouth to accept the morsel.

 

Jack’s lips brushed Daniel’s thumb and that contact sent a shockwave of desire straight to Daniel’s groin. His hand was trembling as he pulled it back to his lap. He missed Jack. He wanted him, and visions of him naked in their bed made it difficult to breathe for a moment.

 

Daniel had no idea how they made it through the rest of the meal. By the time he’d managed to get himself calmed down, his plate was empty and his stomach was tied up in knots. Jack was staring at him across the table, looking sexy as hell and terrified, both of them uncertain what to do next.

 

Mustering all the calm he could manage, Daniel suggested to Jack that he pay the check so they could go home. He obeyed dumbly, handing over some cash without a word, not taking his eyes off Daniel.

 

When the waiter returned with the change, Daniel parceled out an appropriate tip and gave the rest of the money back to Jack, prompting him to put it in his wallet when it didn’t look like he was going to pick it up.

 

“Oh. Yeah. Wasn’t thinking,” he muttered, reaching for the cash and stuffing it into his pants pocket.

 

As they rose from the table to leave, Daniel leaned over and gave Jack a soft, warm kiss on the lips and was surprised at how blissfully good that felt. He caught the eye of a man and woman at the next table who were staring at them in obvious shock and gave them a smile and a wink. He didn’t know them and didn’t care to do so, and their apparent disapproval of his show of affection meant absolutely nothing to him. They could go on living in their small-minded world.  He was sure that his was much bigger and happier than theirs, and that was all that mattered to him.  He didn’t know if Jack had seen them or not, but if he had, Daniel was sure Jack didn’t give a rat’s ass how they felt about what they’d just seen.

 

By the time they returned home, Daniel realized he’d had a great time, one of the best he’d ever had with Jack. Things were starting to register, things he hadn’t been truly aware of since he’d agreed to an intimate relationship with Jack. He’d been holding back because he’d been ashamed of being seen as a gay man, afraid of what other people would think of him. He hadn’t even been able to admit the truth to himself.

 

Now, however, he realized that he was a gay man; or at least, bisexual. He and Jack were lovers, and there was no finer man, no finer person, on the planet than the one who had fallen for him. Daniel had every reason to be proud of his relationship with Jack, and accepting that, concentrating only on him and his needs, felt incredibly liberating.

 

He kissed Jack on the doorstep and stepped away. “I’m going back to the base to pick up a few things for overnight, so I’ll be back in an hour or so,” he told his lover. “I’ll be moving back in for good tomorrow, after work. Okay?”

 

Jack nodded. He looked a little lost. “Maybe you should stay at the base tonight,” he suggested, gaze on the ground.

 

Daniel shook his head.  “I think you need me tonight, Jack,” he said gently.  “I know I need you.  That double bed in the guest room is kinda small for two guys our size, but it’ll have to do.”  He gave Jack’s hand a squeeze and let go.  “And I want to let you know how proud I am that you chose me to be your lover.  I enjoyed tonight.  It was… romantic.”

 

Jack cleared his throat, shoving his hands into his pockets.  “It didn’t bother you, being seen with me like that?  Touching me in public?”

 

“Not anymore,” Daniel assured him, moving another step away.  “I’ll be right back.”

 

“Why don’t I go with you?  You can drop me in the parking lot, and I can pick up my truck.” Jack hesitated.  He smiled slightly. “And maybe go by the storage place for my TV.”

 

“Sounds good to me. Go ahead and lock up, and I’ll be waiting in the car.”  He hobbled off the front porch and out to the car, feeling a whole lot better about everything in general. Moments later, they were on their way to the base and by late evening, he was back home. He laid out his clothes for the next day on that tiny, crummy cot, put his shaving kit into the master bathroom and unpacked his toothbrush first, setting it into the holder next to Jack’s, where it belonged. 

 

When he was finished with unpacking and getting ready for bed, he went to the spare room, led by the sound of the television now sitting on top of the bureau, its bluish light the only illumination in the room. Jack was already in bed, the remote control in his hand as it lay on his belly on top of the covers, his eyes closed in sleep. The covers were tucked under his arm, partially covered by the short sleeve of his T-shirt.

 

Daniel limped toward the bed, set his cane and glasses aside on the nightstand and started to unbutton his shirt. He dropped it on the floor, then sat down on the small bed and took off his shoes and socks.

 

“There isn’t really room for two in this thing,” Jack told him flatly with a sleepy sigh.

 

“I thought you were sleeping.  Anyway, there’s plenty of room for really close friends,” Daniel assured him.

 

“I’ll go sleep on the sofa,” Jack suggested, and started to rise. “You can have the bed.”

 

Daniel turned to face his erstwhile lover, grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him back down. “Uh-uh.  No, you don’t.  If you go to the couch, I’ll just follow you out there and sleep on the floor beside you.  Pick your spot, Jack.”

 

With another sigh, Jack relaxed under the covers, turned off the TV and put the remote on the nightstand.

 

Daniel slipped between the sheets, closed his eyes, and remembered touching Jack, kissing him. He remembered the feel of their bodies together as they made love, every caress an act of reverent worship. He remembered how Jack looked with his eyes closed, his back arched off the bed, holding onto Daniel and gasping out his name as he came.

 

God, Jack was so beautiful! He had suffered so much. Daniel had a hell of a lot to make up for, and he was going to make sure Jack began the healing process tonight.

 

Daniel looked at the covers over Jack’s groin. There was no response there at all, not even when Daniel cuddled up to him, his arm wrapped around Jack’s waist. He didn’t dare reach lower, because he didn’t think either of them was ready for that.

 

Jack rolled onto his side, facing Daniel, and scooted back as close to the edge of the mattress as he could get, to make room for Daniel and attempting to put a little extra space between their lower bodies. “Nothing’s gonna happen tonight, Daniel,” he said slowly. “It’s been… It’s been a rough few months.” He rose up on one elbow while Daniel pulled at the covers until they were arranged over both of them to his liking.

 

“It’s been rough for both of us,” Daniel agreed, turning his head slightly to look up at Jack.

 

“I think we should take it slow,” Jack returned, his voice still flat, emotionless. “Just let it happen when it happens.”

 

“What’s that old saying about falling off a horse?”

 

“You can’t ride a dead horse, Daniel.”

 

“You’re not dead, Jack.”

 

“Not all of me, no.” He eased back down to the bed, wedged his arm into the crowded space between them, and settled his head into the pillow. His movements were hesitant as tentatively laid his hand on Daniel’s side, sliding into an embrace as they faced each other, nose to nose. 

 

Daniel snuggled closer, his knees just touching Jack’s. “God, I’ve missed you so much, Jack,” he murmured.  “I’ve missed this.”  He took a moment to just study that beloved face, so much of it cast in deep shadow, the silver of Jack’s hair glistening in the dim light like a halo around his head.  “Missed us.” 

 

“This is enough,” Jack whispered into his ear. “It’s all I need.”  He placed a gentle kiss on Daniel’s temple as he pulled back.

 

“No, it’s not,” Daniel assured him. “I love you.  I don’t think I’ve made that too clear, especially lately. I need for you to know.”

 

“I do. You’re here. It’s enough.” Jack kissed his forehead and settled back into the pillow, closing his eyes with a weary sigh.

 

Daniel gazed happily at the man he loved so deeply. “I trust you,” he said simply. “Kiss goodnight?”

 

Warm, dry lips pressed against his forehead again.

 

“That’s not good enough,” he returned with a slow smile. “I want tongue.”

 

“Tomorrow, Daniel.”

 

“Tonight.”

 

Jack rose up on one elbow again. “Damn, you’re high maintenance.”  He grinned down into his face.

 

“Hopefully, I’m worth it.”

 

Daniel could barely see the smile, but Jack’s voice echoed with love. “Yeah. You are.” He bent down slowly, his mouth barely touching Daniel’s, just breathing there for a moment, sharing Daniel’s breath.

 

Chastely, Jack pressed his lips to Daniel’s, his teeth stroking in a smooth glide over Daniel’s lower lip. He nibbled on it, sucked it into his mouth, caressed it with the tip of his tongue.  Daniel couldn’t help groaning and opened his mouth for Jack, who was being entirely too shy for Daniel’s taste.

 

He reached up and clasped the back of Jack’s neck, bringing him down closer, deepening the kiss, invading Jack’s mouth with his tongue. Jack’s fingers worshipped his face, making Daniel whimper with need. He wanted Jack, but this wasn’t the right time, and he quelled the desire heating his belly as Jack pulled away.

 

“Good night, Daniel,” he whispered.

 

“Night.”

 

Jack relaxed against his pillows and in just a few breaths had drifted into sleep.

 

Daniel lay awake for a long time, thinking and planning, figuring out the best way for him to make peace with his past and move on toward a healthy, well adjusted future with the man he loved.

 

~~**~~

 

**1 June**

A Week Later

 

“I thought that went pretty well,” said Daniel, making an effort to be upbeat, as they strolled off the UC Berkeley campus.  “Doctor Albright ought to work out just fine at the SGC. She’s high in her field, thinks outside the box, and is in good physical condition. Don’t you think she’ll be good?”  He turned to look at the stunning man walking beside him.

 

Behind the aviator shades he wore, Jack’s eyes were roaming the campus, threat assessing as always.  He’d worn his Class A’s for the meeting, but even without the uniform, his military bearing would have been apparent.  They’d come to UC on Uncle’s Sam’s business, however, and he’d wanted to look the part.  Even though Jack was retired, he could still wear the uniform when he chose, and this interview had been important, even if the person they’d gone to meet was as liberal as they came.  The uniform had made an impression, lending an air of gravity to the meeting that had been taken seriously, just as Jack had intended.

 

“Doctor Allison Albright dresses like a Salvation Army donation box blew up on her,” Jack returned with an air of irritation.  “She looks like she’s sixteen and can’t talk without popping her gum.  She will not fit in at the SGC, Daniel. Trust me on that.”

 

“It’s not a matter of fitting in,” Daniel argued patiently, giving him a little nudge with his elbow.  “She’s smart and dynamic.  Once she gets a look at what’s going on under the mountain, I’ll bet you ten bucks she’ll be kicking enemy butt in no time!”

 

Turning to look at his companion with unabashed joy, Jack had to work to smother the grin on his face.  “You liked her, huh?”

 

Daniel sniffed a little, his eyebrows rising with an air of academic superiority.  “I think she’ll be fun,” he admitted. “We could use a few fun people at the SGC.”

 

Eyebrows lifting, Jack teased, “I’m fun.  Don’t you think I’m fun?”

 

Daniel rolled his eyes as if on cue. “Jack…”  He heaved a heavy sigh.  “Of course you’re fun.  I meant we need more fun people in the academic department.  Everyone’s so damned serious in there.”

 

Jack looked down at Daniel’s hand, which had just brushed against his own as they strolled across the campus.  For most of the last four days, Daniel had touched him as often as possible, both at home, and everywhere else, except in the mountain.  Anytime they were on the base or in uniform he was all business, except for an occasional look when no one else was watching.  Jack never realized how sly Daniel could be when he wanted, and he also seemed to be happily practicing his sensuality, with an audience of one.

 

It had been funny at first.  The night Daniel had moved back in, he’d been in the living room, digging through several boxes, sorting through his things while Jack had been in the kitchen making dinner.  He’d asked what Jack thought was sexy about him, apparently just being playful.  But Jack took the question seriously.  A couple of times a very surprised Daniel had poked his head around the door just to stare at Jack as he’d rattled off his seemingly endless list.

 

Jack had pursed his lips and stared at the ceiling in thought. “Well,” he’d begun, “there’s when you’re licking your lips. When you look up at me through your eyelashes. When you smile. Or laugh.  Or frown at me.  When you’re sleeping. Or awake.  Naked – especially when you’re naked. Or in tight clothes, loose clothes, whatever. When you’re wet. Dry.  Thinking, figuring out stuff.  Reading. Watching TV.  Working. Relaxing.  Eating. Drinking.  When you’re fondling your cane, it just does something to me.  Fondling artifacts. Old artifacts, like me. Fondling a hopeless old retired colonel we both know. You’re just sexy, Daniel.  All sexy, all the time.”

 

The list had been filled with jokes and teases as well as honest turn-ons, and surprisingly enough, Daniel had paid attention. That first week living together had been both familiar and strange, with moments of self-consciousness mixed with routine so comfortable they hardly noticed each other.  Jack had often looked up to find Daniel studying him, a slow smile moving from his mouth up into his eyes, followed by a long deliberate swipe of his tongue over his full lower lip.

 

It had taken a moment for Jack to realize Daniel was doing it on purpose; Daniel, who learned a lesson well and never forgot it. The scamp had been teasing him, flirting, tempting him intentionally. Seduction dressed in sweats and a T-shirt. All sexy, all the time.

 

Jack had sat in his chair in the den, transfixed and feeling a definite stir of desire he wasn’t yet ready to acknowledge.

 

Then he’d thrown the TV remote he’d been holding at Daniel to start the fun and chased him out into the yard, carefully tackling him down onto the lawn in slow motion and rolling around with him in the twilight heat.  They’d ended up lying in the grass together, Jack’s head on Daniel’s belly, looking up at the stars, and just talking until very late.

 

They’d been taking their time, careful not to let things escalate between them, both afraid of intimacy experienced too soon.  They’d had regular sessions with Doctor Stevenson and had even had their first counseling with her as a couple.  That had gone well, though they’d each expressed their hesitancy regarding resuming their sex life.  Her advice had been to trust their instincts and each other, and follow their hearts. They would know when the time was right, and if one got there ahead of the other, to be patient and kind until both were ready.

 

So they’d waited.

 

They’d slept in the same bed, enthusiastically kissed each other good night and cuddled a little, but neither had been willing to take it farther than that.

 

Now, however, looking down at their hands brushing against each other as they walked, Jack began to wonder if maybe it might be time to take a giant step in that direction.  And from the way Daniel was looking at him, he seemed to think so, too.  His head was tilted, a wisp of a smile on his face, beautiful blue eyes blinking slowly, lazily, coolly assessing Jack’s state of mind.  One look at Daniel’s face felt like the purifying shower of a warm southern rain in the landscape of Jack’s soul, washing away his lingering doubts.

 

Jack’s dick was sitting up and taking notice.  “You’re makin’ me hard, here, Daniel,” he warned in a low voice, only half teasing.  “Stop lookin’ at me like that.”  He sidestepped a bit to put a few inches of space between them.  “Holy shit,” he hissed under his breath, those damn dimples and that smile giving him a sunburn.

 

“Like what, Jack?”  Daniel’s grin grew a little wider.  His eyes were twinkling.  There was no innocence to be had in that sweetly wicked face. He knew exactly what he was doing to the man at his side.

 

“If you don’t stop, I’m gonna nail you to that tree over there,” Jack cautioned a little more strongly, his voice still soft and deep. He pointed in the general direction of a park across the street as he spoke, his gaze affixed to Daniel’s face.  His libido had awakened with a vengeance, and fantasies of taking Daniel up against a tree sent a shaft of heat straight to his groin.  “Holy fuckin’ shit!” he mumbled under his breath again as he wrenched his eyes front and center and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other.

 

“Promises, promises,” Daniel challenged huskily, drawing close and leaning his arm against Jack’s as they walked.  His grin widened.  “So.  How fast do you think we can make it to the hotel?” he asked in a deep, sexy growl.

 

Jack wanted to take Daniel’s hand and kiss it.  He wanted to stop walking, take Daniel in his arms and lay a big one right on his naughty mouth, but Jack was cognizant of where they were and the roles they were still playing.  They were professionals on business.  As long as they were on the campus and he was in uniform, they had to act like it.  But as soon as they were in their hotel…

 

“I’m just gonna go get the car.  I’ll meet you at the end of the sidewalk, okay?”

 

Dimples flashed again and Jack’s groin saluted.  He groaned.  “God, what you do to me, Danny,” he moaned. “Shove that cane into overdrive, willya?”  He loped off towards the parking lot, forcing his cock to deflate on the way.  By the time he was buckled into the driver’s seat and Daniel got the passenger door open, it was making its presence known again, tenting up his pants.

 

Daniel just hummed a happy little tune, looking out the windows as Jack drove toward the hotel.  He was drumming his fingers on his thigh impatiently, twitching and wriggling in his seat. Then suddenly he went still.

 

“Jack!  Pull in, right here!”

 

Screeching on the brakes, Jack whipped his head around, his heart thudding in his chest at the unexpected, forceful command.  They were almost at their destination, just a couple of blocks away from the hotel, and visions of naked Daniel-sized sugarplums were already dancing in his head.  He glanced toward where Daniel was pointing and automatically pulled into the driveway, slowing down enough to read the sign.

 

“A nursery, Daniel?” he growled incredulously, his libido losing significant steam.  “You want to go to a nursery right now?”

 

Daniel was already unclipping his seat belt and getting out of the car.  “It’ll just take a minute.  I thought I saw something…” And he was off.

 

The man could still move fast, even with his disability, when he set his mind to it.

 

Jack sighed, dutifully parked the car, and got out to hunt for his vanished lover.  The summer heat was getting to him as soon as he stepped outside the air-conditioned car, and since the official business was over, Jack tossed his cap into the car, took off his jacket and tie, and draped them over the seat.  He undid the top two buttons and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt for a little extra comfort.  Aside from the shiny military shoes, he now looked like any other businessman, and was definitely more comfortable.  Tucking his sunglasses into his shirt pocket, he strode across the parking lot in search of his lover.

 

Entering the glassed-in showroom, Jack glanced up and down the plant-filled aisles.  No Daniel.  He went down the ramp into the adjoining hothouse, scanning over the waist-high tables covered with plants in starter pots, but there was no Daniel.  He hurried into the outdoor area where big clay pots, flagstones and burlap-bagged trees were kept, but Daniel wasn’t there either.

 

Wandering back out into the parking lot, Jack scanned the area and went around the other side of the nursery toward what looked like a small office building set away from the nursery proper, well past the back of the big hothouse.  A flagstone path joined the office to the parking lot, and as Jack neared the little building, he noticed a rose bush planted near the door, already in bloom.  He went over closer to examine it, mesmerized by the unusual flowers.

 

The sound of Daniel’s voice wafted to him from inside the building, and Jack turned away from the bush to glance through the propped-open glass door.  Daniel was sitting in the guest chair, leaning on the cane between his knees, chatting away with the woman behind the desk.  She was smiling and nodding, obviously being charmed right out of her mind, so Jack let him do whatever it was he was doing and went back to looking at the bush.

 

He squatted down and reached out to examine the thriving plant.  The thick green branches were covered with thorns of various sizes, so it wouldn’t be an easy rose to handle or convenient as a cut flower.  The leaves were dark green and glossy with a hint of brooding purple in the veins, but the flowers were what caught and held the eye.  It was a floribunda type, similar in shape to a tea rose but with more abundant blooms per bush than tea roses.  The buds were long and pointed, snowy white, blushing the slightest pink at the lips.  In awe, Jack touched one of the open blooms, running his fingertips over the satiny insides of the petals, which were a vivid, flawless scarlet.  Barely a hint of the brilliant red showed through the white outsides of the petals, and only where the flesh was thinnest.

 

Jack had never seen a rose like it before, and he was hypnotized by it.  He had to know what it was, and if they were available at that nursery.  He stood up, unable to stop staring at it, already picturing it in his garden.

 

He turned to see Daniel step out of the office, breathless and excited, his eyes sparkling, his color pinker than usual. “We got it!” he crowed, looking Jack in the eye.  “This is the one, isn’t it, Jack?” He looked down at the rosebush, pointing at it.  “The red and the white.  Soldier and scholar. War and peace. It’s us, Jack!  Dear Daniel and Love, Jack.”  He looked back up at Jack and there were tears in his eyes; tears of joy, illuminating his shining smile.  “See?  I told you we’d be together when we found it, and know it when we saw it!”

 

“Yes, Daniel,” he agreed softly.  “It is us.  Two sides of the same petal.”  He turned to the woman standing in the doorway, watching them.  “Whatever it costs, ma’am, we want one of these rosebushes.”

 

She chuckled and shook her head.  “As I was explaining to your friend, here, this variety is called Snowfire, and you don’t know what you’re asking for there, buddy,” she said cheerfully.  “I know you think you might want it because it’s so striking, but it’s just full of problems. So thorny you can’t cut flowers for the table.  Temperamental as hell, and blooms best in the first year, kinda on the pissy side after that. Prone to fungus. This is not a rose for a novice gardener.”

 

“Fungus?” asked Daniel, looking at Jack for explanation.

 

He grinned widely and gave his partner a wink.  “Kinda like rosebush allergies, Daniel.” 

 

He turned to the woman in the office.  “I’ve been caring for another rose just like that for the past eight years.  I think I’ll be able to handle it just fine.”  He reached into his back pocket for his credit card and handed it over.  “When can you ship us one?”

 

“That depends.  What zone are you in?”

 

Jack gave her the specifics while he watched Daniel sit down on the concrete stoop and very carefully reach out and pull one of the blooms toward him, taking a deep, slow sniff and rubbing the petals along his lips.  The sight made Jack’s heart ache, as he watched perfection appreciating perfection.  Life was good. 

 

Half an hour later, they arrived at the hotel and returned to Daniel’s room.  Daniel carried the single Snowfire bloom the nursery woman had cut for them and carefully set it on the nightstand.  She’d given them a beautiful lead crystal bud vase for it, clear except for its ruby base.  Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Daniel couldn’t take his eyes off the rose.

 

After taking off his shoes, Jack scooted onto the bed right behind him and put his arms around Daniel’s chest, resting his chin on Daniel’s shoulder to regard the flower with him.

 

“It’s perfect,” he said softly. Just like you, he thought to himself, as he had back at the nursery.

 

“The last thing missing from our garden,” agreed Daniel.  “I can’t believe we found it.”

 

“Yep, things are really shaping up now.”  Jack let go of him and fell back on his pillow with a sigh.  “Well, there is that spot back in the trees that still needs something,” he mused, clasping his hands behind his head.

 

Daniel twisted around to face him.  “No, it’s all done,” he assured him with a smile.  “Or it will be, by the time we get back home.”

 

Raising an eyebrow in Daniel’s direction, Jack asked, “Really?  I thought you told me you were broke?”

 

Daniel reached down to slip off his shoes and socks.  He pulled off his glasses and set them on the nightstand with the rose.  “Well, I sort of am.  I mean, my paycheck has probably been direct deposited since Friday, so I may have some money by now, but I paid for all the garden stuff two weeks ago.  It just took a while for the fabrics to get here from Egypt, and I didn’t want anything else going up until that arrived, so I arranged for it to be put together while we’re away this week,” he announced in a matter of fact voice.  He took off his shirt and tossed it on the floor, then started to unbutton his pants.  “It should be ready for our anniversary after we get home.”

 

“Egypt?”  Both Jack’s eyebrows went up.  “Anniversary?”

 

“You don’t remember?”  Daniel turned around and shot him a look.  “On June seventh.  That was when I gave my answer to your coded message.”  He blushed slightly.  “That was when we made love the first time, Jack.  Don’t tell me you forgot!”

 

“And if I had?  You gonna get all bent outta shape at me and not speak to me for a week?”  Jack rolled onto his side and got up on one elbow, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth, his face relaxed, obviously teasing. 

 

Daniel rolled his eyes and reached into the nightstand drawer for the little bottle of Astroglide he’d secreted there earlier, setting it out in handy reach.  “Consider this your advance warning.  Do you want a daily reminder, or would you rather just blow it off completely?  ‘Cause I have plans.”

 

He seemed to be hinting about potential smuttiness and naughty behavior.

 

Jack grinned broadly, picking up on the hint instantly.  “Yeah?  What kinda plans?”

 

Turning back to the task at hand, Daniel unfastened his pants and leaned back on the bed to push them off along with his underwear.  He scooted back a bit and his head landed on Jack’s belly as he turned to look into his lover’s face.  “You’re still dressed,” he observed in a casual voice.  “I thought we were gonna… you know.”

 

Jack took a handful of Daniel’s long mane and dragged his fingers through it, loving the silky feel of it against his fingers and belly.  “What kinda plans?  And aren’t you just Mister Romantic all of a sudden.”

 

 “Get naked, Jack.”  Daniel gave him an impatient look.  “And that’s Doctor Romantic, to you.”

 

With a low chuckle, Jack slid out from under him and got up to take off his own clothes.  Suddenly self-conscious and more than a little overwhelmed, he kept his back to Daniel.  He could hear him turning down the bed and getting under the covers.  Jack was trying desperately to tamp down his excitement and not get ahead of himself or expect too much.

 

As soon as Jack’s shirt came off, Daniel said, “Your tattoos,” a note of surprise in his voice. “Huh.”

 

Oh, shit.

 

Jack had forgotten about them, since he never saw them.  His mind scrambled for something to say, but a small, quiet voice in the depths of his soul reminded him that this was Daniel.  He deserved the truth, and nothing less.

 

Jack sat down on the bed, lifted the covers, and started to lie down until he felt Daniel’s fingers touch his back. He sat very still, his feet still on the floor, and waited, trying to look at Daniel over his shoulder to gauge his reaction. 

 

He knew Daniel might be angry that Jack had let someone else see what he’d painted there, and even though no one outside of the SGC would ever be able to read the alien text, Jack knew it had been something personal for them both.  Letting a tattoo artist etch the secret words into his skin might be seen as another betrayal, something meant to stay just between them now made permanent for anyone to see, and Jack didn’t want that.  He swallowed hard, still trying to figure out how to respond, how to get the words out of explanation of his mouth. 

 

“The tattoos, they...” Daniel’s fingers rubbed at Jack’s skin.  “They didn’t wear off.  How come?  The last time I touched them up was right before you… we… um, before we broke up.  That was almost two months ago, and they’re still clear and sharp.”

 

“Uh.”  Jack glanced over his shoulder and then back down at the floor. Anxiety rose, and he lay down slowly on his back, looking straight up at the ceiling.  “I… uh… I had the design permanently applied.  The tattoo artist thought it was some weird barcode.”

 

Oh, how he hoped Daniel understood!  Jack had no idea how Daniel felt about real tattoos, or about that private message being permanently imprinted on his lover’s skin for anyone to see.

 

“It was while you were.  Um, gone.  I…I thought we were finished,” Jack explained, blinking at the ceiling.  “I couldn’t lose the words you wrote for me, even if I never see them.  I had to keep that letter you wrote me, to have it with me for the rest of my life.  You’re my last partner, Daniel.” 

 

After a moment of silence, Jack turned his head on the pillow and risked a glance as his lover.  “There won’t be anyone after you, and your letter was all I had of you that I could keep.  I couldn’t let it just fade away to nothing.”   

 

“Jack O’Neill, you’re a romantic sap, you know that?”  Daniel was grinning, obviously pleased.  He leaned over and planted a big kiss on Jack’s cheek, then gave him a couple of teasing pokes in the side. 

 

Jack caught at his hand and just held it to prevent any possible tickling that might follow.  He was breathless with relief.  “Just don’t tell anybody about the sap, okay?” asked Jack gruffly.  “I’ve got a rep to protect.  Fear to instill in wet-behind-the-ears recruits, even if I am just a civilian trainer.  You know?”

 

With a soft sigh of approval, Daniel nodded.  “I know, Jack.  This is just for me, and I love that about you.”  He scooted down on the pillows, wriggling over to the middle of the bed.  He looked at Jack with love in his eyes and asked, “Want me to read it to you again?”

 

Even though he had the message memorized from all the times Daniel had “read” it to him before, Jack nodded, let go of Daniel’s hand, and started to turn over.

 

“No, get on top of me, Jack.”

 

“What?”  Jack saw Daniel swallow hard, uncertainty warring with desire in his eyes.  “How’re you gonna read it when you can’t see it?”

 

“I want you to lie on top of me,” Daniel explained again, patiently.  “I don’t have to see it, you know, since I memorized it long ago.  Just get on top of me so I can hold you, and I’ll read it with my fingers, like you taught me in love school. Remember?”

”Oh.”  That seemed like a lifetime ago, almost as if it had happened to someone else. Jack stared at Daniel, devouring him with his eyes, wanting that moment to go on forever.

 

Daniel understood his hesitation and reached out to touch his face, rubbing his thumb from Jack’s chin up the curve of his jaw.  “Just belly fucking, okay?” he murmured.  “I think that’ll be a good start for us.”

 

A wave of relief surged through Jack, and he nodded.  Carefully, he turned over beneath the covers and crawled on top of Daniel, settling himself gently down between Daniel’s open legs, resting his upper body on his elbows.

 

For a moment they just looked at each other.  “Can you tell I’m scared shitless?” asked Jack breathlessly, aware of his heart pounding in his chest, and a similar rhythm beating against him in his lover.

 

Daniel pulled the covers up over Jack’s back, making a little cocoon for them in the cool room.  “That would be two of us, then,” Daniel agreed.  “So, maybe we should try kissing.  I mean, neither one of us is even hard, here.”

 

“Part of that scared shitless thing, I’m sure,” said Jack.

 

Daniel chuckled.  “Yeah.  I know.  But I imagine we’ll get over it, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” Jack breathed at him with a little smile.  “Hey, I thought you were gonna read the dusty old artifact,” Jack reminded him teasingly. The humor helped, and Jack felt himself starting to relax.

 

“You’re neither dusty nor old.”  Daniel’s hands came up around Jack’s back, the fingers of his right hand starting near the top of Jack’s left shoulder, pressing gently into his back, tracing across the characters now permanently inked into Jack’s skin.  He took a deep breath, looking happily into Jack’s eyes, and started to recite the love letter he’d written to Jack on his birthday.  “All my life, I have lived in a desert, a wasteland with no features but endless sand and sky.  Knowledge lit my universe, shining brightly by day, glowing by a million pinprick stars at night.”

 

Jack gazed down into those fathomless blue eyes staring straight back into his, and felt the warmth coiling up in his belly, the love he felt for this man steady and sure, fanning the coals of desire into life.  He felt at peace again with Daniel in his arms.  They were connecting again, all the tattered pieces and frayed ends of their souls knitting themselves back into a seamless whole.

 

Fears and uncertainties vanished.  Joy rose like the morning sun, and Jack pledged himself silently to this one man as he listened to the beautiful words his lover was murmuring, while Daniel’s fingers traced the neat rows of compressed alien text that neither of them could even see.

 

Daniel knew the landscape of Jack’s body by heart; every plane, every swell of muscle, the pattern of every hair.

 

“There were no walls in my barren world to keep people out, but I could not leave that place.  Sometimes I would glimpse others who traveled close, but no one ever managed to make the trek all the way to where I was.  No one but you.”

 

The fingers of Daniel’s left hand came up to cradle Jack’s cheek.  Jack closed his eyes and pressed against that warm palm, rubbing his face against it.  Daniel’s voice sent warm tendrils of delight all through Jack’s body, leaving only peace and pleasure in its wake.

 

“When you came to me, you stayed by my side, offering me shade in the heat of the day and warmth in the cold night.  You brought cooling water and rich, fertile earth and changed my barren world into a garden of unmatched beauty.  With a sweep of your heart, you changed my desert to Eden, and helped me understand that there is more in the universe than the cold satisfaction of knowledge.”

 

Jack whispered his lover’s name and opened his eyes to regard him again.  He leaned onto one elbow so he could move his hands up, where he could reach Daniel’s face.  Tenderly, he laid his fingertips lightly against Daniel’s lips so he could feel the words that came next.

 

“There is faith and hope and love, bright things I never truly grasped before.  I have always had trouble believing in gods, but from the beginning…  I have always believed in you.”

 

For a long time they just held each other’s gaze, the silence in the room absolute except for the sounds of their soft breathing and their own heartbeats in their ears.  Jack ran the backs of his fingers along Daniel’s cheek, looking into those amazing eyes, watching Daniel memorizing his face all over again.

 

Jack took a deep, slow breath.  “I’ve always believed in you, too, Danny. God, yes. I know I’ve failed you so many times in the past, but you were always there for me.”

 

“Not when it mattered most,” Daniel corrected, rolling his head slightly from side to side on the pillow.  “I walked out on you when you needed me most.  The one time you really needed me to listen and understand, I cut you out of my life.  I should’ve listened when you tried to explain, and I didn’t.”

 

“You couldn’t,” Jack argued back gently.  “I hurt you too much.  I knew that.  I understood.”

 

“Never again,” Daniel swore, his hand wrapping around Jack’s nape, holding onto him, shaking him a little bit for emphasis.  “From now on, we hold back nothing from each other.  Promise me, Jack.”

 

“I never meant to hurt you,” Jack assured him.  “And I never will again, babe.  I promise.  I’d rather die first.”  He moved his fingers to Daniel’s cheek, stroking the beginnings of five o’clock shadow and trailing into his sideburns.

 

Daniel nodded.  “I know.  And as crazy as it sounds to say this, I think all this was a good thing for us.  If it hadn’t happened, we’d both still be right where we were, locked in our pasts, with no way to really give our whole selves to each other.”  He swallowed hard.  “I think, maybe, if we can share those really big, ugly secrets with each other, we can survive anything.”

 

“Yeah,” Jack said in a hoarse whisper, “I think so, too.”

 

Daniel’s eyes roved all over Jack’s face, taking in every inch of him.  His voice was husky and deep when he commanded softly, “Kiss me, Jack, and don’t stop till I tell you to.”  His hands moved down to the small of Jack’s back and began to knead, his fingers rippling in gentle little waves across Jack’s skin.

 

With a groan, Jack’s eyes closed, losing himself in that magical, familiar touch. He bent his head to Daniel, just stroking his dry lips over his lover’s, feeling the heat of his breath and the smooth flesh of his lips and drinking it in. “God, how I’ve missed this, Danny,” he whispered. ”Missed you. Missed us.”

 

“Mmmm,” agreed Daniel.  His tongue darted out and flicked against Jack’s lower lip. “Kiss me,” he begged hungrily.

 

Jack pressed his lips to Daniel’s and they parted instantly.  He tasted Daniel, nibbling his lower lip, sucking gently on it while the fire in his belly quickly spread through the rest of him.  He raised himself up on his knees to allow both their erections to spring upward against their bellies, and settled gently back over Daniel.  He gave a tentative little push against that hard abdomen and felt his cock pull at the tender skin there.

 

They needed some kind of lubrication, and he pulled away from Daniel’s hungry mouth, shifting off him to lie at his side, reaching for the bottle of Astroglide on the nightstand.

 

“Don’t go!”  Daniel cried softly, grasping at him.

 

“Not goin’ anywhere, babe,” Jack promised, dropping the bottle on the bed beside them for later.  Jack wanted to explore, to rediscover all of Daniel’s body with every part of him.  Daniel turned onto his side facing Jack, and Jack kissed him again, delving deeply into his mouth, searching everywhere with his tongue while his hands probed every swell of muscle and bone, every pliable inch of what Jack could reach of his lover. 

 

Passion built until Jack lay trembling beside him, his heart banging against his ribs, hands roughly seeking.  Daniel writhed against the bed and Jack’s body, his hands clawing at Jack, demanding and needy.  They broke apart to breathe, and Jack turned his lips to exploring Daniel’s neck and collarbones, his tongue dipping into the sweet hollow of his throat, his teeth grazing over the hard bones beside it.  Jack moved down to Daniel’s chest, tasting the salty sheen now flavoring his skin.  He suckled Daniel’s hardened nipple, groaning at the sharp, loud response that got, and then Daniel’s hands were in his short hair, pulling him harder against his chest, his body pressing upward to Jack’s lips.

 

He took Daniel’s nipple between his teeth and nipped it gently, just the way he knew Daniel liked it, and was rewarded with an ecstatic shout as Daniel arched off the bed.  Jack’s hand swept down Daniel’s belly, one finger dipping into his navel briefly, then skimming downward to firmly grasp Daniel’s stiff cock.  Jack groaned, reveling in the feel of his lover’s hardness in his hand, that silky flesh so hot and smooth.  He squeezed and got a deep, breathless grunt that made him smile and turn his attention to Daniel’s other nipple while he stroked and fondled Daniel’s cock and balls.

 

Jack felt like a starving man.  He wanted to be gentle, but the strength of his desire and Daniel’s responses, urging him for more, harder, faster, pushed him beyond reason.  He swept downward and took Daniel’s cock in his mouth, sucking him, laving him, heedless of his teeth in his desperate need to have all of Daniel, some tiny part of his mind aware that he should slow down, be more careful, but unable to comply.

 

“Yes!”  Daniel cried, his hands holding Jack’s head to him as he thrust into his mouth.  “Oh, God, Jack, yes!  Suck me.  Fuck me.  God, Jack, I love you!”  He was whimpering now, and Jack knew he was close.

 

He wanted to come with his lover and climbed on top of him, settling between Daniel’s spread legs.  Quickly, he picked up the Astroglide, flipped open the cap with his thumb and drizzled some of it on Daniel’s belly, then capped it and dropped it on the bed.  Jack lay on top of Daniel and took his face in his hands and kissed him, hard and hungry, teeth bruising Daniel’s lips as he thrust against his lover’s glistening belly and spit-slicked cock.  Daniel clutched at him, his fingers digging into Jack’s back and buttocks, his left leg hooking over Jack’s back to hold him tighter still.

 

Jack jammed himself against Daniel, hips pistoning into the slippery void between their bodies. “Daniel,” he gasped, tearing himself away from that hot mouth.  “I’m gonna—“

 

“Yes!”  Daniel cried, thrusting hard against Jack, his hips rising off the bed as he came, throbbing against Jack’s belly, his whole body clenched with pleasure and passion.

 

Jack was only an instant behind him, his mouth latched onto Daniel’s neck, sucking hard, with Daniel’s hands on his head, holding him tighter.  He used his teeth, marking Daniel, leaving a bruise, and clinging to him for dear life as his cock pulsed with his lover’s. He felt the hot, sticky fluid gluing them together and thrust a few more times when he could bear it, rocking Daniel gently with his quickly dwindling cock.  When the hardness was gone, he just lay quietly, wrapped up in Daniel, thinking he was the luckiest man on this or any other planet in the universe.

 

“Love you,” Daniel whispered, his left hand coming up to massage the back of Jack’s neck.  “That was…”

 

Jack felt Daniel’s cheeks stiffen with a smile against his neck, just as he was seriously thinking about moving his nose out of the pillow so he could breathe soon.

 

“…very nice,” Daniel finished on a sigh.

 

“Mmmmm,” Jack agreed, finally releasing his lip-lock on Daniel’s neck.  He turned his head to suck in a much-needed breath and sighed it out, utterly at peace, happier than he could ever remember being in his whole life.  “Am I too heavy?”

 

Daniel’s arms closed around him and held him in place.  “Move and I’ll hurt you,” he teased, followed by a half-smothered snicker.  “I’m not fragile, you know.  You’re just fine, right where you are.”

 

“That’s good, because I don’t think I can move right now.”  Jack felt how his body was molded to Daniel’s, the sticky, gooey come on their bellies gluing them together, the sensation of Daniel’s soft cock nestled right beside his own, and smiled.  This was the greatest feeling in the world, and he wanted it to last forever.  He just needed one more thing -- another look at that beautiful, sexy, just-fucked expression.

 

Slowly, having to consciously command his body to move as he ordered, he raised himself up on his elbows and looked down at Daniel.  His lips were dark pink and swollen from kissing.  He was flushed and sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, eyelashes stuck together with tears.  Tracks of wetness scrolled across his temples and into his hair, and Jack’s heart tightened a little at the sight, understanding instantly that they were tears of joy, shed during their lovemaking.  Daniel had never looked more beautiful.

 

“You okay, babe?”  Jack asked softly.

 

A huge smile flashed across Daniel’s face and he chuckled.  “Nope, not just okay.  I think I might have just ascended again.” 

 

“Kinda went all glowy, huh?’’  Jack gave him a light kiss on the lips.

 

“Yep.”

 

“Well, I think I went with you this time.”

 

Jack sighed and slowly moved off his lover, stretching out at his side, one leg nestled between Daniel’s, his hand settled on Daniel’s chest over his heart.  He pressed his face into Daniel’s neck, breathing in the musky man-scent, feeling the steady beat of Daniel’s heart against his palm.  Daniel’s right arm snaked around his shoulders, his left hand on top of Jack’s, fingers lightly curled around his palm.

 

They lay together like that for many minutes, both silent and involved with their thoughts, drowsing in the peaceful quiet of their room.

 

Jack finally stirred, hugging Daniel closer and nuzzling his shoulder.  “This is the happiest I’ve been in so long I can’t remember, Daniel,” he admitted quietly.  “Thank you.” 

 

“That makes two of us, then.”  Daniel’s cheek pressed against his hair.  “But you know what?”

 

“What?”  Jack lifted his head to look into his lover’s face.

 

Daniel’s stomach growled.  Loudly.

 

Jack chuckled.

 

“I’m hungry,” Daniel declared. “Wanna go get something to eat?”

 

“You are such a guy,” Jack shot back teasingly.  “Whatever happened to afterglow? To romance? Daniel, I’ve still got a lot to teach you about bedroom etiquette.”

 

“As long as I get fed first, it’s a deal.”  He eased out from under Jack, sat up, and hobbled toward the bathroom without his cane.

 

Jack spread himself out on the bed and listened for the shower to start.  The rose caught his eye and he stared at it, contemplating.  He got up on one elbow and leaned over to inhale its sweet fragrance, thinking about Daniel and how the nursery woman’s description of this variety of rose fit him so perfectly.  Then he thought about the name of the rose, and let his imagination run with that mental picture for a moment.

 

Snowfire.

 

He pictured a landscape covered in snow, and how beautiful that was.  The image of that same landscape consumed by symbolic, mystical fire followed it up, feeding the flames, destroying everything in the process.  Beneath a layer of ashes, the roots and bulbs and planted seeds would survive to re-emerge and color the landscape green again, then sleep beneath a blanket of spotless winter white, repeating itself in an endless cycle. The snow and the fire, heat and cold, summer and winter; eternal opposites, each element necessary to appreciate the qualities of the other.

 

That, too, was Daniel.  He was a man capable of both cold logic and passion so hot it scorched all who came into contact with it. He was also both soldier and scholar, yet underneath the snow and the fire, the intellect and the passion, he was a survivor.  Daniel had always found a way to come back to Jack, to bloom for him beneath his tender, patient care.

 

Daniel was the rose, all by himself.  Two sides of the same petal, snow and fire. He smiled, stroking his lips over the velvety petals as he had seen his lover do at the nursery.  The name, he thought, was perfectly appropriate to describe Daniel Jackson, as well as the two of them. Daniel would see the rose as symbolic of them as a couple, but to Jack, it would be an expression of Daniel himself.

 

Jack pictured the bush that would be arriving soon, thriving in the special bed built for it.  The dark green bush would stand out against the pale yellow stones, and the spectacular flowers would draw the eyes of everyone who saw them, just as they had Daniel’s when they’d been whizzing by the nursery in the car.

 

“Perfect,” mused Jack.  He ran his fingertips over the thorny stem, feeling the sharp prickles grazing his skin.  This was Daniel, all right.  Handle with care, deal with various problems as they arose, and stand back to watch him bloom and knock people’s eyes out with his beauty.

 

Yes, Jack thought to himself. This was indeed The One, just like Daniel himself. He was the Snowfire Rose, the one blossom that was like no other, just as his grandmother foretold, and once it was planted at his home, their garden would be complete.

 

~~**~~

 

**7 June**

A Week Later

 

Jack awoke alone, his hands instantly reaching over to Daniel’s side of their bed.  The sheets were cold, telling him that his lover had been up for a while.  The scent of fresh coffee drew him to turn and face the nightstand, and he smiled when he saw his favorite cup sitting in a saucer with a small card propped up against it.

 

He reached for the card first, rubbing bleary eyes to get them to focus.

 

The front read, “Happy Anniversary.”  The English greeting was surrounded in pale, multicolored scripts and symbols that told him Daniel had made the card for him, and that the various scripts in pastel colored pencil were the same greeting in many of languages his lover spoke.  Jack wondered if Daniel were even aware of just how brilliant and talented he was.

 

Somehow, Jack doubted that sort of thing ever crossed Daniel’s mind.

 

He opened the card and found an exquisite drawing of one of the Snowfire roses in all its beauty.  Above it, in Daniel’s handwriting, it said,  “Love Jack.”  Beneath it were the words,  “I do.  Dear Daniel.”

 

Jack chuckled at Daniel’s inventive reworking of his off-the-cuff description of the centerpiece plant he wanted for the garden, now thriving there.  It amazed Jack that Daniel remembered such throwaway comments, but that was one of the wonderful things he adored about the man.  One never knew what little details might make an impression and stick in his genius mind, only to come back enhanced and polished and made into something unforgettably beautiful, like this card.

 

He swallowed down the lump in his throat with a sip of coffee, sitting on the side of the bed and appreciating the early morning sunshine.  They had both scheduled the day off work to celebrate their anniversary, and Jack couldn’t help wondering what Daniel had up his sleeve.  He had refused to give Jack even a single hint, leaving Jack helpless to do any planning of his own.  He had invested in an anniversary gift, however, needing only the proper moment to give it to his partner.  Since it was too big to put in the house without Daniel seeing it, thus spoiling the surprise, Jack was still at a loss how and when to make the presentation.

 

Finishing the last drop of coffee, Jack set the cup back on the saucer and padded naked into the bathroom.  There he found a note taped to the mirror, also in Daniel’s hand.

 

Jack,

 

Randall James will be here at 9 AM to make you all loose and pliable for me.  There’s a very small breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen, and we’ll go out to brunch later in the morning when you’re more relaxed.  I’ve got a big day planned for us, so enjoy.

 

All my love,  

Daniel

 

Jack smiled and hurried through his morning grooming, slipped into a pair of loose boxers and covered them with his robe. He went into the living room to find the massage table already laid out in the living room.  Randall was standing on the deck, enjoying a cup of coffee and looking out over the yard. Jack carried his buttered croissants outside and took a seat at the table.  He offered a croissant to the massage therapist, and was told that Daniel had already fed him.

 

“I’m not surprised,” said Jack with a grin.

 

Randall gave him a knowing little smile.  “Doctor Jackson’s a great guy, Colonel. Made me feel right at home.”

 

Jack nodded, pride oozing out of his pores.  “Yeah, he sure is, Randall.  And for the millionth time, you can call me Jack. We’ve known each other long enough for that, and I've been a civilian for a year now.”

 

The massage therapist shook his head.  “No, sir.  Professional policy.  I never get familiar with my clients.  It’s better that way.”

 

“I can accept that,” Jack agreed.  “Just gimme a minute, and I’ll get settled on the table.  Meanwhile, take a stroll in the garden if you want.  Have a seat.  Make yourself comfy.  Mi casa es su casa.”

 

“Don’t hurry your breakfast,” Randall cautioned pleasantly, obviously enjoying his view of the garden.  “Take your time.”

 

With a grunt of assent, Jack took a bite of the flaky pastry slathered with homemade herbed butter and started chewing.  He groaned at the delightful flavor.  Daniel had been doing things with seasonings again and the results were a gastronomic orgasm. 

 

Randall’s soft laugh made Jack glance at him.  “Yeah.  I did that, too.  The man can cook.”

 

“I don’t believe there’s much Daniel can’t do,” Jack stated with authority.  “Did you know he speaks 27 languages?”

 

“No kidding?”  Randall’s eyes went wide.  “I knew he was an archaeologist and well traveled, but…” His gray brows drew together.  “Is that some kind of record?  I’ll bet the Guinness Book people would be interested in him.”

 

Jack smiled to himself.  “Randall, one day the whole world will know his name.  Trust me on that.”

 

He was quiet as he polished off the rest of his light breakfast, mentally rehearsing a list of Daniel’s accomplishments that the world would someday celebrate.  Jack was sure there’d be Doctor Daniel Jackson universities, schools and libraries all over the world – maybe even several worlds. There would be foundations and grants, statues and biographies, all because of the work they had done and were now doing in the mountain.  Daniel Jackson was one of the single most important people in the history of the human race, the man who had tied the Tau’ri First World to many of its offspring civilizations through the stargate, and who never thought about the enormity of that accomplishment.

 

Jack did, though.  His own name would probably go down in history with Daniel as the first man with the SGC to go through the gate, though he was actually the second man in the modern era to do so.  He’d be lauded as the leader of SG-1 for its first many years and credited for all they’d    accomplished during that time, with Daniel at his side, solving problems and saving his ass more times than he could count.  But it wasn’t Jack O’Neill’s team and never had been.  It had been Daniel’s, right from the first mission to Abydos.

 

Oh, Jack might have been the military representative keeping watch and appearing to make all the significant decisions, but in matters of what they found, what it meant and what was actually accomplished among all the alien races they discovered – all that had been Daniel’s territory.  He was the one who’d actually led the team, in a quiet, subtle way.  He was the one who’d made the great strides and had done the most to unseat Goa’uld “gods” and bring the snakes down.  The story of the stargate was Daniel’s story, and no one knew that better than Jack O’Neill.

 

When he finished his breakfast, he looked out at the garden for a few moments, still contemplating the wonder that was Daniel, thanking God for letting him be the lucky one who had snagged his heart.

 

One year, he thought to himself, remembering that first night they’d made love.  And what an eventful year it had been, too -- to hell and back again.  It was a year he’d never forget, that was for sure.

 

He rose with a sigh and carried his dishes into the kitchen, leaving them in the sink for later.  He went to the living room windows and pulled the drapes they’d had installed so he and Daniel could make love in front of the fireplace.  He started the CD of his favorite operas, then went to the massage table, and draped his robe and boxers over a nearby chair. He picked up a long towel laid out for him, arranged himself face down on the table, draped the towel over his butt and waited.

 

The scent of almond oil came to him through the slit in the upholstered surface just before Randall’s hands went to work on his back.  Oil was smoothed lightly over his skin, supplying necessary lubrication so the therapist’s hands wouldn’t pull delicate skin, and reducing friction to keep too much heat from making the therapy uncomfortable.  Jack sighed into the facial vent as those skilled hands worked his muscles, squeezing out knots of tension he hadn’t even known were there.

 

When Randall had been over him from head to toes, he heard the man instruct him to turn carefully onto his back, holding the towel in place with one hand while he turned and resettling it over his groin when he was arranged on his back.  Jack eyed the therapist, and Randall chuckled softly.

 

“Doctor Jackson requested that you have a full body massage, which includes both sides,” he explained.  He reached into a nearby bowl and retrieved a soft cloth, squeezed excess water out of it and unfolded the steamy terrycloth square. “I’ll cover your face with this to help relax you, and after I finish with your feet, I’ll wash my hands and give you a facial massage, too.  You’re getting the four-star treatment today, Colonel.”

 

The heated cloth felt blissfully good on Jack’s face.  At some point during the massage he fell asleep, waking slowly as the now-cooled cloth was lifted off him.  He didn’t open his eyes, just lay there, waiting for those skilled fingers to do his face.  When that was over, Randall spoke quietly.

 

“I’ll be by in a little while to pick up my table.  Doctor Jackson promised to leave it on the deck out back for me. Have a wonderful anniversary, Colonel O’Neill, and congratulations.”

 

Jack smiled.  “Thanks, Randall.”  It took him a few moments to open his eyes, and when he did he saw Daniel bending over him and smiling.

 

“Close your eyes again, Jack,” he whispered.  “Just lie still.  Randall’s gone, and we’re alone.  The door’s locked, curtains are drawn, and I want to give you something.”

 

“What?” asked Jack, still smiling, already having a good idea what the answer to his question was.

 

Daniel squeezed out another heated cloth and laid it over Jack’s face.  “Just relax and let me have my way with you, okay?  This is just for you.”

 

“Mmmm,” agreed Jack from beneath the cloth.  He felt the towel over his groin lifted off, and then warm hands took his cock in them and placed the soft flesh into Daniel’s hot, wet mouth.  “Oh, Godddddddd,” Jack moaned, his hands reaching for Daniel’s hair and shoulders.

 

“Just lie back,” Daniel said, disengaging for a moment.  “Relax.  Let me do everything here, okay?”

 

Jack grunted and relaxed against the table, losing himself in the liquid joy of Daniel’s talented mouth.  He was so relaxed he thought he could just lie there forever and let Daniel suck on him, but his wily lover had other ideas and soon Jack was curling up on the table, flinging the face cloth aside, gasping and clutching at Daniel’s shirt and hair.  Jack’s body jerked and spasmed as he came, thrusting fiercely into Daniel’s mouth.

 

He flopped backward onto the table in a boneless heap, one arm over his eyes, a ragged sigh issuing out of him.  “Wow, Danny, that was…”

 

When there wasn’t a sound from Daniel, Jack sat up a bit and looked for him, expecting to find him right beside the table, but he was gone.

 

With great effort, Jack pulled his wits together, forcing his body to work with as much coordination as possible as he rose from the massage table.  “Daniel?”  Jack called.  “Hey!  Where are ya?”  He tottered on unsteady legs out into the kitchen, but Daniel wasn’t there.  He headed for their bedroom and found the bed made and clothing laid out for him, along with another handmade card.

 

“This seems awfully familiar,” he said loudly to the house, grinning hugely.

 

Daniel didn’t answer, and Jack wondered if he were out in the garden, pulling petals off every available flower in preparation for their anniversary night in bed.

 

Chuckling to himself, he took a shower and shaved, brushed his teeth and got all squeaky clean.  He put on the snugly fitting clothes Daniel had chosen for him – a new, very soft light blue T-shirt, and faded, pale blue jeans so old there were holes worn at the knees and a little threadbare across the seat, with no underwear beneath.  He finished up with a black snakeskin belt with silver conchos and a silver tip on the loose end of the belt. Jack slipped his bare feet into his favorite black Birkenstocks, checked his look in the bathroom mirror and touched up his hair with a swipe of his comb.

 

He regretted cutting it now, but it would be a long time before the barber saw him again.

 

Almost as an afterthought, he hunted up his earring in the bathroom drawer and worked the hoop through the nearly closed hole in his left earlobe.  Daniel like the earring, so Jack was going to wear it for him.  He knew he needed longer hair to complete the look, but that would take care of itself in time.  Deciding he looked as good as he was going to get, he returned to the bed to read Daniel’s next card.

 

Lunch?

 

I’ll be waiting in the driveway. Thought you might like to go out for a while.

 

Love always,

Your Daniel 

 

Jack met him outside, and they drove to O’Malley’s for steaks. After a satisfying lunch, they spent an hour just driving around and talking, enjoying each other’s company.

 

They visited a bookstore where Daniel invested in yet more books for his professional library.  Jack bought a couple of novels for light reading, still plotting how to get Daniel to the gift Jack had chosen for him. The store where he'd purchased it was close to the Citadel Mall off Airport Road, but Daniel couldn’t do lots of walking, so prowling the mall under the pretense of anniversary shopping wouldn’t cut it as a suitable disguise.

 

Then Jack remembered something that made him smile. He turned the truck back toward his neighborhood.

 

“Where to now, Jack?” asked Daniel with a smile.

 

“Just need to drop by and check on something,” he said quietly. “Did you have other specific plans?”

 

Daniel glanced at his watch. “Well…” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out two tickets to a Rockies game at Coors Field. “We’ve still got a little time before the game starts.”

 

Jack grinned. “You do know what turns me on, don’t you.”

 

“I’ve made a study of it,” said Daniel with a smug smile.

 

“I don’t doubt that for a second.”

He drove toward his house, turning before he reached his Bear Creek Canyon neighborhood.  Pulling into the Grace Manor parking lot, he parked as close to the door as he could and got out.  Glancing at Daniel, he asked, “You coming?”

 

Daniel glanced around the campus of the retirement home, taking note of all the familiar potted plants, the ones Jack had brought from his home after their break-up.  Some lined the sidewalk, others sat at the sides of the wide, welcoming porch under the awning.  A few were placed on windowsills inside the rooms.

 

 “Our plants.  I’m glad to see they’re still alive.”  A shadow passed over Daniel’s face.  “But what are we doing here?” 

 

“I have an anniversary present for you, too,” Jack confessed.  “Only I couldn’t think of how to give it to you.  Then I remembered something I brought here a while back.  I thought I’d surprise you with a visit to an old friend.  C’m’on with me; I’ll show you.”

 

Jack waited for Daniel to round the truck and walked beside him, passing through the front doors into a spacious lobby where a handful of elderly folks sat around in conversation.  A nursing station sat just behind that, and past that was a large, sunlit room with big windows looking out onto a landscaped area.  Jack led the way into the spacious room after a brief stop to check in with the staff.

 

The recreation room had sets of tables and chairs scattered all across it, where small groups of elders sat around talking and playing cards or dominoes.  Way in the back was an open area, presumably for group functions like dancing, and beside that was a large walnut piano, a beautiful antique square grand. 

 

Jack touched Daniel’s elbow and nodded toward the back corner, directing Daniel’s gaze.  “This is where I brought it when you… Uh.”  He couldn’t say the words, partly because of the security breach it might pose and partly because of the lump forming in his throat at the memory of his lover's death.

 

Daniel’s mouth fell open in a small ‘o’ of surprise.  “My old piano!”  He made a beeline for it and Jack followed him there, watching as Daniel’s hands smoothed over the beloved surfaces.  He lifted the key cover and pushed it back as he took a seat on the bench, his eyes wide in shock and surprise.  “Look at this, Jack,” he exclaimed with an expression of delight.  “You’re unbelievable! I never thought I’d see this old beauty again.”

 

“I wanted it to go someplace where people would enjoy hearing it played,” Jack murmured, his hand settling on Daniel’s shoulder.  “It probably belongs in a museum, but a few folks here know how to play it, and every Saturday night it gets a good workout.” 

 

“I’m glad it went to a place where it could be enjoyed,” Daniel murmured, looking down at the old ivory keys, running his index finger along the edge of them.  “In a museum, no one would ever be able to hear its beautiful music.”

 

Jack squeezed the warm shoulder under his hand.  "Will you play something for me now, for our anniversary?"  He went alongside the piano and leaned his forearms on its smooth surface, anxious to hear Daniel play again.

 

He didn’t know if Daniel were even listening until he lifted his eyes, gleaming with adoration in the wake of a soft smile.  Without a word, Daniel started to play, his fingers moving steadily across the keys, eyes on Jack, every note meant for him alone.  Jack recognized this piece as Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, and thought it was the most beautiful music he'd ever heard.

 

"For you," Daniel whispered as the last notes hung briefly in the air.

 

A quavering voice called out from somewhere in the back of the room, "Do you know anything a little more lively, son?"

 

Jack tipped up his chin and winked, silently telling Daniel to go for it.

 

With a low laugh, Daniel started playing Music Box Dancer, his fingers bouncing happily over the keys.  People sitting at tables in the room turned around and stared at the pianist as others sat in mute silence, some holding hands, feet tapping here and there, heads bobbing gently as the bright music took them to places long ago and far away.

 

As Jack watched, he saw that Daniel was studying his audience now, observing how the piece affected them, taking them on a journey to someplace fun.  For a long time Jack just stood there, leaning on the piano, his heart bursting with pride as he watched the residents gravitate toward the musician like flies to honey.  Soon they were surrounding the two men, clapping and cheering, calling out names of old favorite songs, and there were few Daniel didn’t know.

 

His range of musical genres was as all-encompassing as his skill with languages. He played classical, blues, Broadway tunes, Irish drinking songs, pop hits. Some of the audience sang along with him as he led the chorus.  Daniel’s face brightened with the flush of pleasure as he played, his eyes gleaming and happy, and Jack knew he’d made the right choice in coming there.

 

After over an hour of energetic pounding of the keys, Daniel finished the song he was playing and rose to the sound of a huge round of applause that left him blushing and tongue-tied.  With a promise to return and play another day, Daniel hobbled out beside his lover, a little breathless as he climbed into the truck.

 

“You weren’t planning on taking my piano back, were you?” he asked quietly.  “I think it belongs here now.  You picked the perfect place for it.”

 

“Oh, no,” Jack assured him.  “I just thought you’d enjoy seeing the old gal again, knowing what happened to it, and that it’s loved.”

 

Daniel’s gaze dropped to his hands in his lap, twirling the cane between his knees.  “I recognized it before you told me it was mine,” he said quietly.  “I always wondered where it had gone, but didn’t want to stir up bad memories by asking you.”

 

Jack reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a card, sealed in an envelope, with Daniel’s name neatly printed on it.  “I think this is a good time for you to open your present,” he said with a knowing grin.

 

With fingers still trembling from tickling the ivories, Daniel unsealed the envelope and pulled out the card.  It read, Happy Anniversary.  Inside, Jack had written, Thank you for the second chance. He had signed his name inside a hand-drawn heart, and taped beneath his signature was a small glossy photograph of another square grand piano, a Simpson made of gleaming polished rosewood. 

 

“We’ll have to make room for it somewhere,” he told Daniel.  “What do you think of turning the spare room into a music room?  Or maybe put it on the other side of the living room from the fireplace where you can play for everyone at parties?”

 

Daniel lifted wide blue eyes from the card to regard him, shock on his face.  “You bought me an antique piano?  Wow.  I know how much these things cost.”

 

Jack laughed a little.  “I make plenty of money now that I’m a civilian advisor, and my finances are just fine.  Your present should be delivered this weekend and tuned sometime next week.  All we have to do is find a place to put it.  Happy anniversary, Danny.”

 

The card shook in Daniel’s grasp.  He grinned from ear to ear at Jack and then turned his gaze back down to it.  “You have no idea how I’ve missed my piano.”  He paused.  “Whenever things would go horribly wrong, I used to play the pain away.  I haven’t been able to do that since I… came back.”

 

More than anything, Jack wanted to reach out and hold him, to offer him a little comfort in that moment, but he kept still, sitting behind the wheel.  “I wasn’t even sure you played, till last year at the Brown Palace.  After that night, I knew it’d be the perfect anniversary gift for you.  Been paying on it most of a year, even all during the time we were apart.  I finally got it out of hock just in time for today, only I couldn’t move it into the house without you seeing it.  I was having a hell of a time trying to figure out how to give it to you.”  He glanced at the nursing home.  “Then I remembered this.”

 

Daniel reached out, leaning across the space between the seats, and hugged Jack’s neck.  “Thank you.  It’s perfect.”  He kissed Jack’s cheek and retreated back to his seat, punching him gently on the shoulder.  “You’re the best.” 

 

“You too, babe.  And you’re welcome.  My pleasure.  After all, I’ll get to hear all that wonderful music in the house.”  Jack smiled and reached over to pat Daniel’s thigh.  “But we’d better get going.  We’re gonna be late for the game.”

 

Checking his watch, Daniel glanced at the tickets and gasped.  “Jack! Why didn’t you stop me?  We should’ve left half an hour ago!”

 

Starting the truck, Jack just chuckled.  “Aw, we won’t miss more than the first inning.  And those old folks woulda lynched me on the spot if I’d taken you away too soon,” he teased.  “I don’t think they even noticed me, but you they’ll remember forever.”  He winked as he started backing out of the parking space.  “Hey, look.”  He nodded toward the front door, drawing Daniel’s astonished eyes to the crowd assembled there, watching them leave.  “Wave to your adoring audience.” 

 

Jack laughed as out of the corner of his eye he saw Daniel wave at his public.  They drove off north toward the stadium.

 

Hours later, sunburned from the afternoon spent in their infield box seats right behind the Rockies’ dugout, the two men headed for home.  The Rockies had won 12-2 over the powerhouse LA Dodgers, and Jack was holding forth about the game while Daniel quietly listened.  He was content to just look at his lover, soaking in his happiness. 

 

When they rolled into the driveway at home, Jack noticed how tired Daniel looked.  He’d spent a lot of time on his feet and walking around, and without looking, he knew Daniel’s knee would be swollen and hurting.

 

“Why don’t you go sit in the whirlpool for a while?”  Jack suggested as they climbed out of the truck.  “When you're done, you can pile up on the sofa in the den, and I’ll bring you some Aleve and an ice pack.”

 

Daniel gave a huge sigh of relief. “God, yes! I am so beat.” Daniel groaned as he straightened up beside the truck and slammed his door.  He met Jack around the front of the vehicle.  “It’s been a great day, but I sure could use a soak.”

 

They hurried up the steps together and unlocked the front door.  Once inside, Daniel headed down the hall while Jack disabled the alarm and went into the kitchen to pour up some iced tea for himself and Daniel. 

 

He brought the two glasses into the bathroom where Daniel was just easing down into the tub, still filling with warm water.  Jack parceled out a dose of Aleve, put the pills into Daniel’s mouth, and handed him his glass.  Daniel swallowed the medication along with a few gulps of tea as Jack switched on the whirlpool motor to aerate the water and soothe Daniel's damaged knee. 

 

In the next few seconds, as he took Daniel’s glass from him and watched him lay his head back, his eyes sliding shut, Jack studied the knee, thankful that the swelling wasn't as bad as he'd expected.  Several pink scars criss-crossed their way over the joint, reminding Jack how badly damaged it had once been, and how lucky Daniel was to still have his leg and to be able to walk.  The Academy orthopedists had done an amazing job of rebuilding it, but it would never be as perfect as it once was.  Jack's eyes traveled up to Daniel’s chest, stopping on the pink, puckered scar that marked where the other alien arrow had struck him.

 

Jack's heart constricted.  So many times he'd come too close to losing Daniel, and a few times he actually had.  It was a miracle that the man he loved was sitting in that tub, his beautiful blue eyes closed, head leaning back, skin gleaming with good health and too much sun. 

 

He put one hand on the top of Daniel’s head and leaned down to put a gentle kiss on his forehead.  “I’m glad I’ve gotcha,” he murmured.  “You rest, and I’ll go start dinner.” 

 

Daniel’s eyes opened briefly, and they exchanged a look and a smile. 

 

Jack straightened up and went into the kitchen to take stock of possibilities for the meal they’d planned for their anniversary.  He started setting things out and chopping vegetables, and after a while he heard Daniel's cane thumping down the hall toward the den.

 

Jack grabbed the bag of frozen peas they kept just to use as an ice bag, beat it against the kitchen counter a little to break up the big frozen clumps inside, and carried it to the den where Daniel was just getting settled in the recliner.  He placed the package gently on Daniel's knee, which already looked much better, gave him a brief kiss, and returned to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. 

 

They ate in the den and watched television together for about an hour.  Then, when Jack got up to take a shower, Daniel went to do a few more mysterious things he didn’t want Jack to see.  Forty-five minutes later, he came in and found Jack to call him outside onto the deck.

 

“Wanna take a walk with me?” he asked shyly, leading the way back outdoors. “I’ve got something to show you.”  He was carrying a flashlight in his free hand.

 

Jack touched Daniel’s left arm as they stood on the deck, skimming his fingers down the soft bare skin beneath the sleeve of his black T-shirt, lacing their fingers together.  “Shouldn’t you be headed for bed?  We’ve had a big day today. Both of us. I’m pretty tired, too.”

 

Daniel smiled, secrets glimmering in his eyes.  “The day’s not over yet,” he murmured, handing Jack the flashlight to hold.  He led Jack down the deck steps and into the yard.  “I have one more surprise for you.  And I hope the best is yet to come.”

 

Jack kept pace with him across the lawn, heading toward the trees in the back forty.  Someone next door had mowed their yard recently, the scent of fresh-cut grass mixing with the hickory smoke from a neighbor’s barbecue. Children down the street were playing, their high-pitched voices carrying faintly in the still air, cooling from the day’s heat.  Early evening was heading toward sapphire twilight, and in the distant woods the chirp of crickets could already be heard.  

 

Past their Snowfire rose, newly planted in its place of honor in the stone-ringed bed, they ambled down a winding flagstone path through the fragrant, colorful plantings and into the shade of the trees.  Deeper into the woods they walked, holding hands in silence, until the house was out of sight and they were surrounded by tall oaks, pines, cedar, ash, and aspen trees.  The evening gloom deepened until it seemed like night had fallen among the trunks reaching up all around them. 

 

When they had almost reached the stone wall separating Jack’s property from the park beyond it, Daniel stopped walking. He took the flashlight from Jack, switched it on, and aimed it through the trees to a spot on the wall about ten feet away.  “Recognize him?”

 

Attached to the stone was a two-foot high sculpture.  It was carved of gray-green marble, a face made of leaves, smiling out at the trees, keeping watch over all the green and growing things. This was Jack-in-Green, the image of the forest spirit after whom his Grandmother O’Neill had given him his nickname.

 

Jack pointed at it and made eye contact with his lover.  “You do know who that is, don’t you?” he asked quietly.

 

Daniel grinned.  “Yeah.”  His eyes were twinkling.  “It’s you.  Take a good look at the face.”

 

Taking the light from Daniel and stepping a little closer to study it, Jack was startled by the resemblance.  Daniel must have had it specially made to look like him.  That had to be pretty pricey, too.  No wonder he’d broken his bank account over restoring the garden.

 

“Sweet,” he said over his shoulder before he turned back to study it some more.

 

“That’s not the best part, though,” Daniel assured him.  “There’s more.”

 

Jack faced him, returning to his side.  “Oh?”

 

Daniel smiled broadened, mischief in his eyes.  “Well?  Look around and tell me.  What do you think of our secret hideaway?”

 

At first, Jack didn’t see anything.  He looked harder, playing the strong flashlight beam around, and finally located a very fine, almost invisible netting, interwoven with live plants that helped to camouflage it.

 

Daniel felt his way toward the opening and ducked inside it, with Jack on his heels.  Inside the netting was another, smaller enclosure, a canvas tent carefully painted to resemble the woods around it, with tree trunks, leaves and bushes.  It was truly a masterpiece of mimicry, where casual observers on the far side of that stone wall would never see the structure that was built into the landscape in Jack’s yard.

 

Between the netting and the interior tent, much of the debris had been cleared away.  The ground had been planted with Irish moss, and around the base of the tent were a few small pots of green and purple Shamrocks.  Daniel tapped one of the pots with the tip of his cane.

 

“I have no idea where these ought to be planted, so I had them put in pots for you to move where they’ll grow best.  I just set them out here a few minutes ago, so they should be fine for tonight.  We ought to have something Irish in O’Neill’s garden, don’t you think?”  He looked up at Jack, then disappeared inside the tent with a grace that belied his handicap.

 

Jack followed him, awash in joy.  This was exactly what he’d wanted, without ever being able to frame the plans for it in his mind.  He touched the rough canvas of the tent, marveling at how well Daniel knew him, and hurried inside, eager to see what else his lover had done.

 

The inside of the tent took his breath away.  The fabric walls were all green and gold brocade.  The floor was covered with a gorgeous rug with a botanical theme of woven leaves, vines and flowers in a multitude of hues.  In the middle of the carpet was a big, thick airbed, already inflated, covered in greenish gold damask, with additional coverings of silk and Egyptian cotton. Tree trunks supported the tent walls all around them, and attached to the trunks were cast iron brackets on which hurricane lamps sat, each filled with pillar candles all burning brightly to illuminate the inside of the enclosure with their soft glow.

 

High above them, fine mosquito netting formed a transparent roof that would allow them to look up through the leaves at the sky, now dark blue tinged with pink with the approach of sunset.

 

“Take your shoes off, Jack,” said Daniel from behind him at the entrance. He pointed upward.  “And see?  There’s a retractable canvas roof rolled up outside that we can put over the top to protect the inside from weather.  I’ll show you where the controls are when we get ready to leave.”

 

“Wow,” said Jack softly.  “This is so beautiful.  You did good.”  He turned to look at Daniel and saw that he had already removed the bedroom slippers he’d worn outside from the house, and was now zipping the tent opening closed for privacy.  When he turned around, his glasses were in his hand.

 

Eagerly, Jack stepped out of his shoes and placed them beside Daniel’s, near the entrance.  He watched Daniel move over toward the big airbed and saw that there was a bucket filled with ice near it, a champagne bottle sticking up out of the top.  Beside the bucket was a small table sporting a silver tray with a cover.  He watched Daniel take up a stance beside the bed and drop his cane beside it, laying his glasses on the tray for safekeeping.

 

“This is incredible, Daniel,” Jack assured him, so filled with wonder he could hardly think.  “You really went all out.”  He couldn’t stop smiling.  His cheeks hurt from it.

 

“I’m glad you like it,” Daniel said quietly.  “But there’s more.”

 

“What?”

 

“C’mere.”

 

The look in Daniel’s eyes shot a spear of heat straight to Jack’s groin.  Obediently Jack went to stand in front of him.  He reached out and took Daniel’s hands in his, giving him a reassuring little squeeze.  “We don’t have to do anything.  We can just camp out and hold each other.”

 

Daniel shook his head.  “I want… I want you to undress me, Jack.”

 

“Daniel…” Jack wasn’t so sure that was such a good idea.  He knew now where Daniel’s phobia had come from – a college roommate who’d stripped Daniel when he was helpless, then secretly raped him.  Jack didn’t want even a shadow of that coming between them in bed, not ever.

 

“Please.  I want to see your face, Jack.  I need to know it’s you, and then it’ll be all right.”  Daniel’s voice was soft and low.  His eyes were hooded and dark, filled with desire.

 

Jack wanted him, his fantasies leaping instantly to mind, but he didn’t know if he could go there, not now that he knew about Daniel’s past.

 

“Please,” Daniel said again, raising his right hand to cup Jack’s cheek.  “I need you to help me with this, Jack.  You’re the only one who can, and it’s time.”  He sighed.  “We’ve both waited, and I’m sure now.  I want to try it, and if I don’t like it, I’ll be honest and tell you the truth.  Okay?”

 

Heart in his throat, Jack could not deny his lover the chance to replace those terrible memories with what might be good ones.  He swallowed hard, his voice deep and rough with emotion.  “If at any time you want me to stop, you know what to say.”

 

Daniel nodded solemnly.  “I remember the safe word, Jack.  Fides.  Trust.  And I do trust you.  I love you.  I want to know how it feels to have you undress me.  I want to see how it makes you feel to undress me.”

 

Jack’s mouth went suddenly dry.  “Oh… it’ll get a reaction, believe me.”  It already had, just the thought making his cock swell in his too-tight pants.  He saw Daniel glance down at his crotch and grunted with the sudden surge of blood into his dick that accompanied that gesture.

 

God, how he wanted Daniel!  But he dared not think where this might lead, what else Daniel might have in mind to try.  He couldn’t think about that, because Daniel trusted him.

 

With trembling fingers, Jack reached for Daniel’s clothing, slowly pulling the hem of his sleeveless T-shirt out of the waist of his jeans.  When it was free, he lifted it slowly up along Daniel’s ribs, watching as he raised his arms, his head tipped slightly back, gazing at Jack through his eyelashes.

 

“Oh, my God,” Jack moaned, mesmerized by the expression on that gorgeous face.

 

The tiniest smile curled around the corners of Daniel’s mouth.  “What?” he murmured, his voice a low, sexy purr.

 

“God fucking damn,” Jack breathed, his whole body trembling now.  “You are so hot, Danny.  I think I’ve got third degree burns just from lookin’ at you.” 

 

Daniel laughed a little as Jack raised the shirt upward over his face, and off.  He tossed it somewhere behind him and just stared as Daniel slowly lowered his arms and looked back at Jack with a smile.  “That wasn’t so bad.  Now my pants, big guy.”

 

Jack nodded and dragged his gaze down to Daniel’s waist.  He felt the silken heat of the skin on Daniel’s hairless belly as he slipped his fingertips into the waistband and began to work the buttons, very slowly, one by one, until they were all undone.  He dropped to his battered old knees on the soft carpet and slowly began to slide Daniel’s jeans down off his hips.  He wasn’t wearing underwear, and Jack leaned forward to press his nose into Daniel’s crotch, inhaling the familiar, musky man-scent that was Daniel’s alone.

 

As soon as his pants were down far enough, Daniel’s cock sprang free, arching up toward his belly.  Jack nuzzled it with his nose, closing his eyes and pressing his cheek against Daniel’s belly and thigh.  He felt Daniel’s hands settle on his face, and then both hands went to Jack’s shoulders as Daniel leaned on him, needing support as he stepped out of his pants, one foot at a time.

 

Jack skimmed his hands back up Daniel’s legs, stopping at his hips, just holding him like that with his face against Daniel’s crotch.  “So beautiful,” he breathed.  He pulled away and looked up into that handsome face, wishing he had words for what was in his heart.  “Daniel, I…” He shook his head and bowed it, resting his forehead against Daniel’s warm belly, right over his appendectomy scar.

 

“I know, Jack,” said Daniel tenderly.  “It’s okay.  I know you love me.  I do.  You don't have to say it for me to hear it.”  He stroked Jack’s cheeks.  “Now, help me sit down on our bed.”

 

Immediately Jack stood up.  He took both of Daniel’s hands in his and provided a counterweight as Daniel squatted down on his good leg, his damaged one extended forward as he went down slowly onto the bed.  Then he lay down on the mattress and peeled back the covers, tossing them to one side.  He scooted over to make a place for his lover as Jack hastily undressed, heedless of where any of his clothing landed.

 

He stretched out beside Daniel, his whole body vibrating with excitement.  For a moment they just lay there, side by side, facing each other across the pillows.  Then Daniel lifted his hand, crossing the small space between their bodies, and began to explore the planes of Jack’s face with his fingertips.

 

Something wonderful lit Daniel up from the inside, glowing in the happy smile just touching his lips and making his eyes sparkle. “I love you, Jack O’Neill,” he murmured.  “You amaze me.  You irritate the hell out of me and surprise me at every turn. Life with you will always be a challenge and an adventure.”  He gave a soft snicker.  “You know, the Chinese have a curse: ‘May you live in interesting times.’  I think I’ve improved on that.  ‘May you have an interesting lover.’ Only I’m not so sure it’s a curse.  Sure doesn’t feel like one right now.”

 

Jack swallowed hard, remembering.  “It was not long ago.  For both of us.”

 

Daniel’s smile dimmed a little, and he shook his head.  “No, never a curse, Jack.  We just had some bumps in the road we had to get over.  And anyway, a lot’s happened since then.  There was a lot we didn’t know about each other.  Important stuff.  Things we should’ve shared a long time ago.”

 

“I didn’t know how.”  Jack shrugged, that lump coming up in his throat again.  “But I never want to lose you again, Daniel.”

 

“You won’t,” he said fervently.  “I belong to you, body and soul.  Forever.  And I want…”

 

“Don’t! Don’t say it.”  Jack could see it in those guileless, passion-filled blue eyes looking steadily back at him, and fear gripped his heart.  He didn’t want to put Daniel through what he’d experienced.

 

“No, I’ve gotta say it, Jack. It’s time. I want to have you inside me,” Daniel finished anyway.  “I don’t know if I’ll like it or not, but I have to know what it feels like.  I’ve seen how much you love it, and I know first hand how good it will be for you, when you top me.  And besides all that, I’m curious, like I am about everything new, right?”

 

Jack nodded, his eyes wide and solemn.

 

“I’m not afraid anymore,” Daniel vowed.  “I promise.  I’d tell you if I was.”

 

“I know you want to give me something special because it’s our first anniversary, but it doesn’t have to be that,” Jack told him.  “Don’t think you have to do this for me, because you don’t.”  He groaned a little, trying to hold down a wave of desire mixed with sorrow.  “I’m scared I might wake up some sleeping demons.  I don’t want you to shut me out because you can’t deal with me touching you like that. Like he did.  I couldn’t bear to lose you, Daniel. Not again.”

 

Daniel slid his hand around the Jack’s nape and squeezed him with his strong fingers.  “Not gonna happen, Jack.  As long as I can see you and hear your voice, I’ll know it’s you,” he assured him gently.  “And I want you to love me, to know you have all of me.”

 

Jack pulled him closer so they were nose to nose.  “I do, Danny. I do know. But I don’t have to do that to you.”

 

“I did it to you.”  Daniel leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth.  “And I know how it made me feel, being inside you as you gave yourself up to me.  It was the greatest gift you could give me, and I want you to know that feeling, too.  This is for us.  For both of us.”

 

Daniel’s hand slipped down from Jack’s neck, down along his arm to his hip, pulling him closer still, until their bodies were fitted snugly together.  He rubbed his erection against Jack’s belly, gently thrusting, rubbing his inner thigh over Jack’s outer thigh as he laid his leg over Jack’s.  Then he was kissing Jack, his incredible mouth teasing and hot, his tongue searching for Jack’s and tangling with it as he groaned his pleasure.

 

The long-held fantasy of fucking Daniel exploded into Jack’s mind, and he was helpless to resist it, certain he should be telling Daniel to forget it, but unable to speak a word with Daniel going after his tonsils like he was.  They were both breathing hard when Jack pulled away and looked at his lover’s hungry face.  The expression Daniel was wearing filled Jack with powerful need, and he bore Daniel down with a starved kiss, pressing him deeply into the pillows.  He’d waited a year to make love to Daniel like this, and now that the time had finally arrived, it was almost more than he could believe.

 

He kissed and fondled, licked and squeezed his way down Daniel’s body to his cock, curled up and twitching over his belly.  Jack settled himself between Daniel’s legs, resting on his elbows, one hand at the base of Daniel’s rigid erection, the other fondling his balls while his mouth engulfed as much of the thick shaft as he could swallow.  Daniel moaned and writhed, calling Jack’s name in a desperate whisper.  Jack worked him harder, just the way he liked it, only this time Daniel didn’t come.

 

He was holding back, and Jack knew it.

 

“C’mon,” Daniel whispered, making Jack look up at him.  Daniel laid a bottle of Astroglide on his belly, right in front of Jack’s face.  “Start with your fingers.  We’ll see how it goes from there.  Okay?  Trust me, Jack, because I trust you.”

 

Jack released his lip-lock on Daniel’s dick.  “We shouldn’t—“

 

“Don’t you want to?” asked Daniel, looking down his body, right into Jack’s eyes.  “Tell me honestly, Jack.  Don’t you want to be inside me?  Haven’t you fantasized about it?”

 

There was no way he could lie to the man he loved, not about that.  He bowed his head in resignation.  Daniel knew him so well.  “Yes.  Of course I have.  But I don’t want—“

 

“Yes, you do,” Daniel argued gently, tenderly.  “And so do I. Help me do this, Jack.  Help me learn to love you this way, too.”

 

Jack felt tears prickle at his eyes and blinked them back.  Part of him was terrified this would only intensify Daniel’s fears; another part was incandescent with joy that Daniel wanted Jack inside him. 

 

He took the little bottle, flipped the cap open and squeezed a little of the clear liquid onto the fingers of his right hand.  He dropped the bottle beside the bed and clenched his fingers closed to warm the liquid.  Then carefully, he grasped Daniel’s cock again with his left hand and slipped his right beneath Daniel’s butt.  Daniel bent his knees and spread his legs wide, the soles of his feet flat against the mattress, his right leg bent as far as he could make it go.

 

“Fides, Daniel,” he said softly, brushing his swollen lips against the satiny flesh of Daniel’s cock, reminding his lover of the command word that would make Jack stop whatever he was doing.

 

“I know, Jack,” he answered in a whisper, then reclined back against the pillows.  He sighed and then added, “I love you.”

 

Jack closed his eyes and took Daniel’s cock into his mouth again, using his lips, tongue, and teeth to tease and excite his lover.  Cautiously, carefully, Jack slipped his slick fingers into the cleft of Daniel’s ass, finding and stroking that tight ring of muscle, his senses hyper-aware of every sound, every movement his lover made as he touched it.  There was only a slight hesitation at first contact, followed by a moment of quiet panting.  Soon Daniel was lost again, writhing and arching off the cushions, his passion rising as Jack devoured his heated flesh. 

 

“Put your finger inside me, Jack,” Daniel whispered.

 

He did, pushing slowly past the opening and gently, cautiously rotating his fingertip.

 

“Uhhhnnnn,” moaned Daniel, his body relaxing.  “That feels… nice.”

 

Desire slammed full force into Jack’s chest and groin at the same time, making him grunt.  He devoured Daniel’s cock, starving now as he rose up to his knees.  He pushed deeper, slowly imbedding his middle finger as far as it would go into his lover.  He twirled it, pumped it gently, sucked harder, and felt a shudder of pleasure ripple through Daniel’s body.

 

“More,” he whispered hoarsely.  “Oh, God, Jack!”  Daniel’s legs spread wider, lifting his right foot and setting his heel on Jack's shoulder.  He rolled his hips upward, giving Jack better access.

 

Jack moaned, slipping another finger into his lover.  Daniel was getting louder now, groaning and moaning, writhing on the sheets.

 

“More,” he begged, panting and thrusting up into Jack’s mouth, down onto his fingers.  He gave a little shout when Jack put a third finger into him, diving for his prostate.  Daniel’s body was quivering with delight.  “Harder,” he demanded, his pelvis rotating in a needy, jerky dance.

 

Sweat was running down Jack’s face, into his eyes and mouth.  He felt so hot he thought he might burst into flame, need burning his guts, melting his insides.

 

Daniel’s hands released their death grip on the covers and he reached for Jack, half sitting up, pulling him off his dick.  His eyes were wild with need as he pulled Jack upward, over him.  “Fuck!” he snapped, eyes glassy with passion.  “God, Jack, fuck me.  I need you.  God!”

 

Jack groped blindly for the lube and pulled back up to his knees, squeezing some out in his hand and coating his aching erection with it.  He lifted Daniel’s legs onto his shoulders and scooted closer, gripped his cock and fished around for Daniel's anus.  Jack felt the velvety, drooping flesh of Daniel’s sac, guided himself down the cleft and then suddenly, he was in, deep and fast.

 

“Oh!” cried Daniel, his body bucking beneath Jack, arching involuntarily away from him.

 

“You okay?”  Jack asked breathlessly, terrified and horny beyond belief.

 

“Hot,” Daniel panted.  “So full.  Hurts a little.”

 

“It does at first.  Do you want me to stop?”  Jack couldn’t move a muscle, frozen in place with half his cock buried in Daniel’s ass.

 

“Didn’t.. say… the word, Jack,” Daniel ground out. “You’ve… You’re… just… huge.”

 

“If it’s too much—“

 

“No! Just… gimme a minute.”  Daniel’s body gradually relaxed, his head leaning back against the cushions, his belly quivering in the effort to hold his legs up on Jack’s shoulders.  “Slowly.  Very slowly, okay?”

 

Jack nodded, his arms trembling from holding him up.  He groaned as he inched forward, pushing with his hips and knees, need scorching him, making his guts hurt.  “Tell me how you feel,” he begged, looking down into Daniel’s eyes.

 

“Scared,” he whispered back, his hands coming up to rest on Jack’s cheeks.  “I didn’t know what to expect.  It feels… weird.  Not hurting now, just kind of filled up.  You know?”

 

Jack nodded again.  He did know exactly what Daniel meant.  “Daniel,” Jack called, his control slipping.  He was fully inside his lover now, balls-deep and perfectly still.  He needed to move, needed it more than he needed to breathe.  He needed an anchor to keep him from flying apart, and found it in Daniel’s eyes.

 

“I love you, Jack,” he murmured, his hands cradling Jack’s face.

 

“Don’t stop,” Jack begged him.  “Just keep saying it.  I need to hear it, Daniel.  Please.”

 

Daniel got the message and rolled his hips, withdrawing away from Jack, then sliding back down on his cock to encourage him to move.

 

Jack bent over him and began to thrust, a deep, lazy glide at first.  Jack was beyond thinking, all his emotions burning bright, joining him at the soul to the man he loved.  Daniel’s lips moved in a mantra Jack could barely hear, repeating the same phrase in a multitude of languages that Jack didn’t recognize but could translate easily.  The meaning was shining in those blue eyes, now rolling closed as Daniel arched beneath him in bliss.

 

Strong fingers dug into his back and flanks, demanding more, harder, faster and Jack obeyed, thrusting into the hot, slick depths of his lover, radiantly aware of Daniel’s reaction.  He was close, his face pulled into a grimace of need as he edged nearer to completion, clawing at Jack’s back.

 

Daniel was the most beautiful thing Jack had ever seen.  Awe filled him, and all barriers fell away.  He felt totally free for the first time in his life, and when Daniel opened his eyes to catch a glimpse of him, Jack whispered, “I love you, Daniel.”

 

Tears flooded Daniel’s eyes and a soft sob escaped him.  He arched back again, writhing in need, unable to quite get where he so desperately needed to go. 

 

Jack pushed back suddenly to his knees, slipped his hands beneath Daniel’s buttocks and lifted them.  Daniel pulled Jack down to him, his knees up near his own face, his body bent in half as Jack crouched over him.  Jack couldn’t take his eyes off Daniel’s face, watching him as he shouted now, his hands clawing at the sheets beneath him, head reared back in delirious ecstasy.  Jack hit his prostate over and over until the first spasm hit, Daniel’s ass squeezing in delicious torment around Jack’s cock, the pulses of Daniel’s ecstasy shooting thick globs of come all over his chin and chest. 

 

Closing his eyes, Jack let go and felt the hot, wet fluid spurting out of him like liquid fire, filling Daniel’s body.

 

For a long time he just stayed there on his knees, waiting for his breath to get back to normal, and his brain to reinsert itself into his head. When he was able, he forced his eyes open and looked down at his lover, now relaxed against the cushions, knees bent and feet on either side of Jack’s head, still balanced on his shoulders. Jack looked down and watched his softening cock slip out from beneath Daniel’s balls.

 

“Are you okay?” Daniel asked him in a hoarse whisper as he lowered his feet to the bed.

 

Jack could only nod and point to Daniel, who grinned and nodded back.

 

“We did it,” Daniel whispered through his smile. “No more demons. I really belong to you now.”

 

Jack leaned down and kissed him until he had to stop to breathe. “Mine,” he agreed wholeheartedly. “My love.”  He stroked his palm over Daniel’s cheek, looking into his happy, sated face.  Jack was delirious with joy and utter satisfaction, so filled with love he wondered if he were glowing. 

 

A warning message from his knees finally filtered through Jack’s brain, and he started trying to change position and release the pressure on them. He pushed his legs back and sprawled on top of Daniel, propping up on his elbows so he could touch Daniel's face. He busied himself with licking off the dollops of come on Daniel's face and throat while he caught his breath.

 

Daniel's arms wrapped around him, his hands smoothing slowly up and down his back.

 

Drowsiness began to settle into Jack's consciousness, and he slipped slowly off his lover, rolling onto his back with a contented sigh. He couldn't wipe the big stupid grin off his face. Daniel really was a dream come true, and he’d been worth every second of the wait.

 

“I have to tell you, Jack,” Daniel panted, his voice light and happy. “I never thought there could be any sort of improvement over an orgasm. It’s just the best feeling there is. But I was wrong.” He wiped his sweaty face with both hands and rolled onto his side to regard his lover, propping up on one elbow. “That was the single best orgasm I’ve ever, ever, ever had. Now that I know what I’ve been missing, we may just have to find a position where we can do each other at the same time.”

 

“Not sure either one of us could manage that, with our knees in the shape they are,” Jack stated certainly. “We’ll just have to take turns being fuck-er and fuck-ee.”

 

“Is that a challenge?” asked Daniel with a coy smile. "Oh, and it's called top and bottom."

 

“Do you just happen to have a gay Kama Sutra handy or something?” teased Jack, thinking to himself that Daniel was always at his most beautiful with that just-fucked radiance thing he had going.

 

Daniel cleared his throat, his eyebrows lifting imperiously.  “As a matter of fact…” He rolled over, reached behind the airbed, and pulled out a large hardcover book with that very title.  Complete with photos and illustrations.

 

Jack took the book from him, studied the cover with mock seriousness, and then tossed it behind himself with a laugh, the broad cover hitting the floor with a slap.  He kissed Daniel long and hard, fading into slow and gentle.  Reluctantly he let Daniel’s lips go with a sigh.  “Have I told you how glad I am that you’re such a scholar?”

 

Frowning, Daniel made a great show of contemplating that thought.  “Hmmm.  No, I don’t think you ever have.”

 

“Well, I am.  You are a wicked, nasty, brilliant man, and I happen to love that about you.”  He rolled over Daniel and crawled over to the champagne bucket.  “And I’m so thirsty right now I could drink this whole bottle by myself.”  He grinned.  “But I won’t, because I’m so generous and sweet.”

 

He leaned down and kissed Daniel’s laughing mouth.  “And you know what else?  I love you, Daniel Jackson.  I love you, I love you, I love you! And it feels damn good to finally get that out.  It’s been stuck inside me for way too long.”   

 

And then he proceeded to unwrap the champagne so both of them could get thoroughly tipsy on their anniversary, and spend the night camping out in luxury in the woods, making love under a canopy of stars.

 

~~**~~

 

**21 August**

Two months later

 

“White bread or whole wheat?”

 

The words floated down the hallway as Daniel carried his can of Dr. Pepper into the den.  “Wheat, please,” he called back.  Then he smiled, knowing what would come next, and waiting for it.

 

“Mustard or mayo?”

 

“Mayo,” he called back.

 

“Want tomatoes?”

 

Daniel was sure Jack knew what he liked on his sandwiches, down to the diagonal cut across the finished product, but this was a little game they played with each other whenever Jack did the sandwich thing for dinner.

 

“Just one slice.”

 

“Lettuce?”

 

He chuckled and went to turn on the TV, then headed back for the doorway.  “That depends.  Is it iceberg or leaf?”

 

“Leaf.”

 

“Then yes.  And I think there’s some pepper jack cheese in the meat bin.  Throw a couple slices of that on there, too.  ‘kay?”

 

He waited by the door for the last inevitable question.

 

“Vertical, horizontal or diagonal cut?”

 

This time, he’d be sneaky.  “Don’t cut it.  I like my sandwiches whole, thanks.”

 

Shaking his head with a grin, he went over to the recliner and picked up the TV listings from the Sunday paper, tucking it under one arm as he leaned his cane against the end table between the chair and sofa.  He took a sip of his soda and meant to set the can down on a coaster so he could check the listings for something good to watch, but the newscaster’s voice caught his attention, and he turned to look at the screen at the mention of a familiar name.

 

“In other news today, it was reported that popular New Jersey governor James Turner Waterford has come under investigation for alleged sexual misconduct,” the reporter said into her microphone.  “A special panel has been set up by the state attorney general’s office to determine whether the evidence uncovered by journalist Jonathan Sorenson warrants further inquiry.”

 

Daniel’s fingers went numb and the Dr. Pepper can slipped out of his hand.  It crashed to the floor, bouncing off the carpet and spilling its contents all over his trousers and shoes, the sofa and chair.  He barely noticed, his eyes glued to the TV screen as it showed Governor Waterhouse hurrying down the courthouse steps, a large briefcase in his hand.  Surrounding him was a crowd of reporters, all attempting to thrust microphones and cameras in his face as they were fended off by security people before they could get too close.

 

“Daniel, I thought you said you liked—“ Jack’s statement was cut off as soon as he stepped into the room and saw Daniel.

 

“The reports so far have indicated numerous instances when Governor Waterhouse is alleged to have taken advantage of pages and young male campaigners—“

 

Daniel picked up the remote from the table and turned the television off.  He sat down heavily in the chair and put his head in his hands.

 

“You okay, Danny?” asked Jack, coming fully into the room.  He set the sandwich plate down and rounded the chair, barely glancing at the mess on the floor and furniture.  He sat down on the arm of the chair and started to rub his lover’s back, fingers and thumb moving in small, comforting circles.

 

Lifting his head, Daniel looked back at the black television screen.  "It's him, Jack," he said softly, his voice trembling. "That's the guy who raped me.  The fucking governor of New Jersey, James Waterhouse." 

 

He hung his head again, leaning on his knees, hands clasped loosely before him. “I never thought…” Daniel shook his head.  Regret and self-recrimination filled him.  “If I’d only said something, reported it back then, maybe this wouldn’t be happening now.”  He swallowed hard.  “Maybe those kids would have been safe.”

 

“Daniel, you were just a kid yourself when that happened to you,” Jack sighed heavily. 

 

He withdrew his hand, and swiveled around to sit down on the hassock in front of Daniel’s chair.  Placing his fingertips on Daniel’s knees, he looked up into his face.  “Listen.  I need you to understand what’s going on here. That bastard being in trouble is my doing.  I wanted justice for you, and figured if Waterhouse were the kind of guy who got away with it once, he’d probably try it again.  I had him--  I, ah, had him investigated.  And it looks like I was right.”

 

Daniel felt all his blood rush to his feet.  His stomach turned over.  He wrapped his arms around himself and sat back in his seat, his heart breaking, his eyes hot with the need to cry, a need he fought fiercely.  “You promised you wouldn’t hunt him down.”  He blinked at Jack, waiting for him to answer.  “You promised!”

 

Jack squirmed a little, got up, and moved away to sit on the nearby sofa.  His eyes were glimmering with apprehension and beads of sweat began forming on his upper lip.  “I didn’t.  Ah, not exactly anyway.  I knew if I got involved in tracking him down, I’d be tempted to kill him with my bare hands, and I knew you wouldn’t want that, not even after what he did to you.  So I handed the mission off to someone who owed me a few favors, made him promise to keep you out of it, and keep it legit. Once Chad started digging, he didn’t wanna let it go either. Waterhouse is scum, Daniel.  He’s a predator.  A rapist.  And he deserves to do time for what he’s done.”

 

He swallowed hard, obviously worried about Daniel’s reaction.  Daniel was all drawn up, his posture tense, hands clenched into fists on his knees, eyes haunted and dark, full of anguish.

 

“Chad Sorenson?” asked Daniel, his voice a raw pain in his throat, his mind going a million miles an hour.  “He was in the Air Force with you.  He’s the one, right?  One of the guys in that photo on the mantel. Does he have a son named Jonathan?”

 

Nodding, Jack looked down at the soft drink soaking into the beige carpet.  He fidgeted a little.  “Named after me. He’s a reporter.”  A look of surprised lit his face.  “Oh.  I guess it must have been him who broke the story, huh?  Chad did it up just right, then.  Kept it all in the family.”

 

Sitting back in the chair, Daniel thought about a lot of things in the blink of an eye.  Jack had technically kept his word, and Daniel let go of that ache inside, concentrating instead on what Jack's well-meaning investigation had turned up.  Daniel pressed his lips together firmly as resolve settled coldly into the pit of his stomach.  “Call him,” he said brusquely.

 

“Call who?”

 

“The New Jersey DA handling the investigation,” Daniel answered stiffly.  “The statute of limitations may have run out on what Jimmy Waterhouse did to me, but I’ve got evidence filed away that could be useful in establishing a pattern.  Get me added to the list of witnesses.”  

 

He turned determined eyes to his lover’s worried face.  “Jack, call Chad, too, while you’re at it.  I’d like a word in private with the governor before I talk to the DA.  See if your old buddy can get me in to see him quietly, off the record.”  Then, softening his voice, he added, “Maybe this will be a kind of justice… for both of us.”  

 

Jack exhaled in a whoosh of relief.  He got up from the sofa, his face more relaxed now that he knew Daniel wasn’t going to go ballistic on him, his mind obviously already on the mission.  He nodded briefly, leaned down to give Daniel a brief kiss on the lips, and then went to get the phone.

 

~~**~~

 

**27 August**

Six days later

 

Worry was written in every line of Jack’s handsome face.  “You sure you wanna do this, Daniel?” he asked uncertainly.  He straightened his tie of his Class A’s for the third time in five minutes, and smoothed a hand over his silver hair. 

 

“Yeah, I‘m sure. No turning back now,” Daniel told him. 

 

He wanted very much to touch Jack, but they’d discussed it and for this trip, they’d decided not to indulge in any public displays of affection, even going so far as to register for separate rooms at their Trenton hotel.  Reporters were everywhere, and the paparazzi were taking pictures of anyone connected to Governor Waterhouse at the moment.  Arranging this private meeting had forced Jack to call in quite a few markers, but his security clearance, good connections, and past service record had gotten him in, and along with him, his unidentified colleague, who also had top-secret clearance. 

 

Waterhouse would know the subject matter of the meeting in advance.  That was a given.  It hadn’t been easy getting it set up, but the governor wouldn’t have a clue what a retired Air Force colonel might have to do with a sex scandal.  All he knew was that Colonel Jack O’Neill and guest would be delivering some important confidential information related to the case into the governor’s hands. 

 

An aide had shown them into a small meeting room with a lovely view of the rose gardens behind the Governor’s mansion.  Jack stood at the window, gazing at the beauty outside, but then found himself pacing back and forth, his head down.  Daniel was very quiet and Jack was worried about him, but he knew how determined he was to go through with what they’d planned.

 

He finally took a seat at the large mahogany conference table.  He laid his briefcase down, opened it, and took out a new manila folder, setting it out in plain view. 

 

Though his legs were tired from all the walking they’d done that day, Daniel posted himself at another window, this one located in the farthest corner of the room from the door.  He put his back to the room, and waited for the governor to come to them.

 

Finally, at least ten minutes late, Waterhouse strode in, filled with self-importance, and came up to Jack with a smirk.  He introduced himself and leaned back against the table as he stood beside Jack’s chair, his arms crossed over his chest.  Jack had risen when he’d entered the room and now stood with the fingertips of his left hand pressed against the tabletop, facing the governor. Neither man had offered his hand in greeting. 

 

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with this smear campaign,” Waterhouse began, his modulated voice only slightly irritated, “but you need to tell whoever’s behind this to call off the hounds.  These charges are totally unsubstantiated, and you’ll never find one shred of evidence to support any of those claims.”

 

Daniel finally turned around and took a good look at him.

 

The governor was still an attractive man.  Curly dark hair was combed back from his well-tanned face.  Big hazel eyes flicked up to Daniel only for a moment, instantly dismissing him as nobody important before he looked back at Jack.

 

It seemed pretty plain that Waterhouse hadn’t recognized him.  Daniel wondered briefly if the guy even remembered repeatedly raping him in their college dormitory room.

 

“This isn’t a smear campaign,” said Jack flatly.  “It’s a quest for the truth, and for justice.”

 

Waterhouse chuckled.  “Truth, huh?  You think you’re going to find anyone who will come forward and say I had sex with them, aside from my wife? I don’t think so, pal.”

 

“Well, there is one,” said Daniel, drawing the man’s eyes back to his.  He took a step forward, hatred warming him.  “Don’t you remember me, Jimmy?”

 

Waterhouse’s dark brows drew together as he studied Daniel’s face.  “You do look a little… familiar… but I can’t place…”

 

Jack’s hands curled into fists at his sides until his knuckles showed white.

 

As he walked up to face the two men near the table, Daniel saw that his lover’s face was pale, lips drawn into a thin, intense line, and Jack was just starting to tremble a little.  His brown eyes were on fire.  His fuse was lit, getting shorter by the moment, and Jack's temper was about to blow.

 

“Think way back,” Jack suggested in his steely colonel’s voice.  “Your Uncle Perry worked for Hoffman-LaRoche in Europe.  They came out with a cool new tranquilizer, and after a few years of study, he discovered it caused amnesia and loss of motor control when mixed with alcohol.  Told his son about it. Your cousin, Peter, who was just about your age at the time.”

 

The expression on Waterhouse’s face shuttered closed.  “My uncle was a scientist who worked for a major pharmaceutical company.  So?”

 

Daniel took a step closer to Jack and put a hand on his sleeve, just reminding him to keep things civil.

 

Jack shook his hand off, his eyes locked on Waterhouse’s.  “So back in the early ‘80’s, nobody on this side of the Atlantic had ever heard of Rohypnol,” Jack went on, “but you had a direct pipeline into the source.  Which you’ve been able to maintain all these years. You can even still get it without the tell-tale blue marker they have to put in it now so it shows up in drinks.”

 

“Rohypnol?” asked Waterhouse with a phony grin.  His eyes were cold.  “What is that?”

 

Daniel spoke up.  “These days, it’s called ‘the date rape drug’ by the news media.  That’s what you used to subdue your victims when you raped them.”

 

Waterhouse scowled.  “I’ve never raped anyone,” he shot back sanctimoniously.  “This is all politically motivated—“

 

“No, it’s not,” Daniel assured him quietly.  Hot rage and cold vengeance swirled together in his belly.  His heart hammered in his chest.  “You see, I was one of your victims. Maybe even your first.”  He straightened.  “My name is Daniel Jackson, and I was your roommate at NYU for one semester. Your freshman year. I was the 16-year-old they stuck you with in the dorm.  Remember me now, Jimmy?  Wouldn't the press just love to hear how your first victim… was a minor.”

 

Shock passed over the governor’s face.  Recognition flickered in his eyes.  Fear followed it instantly.

 

Daniel glanced at the folder on the table, drawing the other man’s gaze down to it.  Daniel put an index finger on it and gently shoved it over a couple of inches towards the governor.  “That’s a copy of the test results done at the university medical center after the last time you raped me.  There are results of a blood test run on me along with a tox screen that shows elements of a drug that was unknown in the States at that time, but the components will be easily identifiable now as Rohypnol.  There are reports from semen samples taken from me that will match your blood type.  You weren’t even smart enough to wear a condom, you asshole.  Unfortunately there wasn’t any DNA testing back then, but there’s enough evidence, along with my testimony of finding you…”

 

Daniel took a deep breath, his hands curling into fists at his sides.  “I intend to testify that, after you’d doped me up, you undressed me, raped me, and then were too lazy to get out of my bed afterward.  You used me and then told me what a good fuck I was.”

 

Waterhouse’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  “You wanted it, Dan,” he sneered.  “You loved taking it up the ass. Couldn’t get enough of it.”

 

Jack went for him then, shouldering Daniel aside, grabbing Waterhouse’s lapels in his fists and throwing him down on his back on the table.  “Shut your fucking lying mouth, Waterhouse,” he hissed into the man’s face, “or I’ll shut it for you.”

 

Daniel reacted instantly, intent on protecting his lover.  He started to pull him off, forcing him backward and inserting his body between Jack and the governor.  “Jack!  No!”  Daniel told him, making eye contact, forcing Jack to look at him.  “You can’t.  This isn’t the way.  He’s not worth it.”

 

Jack released his hold on Waterhouse grudgingly, pushing him away with a sneer of disgust as he let go of him.

  

Daniel saw the incomprehensible rage in Jack’s intense brown eyes, aware how close to madness Jack was at that moment.  Part of Daniel wanted to loose this death machine on his attacker and watch as Jack killed him, but revealing what a monster Waterhouse was to the public and destroying the life the governor had so carefully built would be far more satisfying than taking it in an instant of violence. 

 

Daniel didn’t want that kind of vengeance, but even more than that, he didn’t want Jack punished for wanting justice for him, not when there was a better way.  Waterhouse wasn’t worth Jack’s freedom or his career.  He wasn’t worth the time of day, and it was time the public knew the truth about him.

 

Daniel turned around, putting his back to Jack, and staying in between the two men.  He eyed the governor, who was getting to his feet.  Waterhouse smoothed down his impeccable pinstripe suit, brushing at it with the backs of his fingers as though to remove some inconsequential road dust.

 

“You can’t prove a damned thing,” Waterhouse insisted in a smug voice, straightening his shoulders and looking down his nose at Daniel while he pointedly ignored Jack.  “You won’t find any witnesses or evidence of drug stashes.  All of this will be swept under the rug.  People will forget about it and go on with their lives.” 

 

He smiled and spread his hands expansively.  “And I’ll come out, like I always do, smelling like a rose.  Just you wait, Dan.  Wait and see.”  He smirked at Daniel and winked at him.

 

Feeling Jack surge forward again, growling under his breath and trying to get around him, Daniel instinctively put out a restraining arm to hold him back and keep him in place.

 

The governor looked over Daniel’s shoulders to lock eyes with Jack.  “Call off your guard dog, Dan,” Waterhouse suggested in a low voice.

 

“That’s Doctor Daniel Jackson to you,” Jack said menacingly, still leaning forward and trying to get closer to Waterhouse.  “He’s the only reason you’re—“

 

“What you did to me screwed up my life for a good long time, Jimmy,” Daniel interrupted, anxious for Jack not to verbally threaten this dangerous, influential man.  “Only now my nightmare is finally over, and it’s time you paid for your crimes.  I know it’s too late for me, but there are others, and after I get finished talking with the attorney general, and he gets through advising them, I have no doubt they’ll be ready to get up on a witness stand and sing.”

 

Waterhouse’s hazel eyes glimmered coldly.  “What do you want, Jackson?”

 

That was actually funny.  Daniel gave a startled little laugh and then grinned at Jack over his shoulder, shaking his head.

 

“Do you want money?  Prestige?  What do you want?  I can give you anything.”  He waved his hands expansively.

 

Daniel straightened, squaring his shoulders.  He limped over to his cane, which he’d left leaning against the wall by the window, and rested against it, taking some of the weight off his aching knee.  “You can’t give me what I want, Jimmy,” he said quietly.  “It has to be taken from you, just like you took my innocence and ability to trust from me.”

 

“What?  You want to do me?  Is that it?”

 

“No,” said Jack coolly from where he was closing up his briefcase and getting ready to go.  “He wants justice.  Something you obviously can’t understand.  That’s the one thing you can’t give to him, or to anyone else you hurt.”

 

“We’ll leave that to the courts,” Daniel assured the governor.  He glanced down at the folder, which was still on the table.  “You’ll find we’ve done quite a lot of the necessary evidence gathering.  The attorney general assures us it’s an airtight case.”

 

A fine sheen of perspiration glossed the governor’s grayish pallor.  “Tell me what you want,” he said again, an edge of desperation creeping into his voice.  “Anything.  I’ll give you anything!”

 

Daniel eyed him, head tipped back, looking down his nose at the scum.  “What I want is to see you in a prison cell.  How ‘bout that for starters, Jimmy?”

 

He turned and started to stroll out of the meeting room, listening for Jack on his heels.  Just before he opened the door, Daniel turned once more.  “And then I’d like to see you in hell.”

 

They emerged into the hall, and Jack closed the door quietly behind them.  They nodded at the security guys standing just outside with the governor’s aide.

 

A moment later, the man in the dark suit stepped into the meeting room to check on his employer, while Jack and Daniel made their way out of the governor’s mansion, into the late afternoon sunshine, both smiling and filled with a sense of relief.

 

~~**~~

 

**1 October**

Five weeks later

 

Jack handed Daniel a damp paper towel to wipe the vomit off his lips, standing aside by the bathroom stall door and waiting.  He watched with deep concern as Daniel flushed the toilet, his face white as a sheet, and tottered unsteadily over to the sink to rinse his mouth and face.  Jack pulled a small tin of mints from the trouser pocket of his fatigues, opened it, and handed one to his lover as soon as he straightened up.

 

“I didn’t think it would be this hard,” said Daniel, his voice trembling.

 

“I did,” Jack told him honestly, patting his shoulder affectionately.  “You okay?  Wanna stay here a little longer?”

 

Daniel shook his head, sliding the mint around on his tongue to get the awful taste out of his mouth.  “No, I’ll be all right once I get going.  Let’s get this over with.”

 

Jack waited until he made eye contact.  He stroked the backs of his knuckles over Daniel’s cheek and gave him what he hoped was a comforting smile.  “I’m proud of you.  This is a brave thing you’re doing.”

 

“It’s a good thing,” said Daniel on a sigh.  “I think it’ll help people.”  His mouth softened and the mint clicked against his teeth as he spoke.  “I just don’t want anyone to have to go through what we did.  If this helps even one person, it’s all worth it.”

 

Jack gave him a brief hug, which Daniel returned, then he leaned on his cane and headed for the bathroom door.

 

It was a short walk down the hall to the auditorium.  This was to be the first presentation of the week, several more scheduled to follow until every soldier and civilian employed at Cheyenne Mountain and every cadet and officer at the Air Force Academy had been through the lecture.  Daniel had researched his facts and had statistics prepared.  His notes were organized and the speech written, edited, and polished until he thought it was as compelling as humanly possible.

 

He stood in the wings at the side of the stage, waiting for Doctor Stevenson to finish her part of the presentation and introduce him.  Jack stood at his side, along with Sam Carter, Teal’c, Janet Fraiser, and General Hammond, his personal support group.

 

As he listened to the psychologist finish her introduction, he watched her step away from the podium and turn to face him.  With a last glance at Jack for courage, and his whispered, “Knock ‘em dead,” in his ears, Daniel strode out onto the stage and shook her hand, willing the butterflies in his stomach to be still.

 

Though there was a bright spotlight shining on him from the control booth at the far end of the auditorium and footlights all along the edge of the stage, they only partially masked the size of the crowd assembled before him.  There were hundreds of people out there, men and women, soldiers and civilians, young and old, married and single.  Most of them would shrug off what he had to say with a note of sympathy.  Maybe some would laugh about him behind his back, but somewhere out there in the audience were a few who desperately needed to hear what he had to say.  Those were the ones he was doing this for, the ones who mattered most to him. 

 

 “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending this mandatory meeting,” he began with a smile.

 

A titter of laughter accompanied his half-hearted jest.

 

“I wanted Doctor Stevenson to introduce me because she’s a specialist in her field.  While many of those who are her patients have no need of her specialty, I’m sure that there are far more who do.  So I wanted each of you to know her face and her name, to see how warm and kind she is.  Then if you do have need of her special brand of compassion, you’ll feel as if you already know her.”

 

He paused, glancing down at his note cards, gathering himself.  He could feel Jack’s eyes on him, feel the strength of his love reaching out to him on the stage, holding him in a cocoon of peace. Daniel looked past the light in his eyes to try to focus on individual faces of the few he could see, people he didn’t yet know, but who would soon know him.

 

“Doctor Stevenson,” he started again slowly, “is a highly skilled professional psychologist, on staff here at the base to help all of us who get too stressed at times, or have more put on our plates than we can handle.  A lot of people go to see her, but I’m sure there are many more who need to and don’t go.  You see, Doctor Stevenson is also a rape counselor. That’s why I went to see her for the first time a few months ago.  Because I was raped, a long time ago, in college.”

 

Daniel felt his throat start to close at that public admission.  He swallowed past it and blinked back the tears burning his eyes.  As painful as this was for him, he knew there were others out there who needed to hear him say this out loud.  They needed his courage to find their own.

 

He launched into a brief description of what had happened to him and how it had affected him unconsciously for decades.  At some point during the speech his audience swam behind a veil of tears, which he allowed to roll down his cheeks, wiping them away only when he needed to pause to collect himself.

 

He continued on, delivering statistical information on rape among military societies such as their base and the academy, focusing on the even less reported incidents of male-on-male rape.  He urged his audience to get help and do what they could to stop others from being victims by reporting such crimes, pressing charges against their attackers and helping to put them away.

 

His was a passionate plea not to let lives be ruined by shame and fear, and he closed with an invitation to a group meeting the following week, giving the time and place, and promising to be there for anyone who wanted to talk to him.  He even gave them his personal cell phone number and email address for those who didn’t want to come out in public to start the process of healing, assuring them that he would respond with sympathy and compassion; that he would listen and support them all.

 

When he finished, he thanked them again and limped off-stage, back to the group waiting in the wings, just out of sight of most of the audience.

 

Sam’s eyes were red-rimmed and her lashes were spiky from recent tears as she reached for him and hugged him close.  “God, Daniel, I didn’t know,” she sniffed.  “Anything I can do to help, just name it, and I’ll be there.”   

 

Teal’c gave him a deep bow.  “As will I, DanielJackson.”

 

“That was very brave,” General Hammond said, and shook his hand.  “But then, I’ve always known you were a courageous man, Doctor Jackson.  This is a great thing you’re doing today. Perhaps it’ll start a change that’s long overdue in the way we do things here.”

 

Janet just beamed at him and handed him a tissue.

 

Daniel turned around, looking for Jack, but he was gone.

 

Then unexpectedly he heard a loud tapping on the microphone on the stage behind him, and Jack’s voice demanding, “Is this thing still on?”

 

Daniel turned and saw his partner lift the microphone off the stand, stepping away from the podium.  “Yeah, everybody just sit down,” he ordered the audience, his left hand patting the air to return people to their seats.  “We’re not done yet.  Colonel Jack O’Neill, here.  Retired, but I earned the rank and still work downstairs in the mountain, so back in your chairs, folks.”

 

The spotlight came on again, flooding him in a wash of radiance.  Daniel held his breath, not sure what else Jack was going to add.  This hadn’t been rehearsed.  Jack wasn’t even supposed to be up there.

 

After a few moments, the audience resumed their seats and fell silent.

 

“There, that’s better.”  Jack shaded his eyes and looked out at the small sea of people.  “I just wanted to add a couple things to what Doctor Jackson said, there.”  He cleared his throat and took a couple of steps, just wandering aimlessly on the stage, his eyes on the crowd he couldn’t quite see behind the footlights.

 

“The military’s gotten a bad rep the last several years because of this very subject,” he began.  “I know the Academy’s been trying to deal with it, but they’ve been failing because it’s an unspoken rule that we look out for our own, we clean up our own messes.  Only we haven’t done such a good job of that, even with a whole new administration at the Academy.”  He glared beneath his hand and his expression hardened.  “Thing is, the way we’ve done things in the past, we’re looking to protect the wrong people.”

 

Daniel thought he knew what Jack meant.  He’d heard about the allegations of rapes of female students at the Academy, and the Air Force’s way to deal with it had been to replace the administrative staff.  Nothing had changed except for the names on doors and desks.  The attacks were still occurring, and Daniel knew that, for every rape reported, there were countless others that were not. Particularly if the student were male.

 

Jack strolled across the stage, casting a glance at General Hammond in the wings.  “Those who abuse the helpless have no place here.  The ones we want to keep are the ones who’ve been through hell and survived, not the ones who dish it out.”

 

He took a couple of steps closer to the crowd.  “Some of you know we have civilian employees among the various programs on this base, especially under the mountain.  A lot of us military types see them as hindrances, interlopers, people who don’t belong here among soldiers.”

 

There were a couple of hearty male shouts peppering the audience.  Jack’s head turned toward the sound of their voices, his eyes narrowing.

 

Daniel could feel Jack’s quietly restrained anger at those outbursts and knew that this was The Colonel speaking, not the man.  He was cool and professional, made of steel and stone.  Daniel wondered if Jack were going to talk about what had happened to him, and found himself silently hoping he would keep that secret between them and Doctor Sorenson, because he knew what it would cost Jack to reveal it to his peers.

 

He swallowed hard and listened, watching Jack’s controlled reaction to those jeers against the academics, reading his emotions clearly in his burning gaze.

 

“You better be glad I can’t see your faces for the glare, boys,” Jack said quietly, his voice low and menacing.  “Because a lot of these guys in glasses are saving our collective asses. We need them and what they can do for us, so the next time one of you jarheads or flyboys thinks one of those dweebs needs taking down a peg or two, you think about this.”

 

He straightened up and shot a glance at Daniel, filled with strength, pride and unshakable love.  Then he turned back to the crowd.

 

“If you take your fists to some geek in a dark part of the parking lot, someone will know about it.  If you wanna put him in his place and shove his face in the dirt while you humiliate him, someone will find out about it, and God forbid it’s me. Rape is not payback, and we should never, ever look away from those who use it as a tool to keep others in line or drive them away.  If you don’t like somebody, or you’ve got a beef with ‘em, take it to your C.O. for resolution. Don’t handle it yourself.  We need these geeks and dweebs among us.  Some of them are damn fine soldiers, too.  I can personally vouch for the fact that Doctor Jackson’s one of ‘em.”

 

The audience sat perfectly still, no one moving.  Daniel grinned, hanging his head shyly as Sam playfully punched his shoulder.  He was so proud of Jack, and Jack had just indicated to everyone else that he was equally proud of Daniel.

 

“We don’t like to think about rape,” Jack continued.  “We turn away from the subject when it’s brought up, because it’s painful.  It makes us ashamed.  Even those who commit it seldom think of themselves as rapists, but they need to learn when the label fits, when they cross the line.  If a woman tells you ‘no’ and you think she’s playing hard to get, it’s rape.  If a woman is so drunk she can hardly walk and tells you yes, it’s still rape.”  

 

He stopped and took a breath.  His hand was shaking slightly as he rubbed briefly at the back of his neck.  “And if you want to settle a score with some four-eyed geek who got you in trouble and you go that route, it’s rape.  If you find out somebody in your unit is gay, and you want to send him a message that he’s not welcome, by God, that’s rape, too.  Any time you use your… personal equipment as a weapon, or to even a score, whether you’re doing it to a woman or a man, it’s rape.  Whenever you’re sticking it where it’s not wanted, where you have no permission to be, it’s rape.” 

 

Daniel could see the crowd shifting uncomfortably in their seats as Jack’s lecture began to hit home.  People were looking at the floor, at their laps, at the ceiling, anywhere but into someone else’s eyes, especially not into his.

 

Jack didn’t slow down.  “We need to have the same attitude toward those who commit rape in our own ranks as we do with foreigners who abuse our soldiers, like Jessica Lynch.  I know we’d all like a piece of the Iraqis who raped and sodomized her.  I know I would.” 

 

Cheers went up again, some of them from the higher pitched voices of women.

 

Jack’s eyes narrowed.  “Of course we would.  Saddam’s Iraqis are our enemies.  But the guy sitting next to you, the one in the same uniform you’re wearing – he’s not your enemy, is he? He’s your buddy, your pal.  He watches your six.  You trust him, right?’

 

People started looking at each other and wondering.

 

With a shake of his head, Jack answered his own question.  “Men who commit rape are not your brothers in arms.  They are not your friends.  They are not fit to watch your six, because if they’ll take advantage of someone who’s weak or helpless, if they’ll hurt and humiliate someone who’s different or that they just don’t like for whatever reason, eventually they’ll find a reason to turn on you, too.  People who commit rape are not to be trusted, no matter what uniform they might be wearing. If you know someone who has hurt people in this way, turn them in.  We don’t want them among us, because they aren’t fit to wear the same uniforms we do.  Help us get the predators out of our ranks.  They don’t deserve to be here.  The military is about honor, and there is no honor in rape.”

 

Jack stopped pacing, looking down at the floor now.  He drew a deep breath and raised his head to regard the crowd, his eyes filled with gentle sorrow, his voice softer and kinder as he went on.  “And if it’s happened to you, please report it.  Tell me.  Tell Doctor Jackson or Doctor Stevenson.  Tell your unit physician or go to an ER, and have evidence gathered as soon as possible.  It’s a humiliating process, but you’ve got to help us get those sorry bastards out of our ranks and behind bars so they don’t do it to someone else, because if somebody doesn’t stop them, that’s exactly what they’ll do.  If they do it once and get away with it, they just might learn to like it, and more will suffer the consequences. That’s not what we want in an American soldier.”

 

Daniel’s heart was in his throat.  He took a deep, trembling breath, hoping Jack would stop soon.  He’d made his point, over and over.  He didn’t need to add more, and Daniel was terrified that he would.

 

“If you don’t tell because you’re afraid for your career, because you’ve been threatened, whatever the reason, the rapist goes free.  You, on the other hand, are locked in a prison inside your own head for the rest of your life.  For the healing to start, you have to talk about it, and it’s not easy.  Letting it out and getting real with a counselor may be the hardest thing you’ll ever experience, but it’s necessary.  Keeping it all inside, trying to make yourself believe it didn’t happen -- that doesn’t work. Eventually, something will happen in your life that will bring it all back to you, fresh and sharp in your mind, and when it does…” He lifted his chin higher, swiped a hand over his face and took a deep breath. 

 

“This isn’t something you can handle alone.  I know, because I’ve been there.  You see, it happened to me, too.”

 

Daniel heard Sam gasp beside him.  Instinctively he reached out and put his arm around her, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Jack.  He watched the man move slowly into parade rest, his feet spread slightly, head up, shoulders back, left hand resting at the small of his back, right holding the microphone up by his mouth.

 

“Sometimes there is no justice to be had.  None that we’ll ever know about, anyway,” he added quietly.  “Jessica Lynch will likely never see the men who violated her put in prison, nor will I. Things like this happen on foreign soil, during wartime, and nothing can be done to make it right.  Just another kind of casualty, you know?  That’s what happened to me.”  He cleared his throat and turned those steely brown eyes onto the faces he could see. “But whenever it happens here at home, don’t stand beside the man who did the crime and help him cover it up.  Help us root those bastards out of our ranks, and stand with me…” He turned his head, looking into the wings and smiled just a little, nodding. “…and with Doctor Jackson…” He waved Daniel over and pointed to the floor beside him.

 

Daniel gave Sam a final little squeeze, let her go and walked out onto the stage to stand beside Jack, so proud of him in that moment that he thought his heart would burst.

 

“…and let’s tell all those sons of bitches who think they can get away with violating others among our ranks that they can go to hell, and we’ll be happy to show ‘em the way!” He punched his fist in the air and the crowd leaped to their feet, cheering and clapping.

 

Smiling, Daniel applauded, too, adding in a loud whistle to cheer his partner on. “Hear, hear!” he said quietly in approval, his words drowned out in the noise of the crowd.  A movement to his left made him turn his head.  Sam Carter was marching toward them.  She walked behind him and Jack and posted herself on his other side, standing in parade rest, her arms behind her, chin held high and a proud, defiant gleam in her eye.  A moment later, Janet Fraiser joined her, then Teal’c, who stood at Daniel’s left, and General Hammond, who stood to Doctor Fraiser’s right.

 

Doctor Stevenson returned to the lineup as well, and when she was in place and the cheering began to subside, General Hammond stepped up and took the microphone from Jack.

 

“I’m sure you all realize that Colonel O’Neill wasn’t inciting any kind of vigilante justice,” he cautioned, glancing at Jack, who emphatically shook his head in agreement.  “But this is a situation that has gone unchecked for far too long.  We encourage all of you with any knowledge of such attacks to get medical help for the victims and then please report the crime to your commanding officers.  If you are a victim, we encourage you to come forward and get help.  It’s never too late.  Victims of rape are not in any way responsible for the crimes against them, nor should they carry any kind of stigma.  They deserve our compassion, kindness and understanding.”

 

He turned to Jack and Daniel with pride in his blue eyes.  “And some of them deserve thanks for our very lives.”

 

Jack gave him a brusque nod before turning his gaze to the floor.

 

Daniel just smiled.  He couldn’t remember a time when he’d been prouder of his team, his friends, or the SGC than he was at that moment.  “One for all,” he said quietly to himself, “and all for one.  Yeah.” 

 

~~**~~

 

**8 October**

One week later

 

The reception hall was quiet.  Jack and Sam stood talking softly to Doctor Sorenson, the three of them trying to decide if they should start folding up chairs and putting them away.  Daniel poured himself another cup of coffee, watching Teal’c inspect the tray of donuts one more time, looking for another blueberry glazed.  They’d been waiting for over an hour past the announced starting time, hoping the assemblies at which they’d spoken the previous week would yield at least a few secret victims in need of counseling, but now, it seemed, their efforts had failed.  No one had shown up. 

 

Daniel stared down into his coffee cup with a sigh.  “Thanks for helping out, Teal’c,” he said quietly.  “I’m not much good with moving furniture anymore.”

 

“You are still a valuable asset in our fight, DanielJackson,” the Jaffa intoned.  “Moving furniture is the work of lesser men.”

 

That made him blush, especially when accompanied by that elegant bow.  “Thank you, Teal’c, but you’re hardly a lesser man.”  He patted the big guy on the shoulder and sat down heavily in one of the folding chairs.

 

“You are welcome, DanielJackson.”

 

“Maybe it was a little presumptuous, setting up a hall this size,” Daniel mused, swirling the dark liquid in his Styrofoam cup.  “We should probably have the next one in someplace smaller, cozier.”

 

“DanielJackson.”

 

At Teal’c’s summons, Daniel glanced up at his friend, then followed his gaze toward the door.

 

Two women stood there whom Daniel didn’t recognize.  He turned and called to Doctor Stevenson, who went forward to meet the women and invite them into the room. Coming in just behind them was a man dressed in fatigues, fear and uncertainty glittering in his eyes.

 

Daniel stood up, patted Teal’c on the arm, and said softly, “Go get Jack.”  Then he was up and hobbling over toward Major Griff, eager to help him feel welcome and at ease.

 

One by one, two by two, the room began to fill.  Some dressed in casual clothes, others still in duty fatigues.  Before another half hour had passed, the room was nearly filled.  Doctor Stevenson sat up and called everyone to order, gave them a warm welcome, and offered advice on how they should get started on the road to healing.

 

~~**~~

 

**11 October **

Three days later

 

Autumn chilled the air, brisk with the promise of coming winter as Jack and Daniel strolled hand in hand through their garden.  Many of the more delicate plants had already been trimmed back and covered, but the hardier ones were still soaking up what sun they could get. 

 

Daniel watched as Jack let go of his arm and squatted down beside the Snowfire rosebush, heaping up the mulch around its base, pulling off a yellowed leaf here, checking the swelling buds there.  The last flowers would be blooming shortly before the plant went into winter hibernation, and Daniel looked forward to seeing them unfurl.

 

“You’re doin’ just fine, aren’tcha, baby?”  Jack whispered to it, turning over a few leaves to check for pests or fungus.  When he finished, he adjusted the placement of the heart-shaped stone he had given Daniel, who had, in turn, placed it at the base of the rose.

 

“Did you have any doubts that our bush would be happy here?” asked Daniel with a contented gleam in his eyes, watching his lover fuss over the plant, swearing softly at the pricks from the thorns.

 

Jack shrugged.  “One can never be sure with high maintenance plants like that one,” he answered hesitantly.  “I try, but I’m not perfect.  I may make mistakes.  Give it the wrong mix of fertilizer.  Under or over water it.  It’s gonna be a constant process of corrections and adjustments. It’s hard work keeping it happy.”

 

“Same goes for the gardener, you know,” Daniel told him with a smile.  “His attention wanders.  He forgets important things, and the rose wilts to get his attention back.”

 

A slow smile spread over Jack’s face as he straightened up and looked Daniel in the eye.  “Yeah, I know.  But when that baby blooms, watch out.  We’ll be beating people off with a stick.  And nobody’s picking any of those flowers, Daniel.  They’re staying on the bush, where they belong.”

 

“You can pick some, if you want,” Daniel reminded him, coming to slip one arm around Jack’s waist.  “It belongs completely to you, you know.”  He leaned on his cane and let his eyes rove over Jack’s face.

 

“I’d rather enjoy it in its natural setting,” Jack countered, embracing Daniel’s shoulders.  “I like looking at it in its bed.”

 

Daniel grinned and lifted his face for a gentle kiss.  “Well, then…” He pulled away, his hand sliding up to Jack’s shoulder and then down his arm to his hand, towing him toward the deck.  “Let’s go make that rose bloom, shall we?”

 

With a soft chuckle, Jack followed him up onto the deck and into the house, to the gardener’s favorite bed.

 

~~**~~

 

Later that evening

 

Sated and happily weary, Jack climbed the steps to the observation deck, following Daniel’s slow progress, one hand on his waist in case he missed a step.  The night was cool, but he’d already been up to prepare everything.  He’d lighted candles along the railing, and had carried up blankets and pillows for them to sit on.  Champagne was chilling on ice, and there was a thermos of hot coffee to warm them up if necessary.  There also was a tray of snacks.

 

They’d spent most of the afternoon in bed, enjoyed a lazy supper, and then had watched a rented movie snuggled in each other’s arms on the den sofa.  Now that night had fallen and the stars were out, Jack had decided they should have a romantic tryst up top and had quietly withdrawn to make the preparations while Daniel got in a little work at the desk. 

 

Once up the steps, they took their seats on the big cushions Jack had brought up, with Jack leaning against one propped on the railing in a corner, and Daniel sitting between his legs on another, his long limbs stretched out in front of him.

 

For a few moments they just sat there, looking up at the night sky in the perfect silence.  A cool breeze wafted over them at times, so Jack unfolded one of the blankets and pulled it up around them, wrapping Daniel up in the cloth and his arms.  He bent his head to kiss the side of Daniel’s face, earning an appreciative little hum from his lover.

 

“Looks like Waterhouse is gonna get what’s coming to him,” Jack murmured with a satisfied sigh.

 

Daniel smiled, leaning back into Jack’s warmth.  He nudged the side of Jack’s head with his temple.  “We can only hope.  A jury could still be swayed.  Power, charisma and celebrity have gotten the guilty off before.”  

 

“We’ll see.  Trial probably won’t be over for a year or so.”  Jack tucked his nose into the crook of Daniel’s neck and sniffed, then kissed him there.

 

“I meant to thank you for all the work you’ve been doing with the support group,” Daniel added quietly.  “You’re good at it.  The military types, I think they need you there, as one of their own.”

 

Jack nibbled the side of Daniel’s neck.  “It’s a good thing we’re doing.  It’s helping people.  And I think it helps us to do that for them.”

 

“Yeah.  Not bad for a couple of gay guys, huh?”  Daniel twisted around, stretched up and kissed Jack’s ear, then turned and snuggled deeper into his arms.

 

“Are we gay?”  Jack asked aloud a moment later.  He pulled the blanket tighter around Daniel’s chest, snuggling him closer.  “I don’t know, Daniel.  I’ve tried lookin’ at guys.  Tried to see if any of ‘em turn me on, and the answer to that is always a big ‘hell no!’ I look at women, and it’s all right there, ready for a salute.  A pretty smile, a nice rack, a cute ass… Women still do it for me.  But nothing, no one gets me going like you do, Daniel. Whether you’re down on your butt in the dirt scrubbing crud off an artifact or licking your lips at a stoplight, you are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.  I think it’s just you.”

 

“Maybe what we feel for each other defies gender boundaries,” Daniel offered thoughtfully, sliding his hands over Jack’s. “All I know for sure is, I don’t want to be with anyone else, ever again. You’ve ruined me, Jack O’Neill. And that makes me really happy.”  He smiled and turned his head, giving Jack a light peck on the cheek.

 

“Same goes for me,” Jack assured him. “I might keep looking, ‘cause I’m a guy, and I’m not dead or blind. I’ve got eyes, and I notice stuff. Asses, mostly. I’m an ass man.”

 

Daniel chuckled. “No shit, Jack!  I noticed. You’ve been staring at mine for years.”

 

“Yeah, well, I know quality when I see it.” He snuggled closer, resting his chin on Daniel’s shoulder. “And I get to do a lot more than just stare at it now.”  Both of them chuckled at that, and then Jack added solemnly, “But I’ll never touch anyone else, ever again, Daniel. My word of honor on that.”

 

Daniel twisted around in his embrace to make eye contact. “That means a lot to me, Jack. I know that, once you give it, you’ll never break your word.”

 

The stars dimmed in the nimbus of that radiant expression. Jack couldn’t see anything else but that smile, and the love shining out of Daniel’s eyes.

 

Daniel touched Jack’s face with his fingertips. “This is that ‘till death do us part’ thing, huh?” he whispered.

 

Jack nodded, a lump forming in his throat. “Yeah, Danny. Whatever we are… wherever we may go… we belong exclusively to each other, now and forever.”

 

“Two sides of the same petal,” said Daniel as he turned around in Jack’s embrace and leaned his head against Jack’s shoulder with a contented sigh, lacing their fingers together and wrapping himself up in Jack's arms.

 

“Snowfire,” mused Jack against Daniel’s hair. “Love that name. It’s so yin and yang.”

 

“Just like us. We’re the garden and the gardener, both needing each other to survive.”

 

“I love you, babe.”

 

Just this once, Daniel didn’t say it back to him. At least, not with words. 

 

FINIS

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